


Wind In My Sails

by Eccehomo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Financial Struggles, Gay Niall, Homophobia, M/M, Minor Character Death, Secret Relationships, Short Hair Harry, larry stylinson - Freeform, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-05-26 11:37:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 57,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6237064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eccehomo/pseuds/Eccehomo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A self-taught genius and an award-winning Harry Edward Styles is the youngest Professor to ever work at the University of Oxford. A straight-A law student, Louis Tomlinson, is desperate to graduate from Oxford Law. When a course brings them together, they learn they have far more in common than their hatred for each other.</p><p>Liam and Zayn engage in a secret relationship after meeting on the Oxford's footy team. Niall learns to let go of the one thing he loves and welcome in another.*</p><p> </p><p>-Or-</p><p>The one with Louis as Harry's troubled student and Liam and Zayn face the impossible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Setting: University of Oxford- English Department- Office of the Dean

"Now you are probably curious as to why we've called you here Mr. Styles." The bald man looked up from where he was writing on paper and glanced over the top of his glasses waiting on Harry's response.

Harry sat up straighter, feeling his heart pacing quicker as tension overwhelmed his body. "Uh... yes." He cleared his throat, "yes sir, I'm.. uh, curious." He leaned back in his chair hoping the discomfort was not as apparent as he imagined.

"Very well then, you can relax your shoulders, Mr. Styles, I'm in receipt of good news. The department would like to add you as an addition to our staff. I've been given fond reviews of your achievements. Stellar reviews, actually. "

The man peered over his glasses with a fond smile forming on his lips.

"You were our top Teacher's Assistant this past year and your thesis has made it to top scholarly publications, hmmm." He hummed, looking up straight ahead at Harry. "What do you think Mr. Styles? First year undergraduate studies in Queer Literature. Your thesis was far too great to go unnoticed"

Harry placed his elbows up on the arm rests and drew his fingertips together, he bit his lips together and connected his eyes with the Dean's.

"That's very generous of you Dean.. uh.. sir-"

"You may call me William."

"Yes, right, well Si- William, I am honoured really." Harry dropped his hands to his knees, his gaze following, studying the pattern on the shoes he adorned.

"Harry."

Harry looked up to the Dean who was eyeing him earnestly.

"You are going to be the youngest Professor to ever teach at Oxford."

Harry swallowed thickly, feeling the sudden weight of the responsibility.

"Which brings me to ask, did you skip a grade?"

"Uh, yes, well.... actually," he lowered his voice, "skipped three grades sir."

"Three grades? My! You must be a genius then!"

Harry blushed, looking back down to his shoes. His head shot up as quickly as he let it down.

"Are you sure I will be a good fit? I mean uh sir, I know I can lecture but like, I'm not certain about designing a new course's syllabus. "

"Non-sense Mr. Styles, your Ph.D. Thesis IS the syllabus. We have paired you up with another new Professor we hired for this upcoming term. Professor Liam Payne is his name. You will be sharing offices and given instructions on how to prepare for your lectures, the roles of our directors in the department and how to set up the online blackboard for the students to access."

The Dean stood up and pulled on his belt that was clinching tightly below his belly. He cleared his throat as he walked to the filing cabinet to the left of his desk. Harry's eyes drifted back and forth to the motions of the Dean. He watched silently as his mind raced with the possibilities of what taking this offer would bring.

"We have-" The Dean paused, grabbing a few bound papers and handing them over to Harry. "Your contract here, three years with the Department, nine terms over the course of the next three years. It will state your salary and a breakdown of how to allocate your office hours, lectures and revision times."


	2. Prologue

Dedicated to Skye.

Setting: University of Oxford- Liam and Harry's Office- Early September

Harry walks into the dimly light office furnished with dark oak and draped with heavy velvet. He takes a quick glance before spotting the dark haired man seated behind his desk typing away.

"Hi." He clears his throat as the dark eyes shoot up from the screen and land on him.

"Oh Hi" He quickly responds with a smile. "You must Professor Styles."

"Yes, uh, that's me." He walks forward with his hand outstretched to shake the man's hand. "Actually, you can like, call me Harry."

"Nice to meet you Harry, I'm Liam," He says with a firm grip on the younger man's hand. "I'm so honored to meet you, I've heard a lot about you. You are the talk of the Faculty."

Harry retrieved his hand with a slight nod at Liam's comment.

"Uh, yeah, not special or anything, just a normal lad." He smiled firmly looking over to the desk assigned to him.

"That's your desk," Liam comments, seeing Harry's eyes scanning the room. "First day in I reckon? I will show you around the department staffs lounge if you'd like."

Harry moves to his desk and lays his brief case gently against his chair. "Sure, yeah" he nods, "I'd very much like that Liam."

"Cool, yeah, they have coffee machines and tea and microwaves, there's even a fish tank in there." Liam replies excitingly while getting up and walking towards him.

"Fish tank? Ohhhh.." Harry glances up at Liam with a fond expression and smiles widely revealing the deep imprints of his dimples.

The two walk through the staffs lounge as Liam shows Harry where all the complimentarily supplies are stored. He offers to make him coffee, which Harry humbly accepts with a nod of his head. The pair is seated briefly at the lounge table waiting on the coffee to brew.

"So are you excited? First year teaching?" Liam asks grinning.

"Yeah," Harry responds nodding. He lifts his hands to express himself, "like nervous," his fingers pointing towards his chest "but like, I'm happy too, yeah?"

"Yeahhhh.. " He pauses, looking away for a second, "I know what you mean, but we are teaching at Oxford mate, how many young lads get that privilege?"

 

Harry smiles with a nod, looking down to his long legs that are tightly crossed on top of each other. The thought of teaching at Oxford has not sunk in yet. His family's congratulatory party was not the proof he needed. His new desk did not give way to that indication either. There has to be something substantial that will have the feeling sink in but what it is, where it is, or how long it will take for him to believe it, he knew not.

 

\--------------------

 

 

Setting: University of Oxford- Men's Locker room.

"Ugh, I hate that they made us come to the campus two week prior to our start date, such rubbish." Louis was frantically rummaging through his duffle bag searching for his socks. He was getting changed with his football teams ready to train for the fifth practice of the pre- season.

"We are two weeks in, too late to complain now," responded the dark haired mid-fielder.

"If it wasn't for this bloody scholarship, I would be at home now, watching me telly and sipping on tea." Louis carefully strapped the Velcro on his chin-pads tightly before sliding his foot into his sock, he looked up to where Zayn was standing, sliding his jersey over his head. "Did you hear about Liam?" Louis asked him.

Zayn's eyes shot up quickly, waiting on Louis to continue. "He has a teaching post here at Oxford now. Who would've thought our goal keeper Liam would be a Professor one day?"

Zayn smirked looking down to the side of him where his street clothes lay scattered over the bench. He carefully leaned over, stuffing his clothes into his bag.

"Obviously I've heard Lou, you know Liam and I are dat- definitely good friends." Zayn struggled to finish, wincing at his almost slip.

" He is going to be playing, you know." Zayn paused, looking over at Louis who was now zipping up his bag. "In that fundraiser game we play each year against the Faculty."

"Well that's brilliant!" Louis shot, "How are we going to score if he is playing?"

Zayn smiled at the boy's comment and brought his hand up to sooth the facial hair on his chin.

"You okay Zayn?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, great, I'm just fantastic yeah?"

"Right." Louis' eyebrows drew in together at the choice of words his friend used. He threw his bag over his shoulder, "off we go then?"

 

"Off we go." Zayn responded, still grinning from ear to ear.

 

\---------------------

 

 

Setting: Queer Literature Lecture- Day 1

Harry was standing in front of the small lecture hall, the ceiling raised high with delicately adorned wood carvings. The lecture room was brightly lit with the sunlight peering through the windows on the left wall.

Harry has been prepping himself all weekend, pacing in his condominium talking aloud to himself. He has rehearsed his opening lines and introduction thousands of times, that he needn't think of it any longer. Speaking before his lecture hall came so naturally that all the different scenarios he imagined were tossed aside.

He was well into ten minutes of lecturing, going over the course syllabus and the breakdown of the term's grading structure when the heavy lecture door burst opened.

A young man with tousled hair and a tight fitting, deep burgundy suit stepped in empty handed, grinning as he scanned the faces of the students in the lecture hall.

"Oops." He finally said, looking over at Harry with a proud smile, both hands in the front pockets of his trousers.

"Hi." Harry replied. "Are you in- are you here for Queer Literature?"

"Yes, unfortunately." The student replied.

Harry frowned at the student's response, he motioned his hand over to empty seats in the upper right region of the hall.

"As I was saying, we will uh, be familiarizing ourselves with the works of Judith Butler in order to better grasp the contents of the novels we are going to read and analyze." Harry pause as he looked over to the new student. He was laying back with his feet perched atop the empty seat before him, grinning with a smug expression on his face.

"Excuse me sir, what's your name?" Harry asked.

"What do you want of me name?" The student replied challengingly.

Harry's adrenaline began to pump as he tried to maintain his calm composure. The lecture hall was now focused on their exchange.

"Feet down please." He glared at the student momentarily before looking back to the lecture hall. He was not one for confrontations and challenges. In fact, it never occurred to him that he may have to deal with such behavior. No, not at Oxford, where all the well-mannered and disciplined students attended.

Harry turned his attention back to hall where he went on to explain the first book they'll be reading, Orlando by Virginia Woolf. He spoke of the context avoiding the right side of him where the troubled student sat.

"Does anyone know what literary form it is written in?" Harry asked.

The hall was quiet with focused eyes staring at him. There was no stirring or motion in sight except the hesitant hand from a young frosted blonde student in the front row.

"Yes, uh you sir, your name?"

"I'm Niall." The student replied as his ivory skin flushed deep red, blood rushing to his face.

"And the answer Niall?"

"Is it allegory Professor?" His Irish accent accentuating the "Professor" bit.

"No, not quite." Harry responded. He smiled fondly at the student who braved the answer. His face completely flushed and beet red as he looked up through his thickly framed- round lenses with a nod at his failed attempt.

Harry's eyes darted around the hall scanning for hands, he looked to where the troubled student sat. Harry furrowed his eyebrows when he saw the student's feet still resting on the chair. He locked eyes with the student in a silent attempt to warn him. The student grinned back, raising both his eyebrows. "SATIRE!" He yelled out.

Harry stumbled back, startled at the raised voice.

Excellent, Harry thought. Pretentious, obnoxious and smart. The prefect combination for an untamed ego.

"Yes" Harry replied. He removed his glasses and placed them on his podium, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. He looked back up at the hall. "Yes, uh, it's set in satire. Well done Mr. –" He looked over to the student.

"I'm not telling you my name Professor." The student grinned manically.

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. He was not sure how to deal with the student's remark. He would come to know the student's name eventually but couldn't understand why he was giving him a hard time. His thoughts were disturbed when the lecture hall echoed with the blonde boy's Irish accent.

"Arite, quit yer yapping, nobody cares fer ya name mate." He looked over his shoulders to Louis who looked down at him with a smug look.

"Awww would you look at that; the Irishman standing up for the Professor"

 

"Are ya mad in yer head mate?" The boy shot back.

"Enough!" Harry snapped, "Stop it, the two of you." He looked up to where the troubled student was seated and pointed his finger at him. "If you speak again when you haven't been instructed to, you will be sent out of my classroom, do you understand?"

The student laid further back in his seat grinning. He shook his head side to side, laughing under his breath. His eyes locked with Harry's who was now sharply focused on him with a stern look.

"Whatever you say Harold." He crossed his feet that were still hanging on the back of the chair and folded his arms across his chest. Harry's eyes widened as he stepped forward in the direction of the student.

"It's Professor Styles to you."

"Yes, as you wish Styles" The student sighed and rolled his eyes, his smile now fading.

Harry turned back to lecture revisiting the literary styles and making his best efforts to avoid the student for the remaining twenty minutes.

Harry was definitely not prepared for this. His thoughts were already racing with different scenarios of confrontations that may occur later that night while laying bed. This anonymous student, whom Harry would learn of his name soon, was going to be a great burden on his hands.


	3. Chapter Two

Setting: Harry and Liam's office.

"Harry mate," Liam walked into the office, his hair still damp from his shower. "What are you doing at this late hour?"

"Liam," Harry responded looking up. "I uh, just marking the last bits of the essays yeah?"

"Harry, you collected these essays today. Don't you think you can wait a week before handing them back?"

"Perhaps." Harry removed his glasses and glanced up at Liam, whose sturdy figure was hovering over his desk.

Liam chuckled looking down at the younger man. "Harry, ever since your first day you have either exhausted yourself behind your desk or wasted hours staring at the fish tank in the lounge-"

"Heyyyyy-" Harry cut in, "I love the fish tank. They are like, all colourful and shiny and stuff."

"and stuff?" Liam laughed, "Harry, you belong to the English Department and that's the word of your choosing to describe fish?"

Harry clasped his hand over his mouth as he laughed. He locked eyes with Liam, whose smile was just as sincere.

"'m not perfect." Harry finally responded, elongating the 'perfect.'

Liam shrugged, "Some would beg to differ but why don't we work on getting you out more? I'm playing in the fundraiser match tomorrow, you fancy coming along? We can go for drinks later"

Harry lifted the stack of papers on his desk and shoved them into his briefcase, he looked back to Liam who was now walking to his own desk. "I'm going to be sitting alone then?" Harry asked from behind him.

"You sit alone here anyway don't you?"

Harry smirked, looking up at Liam who was now coming back from his desk. His bit his lower lip holding back his smile. "touché"

Liam smiled at Harry's response, lifting his hand and jiggling the stash of keys in his hand. "Anyway, I came back to get my car keys. Are you ready to leave now?"

"Yes 'm ready" Harry muttered, standing up promptly and following Liam out.

\------------------------------------

Setting: Niall's Dormitory

Niall has entered his room from dropping his load of wash in the shared laundry room. He is quickly reading over his emails when his phone, still connected to the charger starts buzzing against his nightstand. He sees his caller ID and smiles.

"Greg," He smiled into the phone, "ha ware ya brother?"

Niall's phone only rang when his parents or brother called. He hadn't made friends yet, just acquaintances from the neighboring rooms in his dormitory and some classes. It was his first year at Oxford and he has made promises not to disappoint his parents after they invested heavily in his expensive education. Niall was completing his undergraduate studies in a joint English-Economics Degree.

"m'right, hardworking is all." He replied into the phone. He stood from his chair and leaned towards the window pulling the curtains apart. He was looking out the window with one hand on his hip as Greg continued speaking.

Niall's laugh echoed through his tiny room as Greg recounted a story about their parent's argument over a misunderstanding.

"Mum fer ya." Niall replied. "and what about ya Greg, holdin' up arite are ya?"

There was some silence in the air as Niall tried to decipher the sounds coming from the other end.

"Greg?"

Greg cleared his throat and by the sound of his shaky voice, Niall knew he was crying.

"s'arite Greg, is gonna be arite, everything is arite yea?" Niall listened intently to his brother who was now slightly shouting at him.

"you needn't worry- I promise yer, no- no Greg- 'm not forgetting ya mate, you aren't-" Greg kept cutting him off.

"Greg, 'm not forgetting ya, me haven't friends, I ain't forgetting ya, ya- no Greg, yer me best mate ever." Niall struggled to speak over his brother as he sat down onto his bed, one hand lazily caressing the sheets beneath him.

"Greg, m' haven't got friends, got an enemy but not- 'm never forgetting ya."

"ya- ya." Niall laughed throwing his head back "'s lad in me class, done 'em no wrong. Always pickin at me and callin' me out ya?"

He sighed a deep breath. Hearing his brother laugh on the other end has eased his tension. He lay back onto his bed comfortably.

"Ya, English lad 'm suppose. Haven't no business in that class, just buggin' on the Professor and wastin 'is time. Course 's always throwing me stuff over when walkin' by."

Niall rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands, suddenly feeling exhausted. He continued chatting with his brother recounting the many times the troubled student had personally interfered with him while giving Professor Styles a hard time.


	4. Chapter Three

Setting: Oxford Stadium

Liam dragged Harry to the game and seated him front row in the VIP section as his plus 1. Harry, having taken no interest in the game has brought along his favorite novel, Maurice by Forster to read. Liam was on the field warming up when he caught Harry reading. He dashed over to the bleachers.

"Harry, put the book down. I brought you to watch the game and interact with society."

Harry's eyes snapped up quickly at Liam. He bit his bottom lip and looked at him apologetically.

"Sorry Liam, I'll watch, I promise, just when you like, actually start playing yeah?"

Liam smiled at him and grabbed his water, letting himself have a sip from Harry's bottle.

"Are you nervous?" Harry asked him.

"No, I'm never nervous" Liam pinched Harry's cheek causing him to blush.

"Right, uh, you must be excited then."

Liam placed one foot on the bleachers, his elbow resting on his knee and leaned in closer to Harry.

"Actually I'm a bit worried if I was being honest, gonna play against by boyfriend tonight."

"Your boyfriend?" Harry's eyes widened. He did not think Liam dated men. Then again, the proximity of their relationship was not intimate enough to discuss such personal topics. Their relationship consisted of chit chatting in the office about other Professors in the department while eating take-out.

"Yeah, my boyfriend, we played two years on the team together, it's how we met."

Liam's eyes scanned the field, searching for the number 9 Jersey.

"There he is, he pointed, number 9."

Harry turned to look in the direction Liam was pointing at. He can make out the dark features on the number 9 player, he has seen him in their office before but Harry assumed he was one of Liam's pupils. Harry's stare was interrupted when a second figure came into his peripheral vision, he did a quick scan of the number 17 player standing inches away from Liam's boyfriend.

"That shit head!" Harry exclaimed.

"Excuse me?" Liam retorted.

"No- sorry, not your boyfriend." He quickly added, "I'm talking about number 17, next to him."

"Louis?-"

"So that's his name?" Harry asked.

"Yes, do you know him?"

"Do I know him? Unfortunately, I teach the him."

Liam chuckled, dropping his foot to ground.

"I gather that he is not your favorite then?"

Harry shook his head, his eyebrows furrowed together.

"He's difficult." He looked up to Liam "He wouldn't tell me his name. And you know how it is with the online portal, you upload their marks according to their names but you never put faces to them until they come see you."

"Yeah" Liam exhaled loudly.

"I told them to drop off their essays in the mailbox, so I never saw him put it in. I told them to come get their papers after I finished grading them but only half came in."

"Well who's going to come collect their papers when the grades are up on their blackboards? It's nothing personal mate, I have piles of unclaimed work on my desk too."

Harry nodded in agreement, the crease between his eyebrows softening.

"I don't like it." He paused. "The new system I mean."

Liam chuckled and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"The world moves forward young Harry. We just gotta go along yeah."

Harry nodded again.

"He gives me so much trouble that Louis."

Liam smiled down at him.

"He gives everyone trouble."

Harry frowned deeper, looking more upset.

"But—I'll talk to him and tell him to take it easy on you yeah?"

"No- no." Harry's hand reached for Liam's elbow. "Don't Liam, I don't want him to think I'm going around talking about him. He'll think I'm weak."

Liam dropped his hand from Harry's shoulder and turned back to look to where his teammates were huddled up.

"I should get back Harry, help yourself to some snacks at concession if you get bored alright?"

Harry nodded as Liam jogged back onto the field.

\----------------------

Setting: Bar near Oxford campus

Liam and Harry are having drinks and discussing the dynamics of the game, which Harry was not too excited about it but he was really trying.

"I didn't think you could play so well."

"I hardly call standing at the goal post playing." Liam responded with a chuckle.

"Well, like catching the ball and stuff, you are good with that."

Liam smiled lifting his glass in the air.

"Well, to the Faculty win tonight."

Harry raised his glass to his.

"Cheers!" they said together.

A moment of silence filled the air as they both examined their surroundings and the people seated near them.

"So, why aren't you celebrating with your boyfriend then?" Harry asked.

"Uhh, he's out with the boys. It's tradition, you always stick to your teammates whether you win or lose. He might drop by though, I told him I'd be near the campus."

Harry smiled firmly looking down at his drink.

"I hope you don't mind." Liam cut in.

Harry raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "No, no. Not at all. I'd be happy to meet your boyfriend Liam."

"Cool, yeah. So uh, not many know about us. We've been discreet about it."

Harry swallowed his sip of wine and licked his bottom lip, playing with the round base of his glass.

"Is there, like a reason or you just don't want people to know yet?"

"No- no reason. I guess we just want to be sure of it ourselves before proceeding to share the news. Plus, being a Professor and he, a student, we just don't want to run into any trouble of the kind."

Harry nodded.

"I understand." He responded thickly, his lips smacking shut.

"So what about you? I've been with you for over a month and I feel like I know nothing about you yet-" Liam asked as Harry took another sip. "-Well besides the fact that you are a genius, the youngest Professor at Oxford and that your thesis is nominated for the Wobniar- Literary Award."

Harry can feel the blood rushing to his face.

"Uh, what about me?" He asked timidly.

"Well, for starters, are you.. you know? Gay? I assumed you were cause your teaching Queer Literature."

Harry rubbed the back of his neck feeling the length of his hair growing out. He hadn't cut his hair since taking his teaching post and it didn't look like he'd cut it anytime soon.

"I am just like, a lover yeah? I just love to love without limitations, but yeah, I guess I do like, prefer males more." He responded.

Liam grinned and raised his glass, "cheers to that!"

Their glasses smashed in unison as Liam's phone buzzed against the bar tabletop.

"Excuse me, just a second." He said reaching for his phone. It was a text message from Zayn.

On my way to McQueens with Lou, see you in 3 ; )

Liam texted back 'cool' before remembering the earlier exchange with Harry about Lou.

"Uh- Zayn's coming, my boyfriend. He is coming with Lou."

Harry's eyes widened frantically.

"No- no, I must go then. I can't be seen with a student of mine." He said while getting up to put on his jacket.

Liam grabbed his elbow halting him from proceeding further.

"Harry, mate, relax, no one is going to have a problem with it. You are having drinks, not giving him answers to a test."

Harry paused, looking at Liam as though he was considering his words.

"No- uh, I don't like him Liam. I don't think it will be a good idea."

"Harry, weren't the one saying you hated the new system because we can't get to know our students better? Well, here's your chance to meet one at least." Liam retorted.

"Uh, no, like, you don't understand Liam, he'd be like, the last one I'd even want to meet really." Harry forced his arm into the sleeve of his jacket, forcing Liam's hand away. His hands were on the back of his collar straightening it out when he heard a voice behind him causing him to jump.

"There's the lad of the match!!" Someone shouted. Harry stopped in his tracks and turned around to see Louis and Zayn pulling up to the booth were they were seated. Louis had taken Liam into an aggressive hug and Zayn stood back.

Liam held Louis back and motioned one hand towards Harry.

"Zayn, Louis, this is Harry."

Louis' eyebrow shot up in surprise as a grin spread from ear to ear. Harry was still standing with his jacket on, he offered his hand forward to shake Zayn's with a slight nod and retreated his hand back into his pocket.

"I was uh, I was just about to leave actually." Harry said while looking at Liam.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Louis shouted, "We only just got here."

"And that's exactly why he wants to leave," Liam said, looking slightly guilty and blaming the alcohol in his head, "because you're a real arse to him Lou."

Harry looked over to Louis' face that was now looking mildly confused with a bit of hurt. He has never seen the man's face express genuine feelings before.

"Uh, no, I just, I just got some work to do." He replied.

Zayn reached over to place a hand on Harry's shoulder with a squeeze.

"Please, why don't you just stay another 15 minutes with us? I would very much like to know who my boyfriend keeps bragging about." Zayn said.

"Boyfriend?" Louis shouted staring between the two.

Harry nodded at Zayn and sat back down, glad that the attention was taken off him as Louis pestered Zayn and Liam about their relationship.

Harry remained quiet, seated next to Zayn and across from Liam being extra careful not to look at Louis.

To be continued..


	5. Chapter Four

For Skye, thank you for your dedication and support. This chapter of love is dedicated to you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Setting: Bar continued...

Louis continued to interrogate Liam about the start of his relationship with Zayn calling him a sly snake for keeping it secret. Zayn and Harry listened to their interaction silently, each looking down at the coasters before them.

"So," Zayn started looking over at Harry seated next to him, "Liam tells me you are self-taught genius."

Harry blushed at the comment, pursing his lips together after swallowing what was left of his wine. The conversation between Liam and Louis seized, causing them both to look over at Harry.

Harry's eyebrows furrowed, knowing all eyes were now on him.

"That's very generous," he paused, "what Liam said about me."

"Don't act like it isn't true." Louis chimed in.

Harry's eyebrows drew in even closer, looking over at Louis for the first time that night.

How and what did Louis know about him, Harry thought.

He stared at the boy silently, his eyes growing darker.

Louis shrugged his shoulders, seeing they were all focused on him now. "I mean--- everyone knows that about him." He finally managed to say.

"No," Harry responded, shaking his head with a slight motion, "that's not true, my students don't know anything about me."

Louis glanced around the bar hoping to be distracted from the conversation. He felt relieved when he heard Zayn asking Harry whether he attended the game that day.

"Yeah, I was sittin' front row." Harry answered.

Louis looked back to Harry when he heard his response and realized Harry had been staring at him the entire time, his eyebrows still furrowed together. Louis was uneasy under his glare and could feel the heat rising to his face. He managed a weak smile at Harry who looked away when he couldn't reciprocate.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt you guys, can I get you anything to drink?" Asked the waitress who now placed glasses of water in front of Zayn and Louis.

"Yes!" Louis shouted, he looked over to Zayn, "we'll have a pint of your home brew." He looked over to Liam's glass, "another glass of whatever he was havin'- and," he looked down at Harry's wine glass, "another glass of wine for him, on my tap please." Louis instructed.

Harry extended his hand out to the waitress to draw her attention. "Not for me thanks, I'm actually just leaving." He told her.

"Okay, sure, so that's just 2 pints and a glass of Heineken." She jotted down. "I'll be right back with your orders then."

The waitress turned to leave as Harry slowly rose from his seat. He apologized to Zayn for having to leave early but promised they would meet under better circumstances. He thanked Liam for having invited him and said a mediocre good night to Louis whose hands where wrapped around his glass water as his eyes studied the contents with a disappointed look.

 

"Yeah, good night." Louis called out after him.

 

\--------------------

 

Setting: Liam's Townhouse

 

Liam has been fantasizing about the curves and dents that make up Zayn's abs from the moment he removed his jersey on the field.

 

Liam's eyes scanned down his torso, his lips thirsty for Zayn's skin. He was walking towards him on the field shirtless, looking down at his cleats. Liam removed his gloves, staring at the hot figure getting nearer pulling him into a hot, sweaty hug. "Liam babe," he whispered into his ear. He moved back to look Liam in the eyes, "I cannot stop thinking about you eating me out." Zayn's eyes were already half shut, his jaw slightly agape, looking into Liam's eyes with desperation. Liam bit his bottom lip and shook his head side to side slowly, feeling the heat rising down his tummy. "Fuckk.." He whispered. "Fuck Z, you're so fucking hot right now. I'm going to eat you out all night babe." He responded licking his bottom lip. Zayn walked backwards, still locking eyes with Liam, before turning back and running off to his teammates. Liam kept his eyes glued to Zayn's ass, biting down hard on his own lips.

 

Liam was now carrying Zayn to his bed. They had left Louis behind with the rest of the teammates that hopped to the same bar.

 

"Fuck Zayn, I couldn't stop thinking about how sexy you looked on the field earlier." Liam laid Zayn onto the bed, the pair now taking off their shoes.

 

"I can never take my eyes off you when you play. You're just so fucking fit and confident." Zayn grabbed the back of Liam's head with both hands and crashed his lips onto Liam's. "You're so good Liam, you're so good."

"Mmmm

"Mmmm.."Liam responded, one hand reaching under Zayn's head the other trailing down the front of his shirt running the tips of his fingers over the boy's rippled abdominal.

 

Liam tugged on the boy's jeans, zipping down the front and unbuttoning his jeans. "Off Zayn." He commended.

Zayn lifted his hips up kicking off his jeans and boxers. Liam pulled his shirt up over his head, unbuckled his belt and threw his pants off to the side of the bed. 

He can already feel the tightness in his boxers but he desperately wanted to please his boyfriend. He pressed down onto the bed and straddled him, pinning Zayn's hands by his head and sucking on the crease between his neck and shoulders. He shifted his body further down and pressed kisses against the boy's firm abs. He rolled his tongue over the curves and dents sucking on the hard muscles. 

Zayn's body squirmed restlessly under Liam's weight, he was moaning quietly with his arms still tight in Liam's grip. 

Liam's body shifted even lower, moving between the boy's legs. He placed his hands under the backside of Zayn's thighs and pushed his legs back into his body, kissing the inside of his thighs. He pressed his lips firmly against the boys hot skin and sucked wet kisses from his thighs and pelvis careful to avoid his already hard shaft. 

Liam lifted his body and crawled to the top of the bed, carefully grabbing Zayn's hand. 

"come here baby." He looked into Zayn's eyes with gloss covering his own, his eyes heavy and jaw agape. Zayn followed Liam's order moving further up the bed. Liam was now laying on his back. 

"Turn around." Liam said with a hand sliding down Zayn's thigh. Zayn turned his back to Liam and lifted his leg to straddle the older man's sides. He placed his hands on Liam's pelvis and inched backwards until his ass lined up with Liam's face. Liam held onto his cheeks with fingers widely spread, clenching as much flesh on the boy's bum as he dove onto his crease. 

Liam licked the entire length of his crack from his base to his back with thick tongue strips. He teased his tongue against the boy's rim licking the outside muscle tightly clenched and pulsating. He can hear Zayn's moaning increasing. Liam's tongue circled around Zayn's ring lubricating the outside entrance. 

"Ahhhh, fuckkk Li, want your tongue inside me now."

Liam pulled Zayn's cheeks further apart resting his nose on the boys crease as he pushed the tip of his tongue against the tight pink rim. He flicked the tip just past the entrance and rolled it in circles hitting all the walls. 

"mmmmmm fuckkk, yeahhh." Zayn's eyes rolled into the back of his head as Liam's tongue danced its way past his outer muscles and into his warm tight hole. He can feel Liam's tongue pushing with force trying to part the walls and move further inside. Liam continued to roll his tongue in circles before pulling out slowly and thrusting back inside, moving his tongue in and out. He pursed his lip against the boy's rim as he continued to fuck him with his tongue. 

The younger boy was now moving his hips in circular motions and back and forth onto Liam's face feeling the cold slick spit spread all over his flesh. Zayn and Liam can spend hours doing this but Zayn's throbbing cock can't hold in any longer, he brings his hand down to his long shaft and rubs it with the spit dripping down the backside of his base. He carefully rubs downwards on his cock starting from the base and twisting at the head. 

Liam picks up pace and moves in and out of Zayn's hole quicker his tongue sliding everywhere, occasionally missing the entrance. He can feel Zayn's muscle tensing as his breathing comes to a halt, the only sounds are of Liam's wet tongue prodding his hole and the quick jerks of his cock. Liam can see Zayn's spin curving, this is it, he is going to come. Liam's tongue moves so fast it feels like a vibration against his muscles. Zayn gasps, eyes shut, mouth hanging open as his entire body freezes when he shoots out hot cum all over Liam's pelvis and thighs. 

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh, fuckkkk." He moans loudly after cumming. "Fuck Liam. That was so good. You are so fuckin'good."


	6. Chapter Five

Setting: Harry and Liam's office

Harry sat at his desk, sorting through the papers and looking at the corresponding marks on his desktop computer. He let out a heavy sigh and sat back in his seat.

So Louis Tomlinson is my straight A student, is he? He thought to himself. How did he ever come to know about me being a genius? He tapped the end of his pen on his desk as his thoughts wandered. Why does he even care, I mean, especially being the kind of disrespectful person he is. I can't believe he is my straight A student. Who would've thought that? I like Niall. Niall is my favorite student- not the brightest but surely my favorite.

\--------

Setting: Louis' dormitory

Louis wakes up the morning after the bar. He is mildly hungover and disappointed with how the events unraveled the previous night.

Fuck. He thinks. Fuck, now Harry will think I stalk him or care about him. Why did I ever admit to knowing about him being a fucking smart cunt. Wait--- why the fuck was he so rude about it? Who does this young-look-at-me-I'm-a-hot-shot-professor think he is? That twat. Thinks he is better than everyone else. Well if his ego is built on just that than I'm going to show him what a REAL smart ass I can be —ugh this headache, fuck—what did I drink?

Louis turns onto his stomach and pulls the pillow over his head blocking out the sunlight that is now peering through his light curtains.

I don't even know why he is always sucking up to the Irish cunt. He isn't even smart, handsome or talented in any way.

Louis groins loudly, pounding his fists into his bed.

I'm starving. I don't even have money for food this week. Fuck—gotta get by somehow. I hope Zayn brings snacks to practice. Fuck—practice is going to build up an appetite-I don't like how close this Niall kid is getting to Harry. I'm going to.. no, that's desperate. Fine- Fine! I'll try to be nice this week. Ughhh, this headache.

Louis rolls off the bed and heads to the washroom.

\--------

Setting: Harry and Liam's office

Harry stops tapping his pen. He places his elbows on his desk and holds his hands to each side of his temples. He is deep in his thoughts about the night before when he is interrupted by Liam walking in.

"Alright there, Harry?" he asks.

"Yeah, uh, just fine, thank you Liam." He responds

Harry clears his throats.

"Umm, actually Liam," He looks up to where Liam is now standing behind his desk. "Louis Tomlinson is my top student." Harry smiles not realizing he is happy relating this information Liam.

Why am I smiling? I hate the bastard.

Liam let out a little chuckle. "That he is, Harry. He has always been a top student. Hence, his full scholarship and bursaries."

Liam sat down at his desk, "you are probably his biggest competition now"

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "Me? Competition?"

Liam threw his head back and laughed reassuringly. "Lou loves competition. He wants to be the best at everything. You being a genius is not helping his case"

"But I'm his professor- I, I am not competing with my students, um, I don't – what do I do Liam?"

Liam paused to smile at the flustered young boy. "Harry, just pullin' ya leg. Don't worry about him, he will get over it."

"Oh..." Harry looks down squinting, trying to make sense of what just happened.

\---------

Setting: Louis dormitory

Louis stumbles back into his room after taking a wee. He collapses on his bed and reaches for his phone. He slightly panics when there is 5 missed calls from his mother and 2 from Fizzy. It is not common for them to call more than once when he doesn't answer. Louis frantically presses the call button pressing his ear to the speaker.

"Mum—what happened-what's going on?"

He can hear several voices in the background, his mom sounding weepy when answering his call.

"Oh Louis—it's your granddaddy love—Keith passed away late in the night."

"Is- Are you all- I'm on way home mum." Louis ended the call, quickly pulling his sweater and his backpack before heading out the door.


	7. Character Introduction

Before I proceed further with the story line, I would like to introduce my characters and their roles. If any of you have questions to be asked, kindly leave feedback and I will answer to your queries at my earliest. 

First off, I could not leave Zayn out. It doesn't seem right to have Liam in a plot without Zayn. Zayn provides more roundness and room to play with in the plot. So here's to Zayn! *raises glass* 

\-------

Professor Harry Edward Styles: 1st year Professor of Queer Literature/ Previously an outstanding student at Oxford. 

Harry is a timid and introverted Professor who lives alone in a condo unit. Harry's life (like his hair) is constantly changing and he is always running trying to keep up with it.

\------

Professor Liam James Payne: 1st year Professor of Medieval Literature- Previously on the Oxford's men futball team

Professor Liam James Payne: 1st year Professor of Medieval Literature- Previously on the Oxford's men futball team.

Liam is an outspoken and cheerful Professor, he lives alone in a townhouse complex by campus. Liam enjoys good company of friends, smoking and not taking every aspect of life seriously.

Liam enjoys good company of friends, smoking and not taking every aspect of life seriously

\-------

Louis Tomlinson: Student Athlete (futball) at Oxford- 3rd year in the Law program.

Louis is a short-tempered and stubborn student with dapper style. He gives off a look of being wealthy and prestige. No one really knows about his upbringing or wealth. Louis lives alone in student dormitory. 

\-------

Zayn Malik: Student Athlete (futball) at Oxford- 2nd year in Sound Engineering - Music joint program

Zayn is a gentle and soft-spoken student, he is a dedicated athlete and boyfriend to Liam. Zayn lives off-campus with his family and spends some nights with Liam in his townhouse.

Zayn lives off-campus with his family and spends some nights with Liam in his townhouse

\-----

Niall Horan: 1st year student- Major in English- Economics and Minor in Music. 

Niall is a cheerful and easy-going student, he struggles to fit in but when he does, there's no denying he is the life of any party. Niall lives in student dormitory alone.

Niall lives in student dormitory alone


	8. Chapter Six

Setting: Louis' family home in Doncaster

"I just- I just don't know how –" Johannah (Jo) shook her head as she slid the cup of tea across the counter to Louis, "don't how I am to afford the funeral costs." She crossed her arms and bit on her bottom lip, now trembling.

"Mum-" Louis placed a hand on her arm, "It'll be fine, I'm sure we can manage."

"No Boo Bear." She shook her head, "it's very expensive, funerals. I barely have enough for groceries and diapers this month." She forced a quick smile and turned back, moving to the stove.

"Mum-" Louis paused, "why didn't you tell me? Why don't you ever tell me when things need to be picked up round here?"

Jo shook her head side to side, her back still to Louis, stirring a pot. "Not much you can do Boo Bear," she sniffled.

"Course there is," Louis placed his mug back on the counter after taking a cautious sip. "Listen, I'll use my scholarship funds to pay for granddaddy's funeral—"

"No!" His mother cut in, "absolutely not, sweetums, I can't let you do that. You need that for your housing and food and equipment. I couldn't let you do that."

"Mum—I already have my equipment, how many times a year you reckon we buy equipment? Besides, I can use what's left of my bursaries to pay for food and I can just room up with a friend to save on residence fees."

Jo shook her head, turning to look at Louis. She placed a hand over his. "Darling, I can't. That's too much to ask of you." Louis placed his other hand on top of hers. "Mum—I'm not asking you, I'm telling you, I need to do this, we haven't any other options."

Jo lifted her apron to her eyes and wiped at the tears now streaming down her face. Louis went around the counter and took her into his arms.

"it's okay mum. We will make it work. I promise you." He kissed his mother on the forehead and held her tightly.

"Oh Louis," she cried, "we'd never be here, we wouldn't be living like this if –"

"Mum shhh- it's okay, that doesn't matter now."

\--------------

 

Setting: Intermediate Music Class

Niall sat in the back corner as usual. He watched as the other students piled in. Niall was always excited for his music class. A special someone has caught his eye and seeing the lad gave him butterflies every time. Niall had more reason to be excited today knowing that the class would split up into pairs for their music mid-term. He was certain that he would pair up with his crush because his crush could only sing. The mid-term project required singing and instrument playing. They would have to create a song together. Niall was certain that his crush would be without a pair since he always kept to himself.

'Ope he's coming in today. He thought. Ugh, maybe 'm being unreasonable, what's ter become of this project 'nyway? It'd be an excuse to talk- s'at least. 'M gettin' me hopes up for-'

Niall's thoughts were interrupted as Zayn walked into the classroom. His slim figure was draped with a long sleeved black shirt, rolled up to his forearms. His stubble slowly growing in, accentuating his prominent cheekbones and jaw line that drove Niall insane. Niall wasn't one for tattoos but he admired the scattered sketches on the boy's forearms. He would spend the remainder of the lecture sneaking looks at the mysterious, handsome lad in the opposite back side corner.

\----Few minutes later---

The Professor instructed the students of the breakdown structure of evaluation on the song the pairs are to create. Each pair is to pick a period of music and write their own song reflecting a major context of history during the period of their choosing. Once the Professor said go, the students were up, shuffling around the room, picking out their pairs. Niall immediately looked to Zayn who was busy typing on his phone.

'This is it.' Niall thought. 'm not getting another chance. Okay, 'ere I go. Okay, now I'll get up. Me body ain't responding. Fuck. Up!'

Niall walked over to Zayn who immediately looked up from his phone when he sensed someone in his peripheral vision. Zayn smiled at Niall. Niall's face flushed red. Fuck. He was now more nervous than when he started his walk over. How is he more handsome up close?

"Hi—em, wud ya like to pair up then?" Niall asked nervously.

Zayn's smile grew wider hearing the Irish accent.

"I don't play, I just sing." He responded.

"ya, I know that, I play, no worries mate." Oh great! Now Zayn will think I pay enough attention to him to know he only sings. Well. He is the best in the class, it would be undeniable if one didn't notice.

"Yeah.. okay." Zayn responded with a quick nod. "I want to get started tonight though, just jot down some ideas about time periods and the genre of the song."

Niall's nerves were now taking over his ability to respond. He stood there with his mouth agape and red face looking at Zayn.

"Al right then," Zayn chuckled. "Umm, we can go to my boyfriend's place, he lives close to campus."

Niall nervous were set aside as feelings of hurt and confusion took over.

Wait, Zayn was actually gay? I mean... I was hopin' he was. But he really is? And boyfriend? He's got a boyfriend? Course, he's got a boyfriend, fuck. Look at 'im. How could he not have a boyfriend? Uh this was a bad idea. Why am I feeling hurt? I wasn't even datin' the lad. Stop. Why is this crushin' me soul?

Niall snapped out of his thoughts to respond to Zayn who was now raising an eyebrow waiting on his response.

"Yeah sure, yeah, we can start tonight."

"Great, so after we get dismissed, would you like to come with me? I just gotta pick up the keys from him and we can go straight there." Zayn asked.

"Sure yeah, I reckon there will be all the paper and pens we need in the house yeah?" Niall tried to laugh, shaking off the tension from earlier. Wow, could I 'ave possibly said 'nything more embarrassin' an nonsensical? 

Zayn smiled awkwardly at the Irish boy, "yeah, there is paper and plenty of pens."

 

Setting: Harry and Liam's office

Zayn led Niall to his car parked outside the Music Department. The pair dropped off their bags and drove around the cul de sac to the English Department.

"You want to wait in the car or come with me?" Zayn asked.

"Oh ya, I'll come with ya." Shit, I could've said no. He thought to himself. Just keep addin to the heartache. This is a great day.

Niall thrust his hands into his front pockets, desperately trying to act cool. He walked into the department with Zayn by his side.

He walked into the department with Zayn by his side

Inside the office:

Liam and Harry are discussing the aquarium in the staff lounge when Niall and Zayn walked in.

"I don't know Harry, I really don't keep up with who feeds the fish mate." 

The door swung open with Zayn making his way inside. Liam looked to him with a smile spreading on his face. 

"What a pleasant surprise. What brings you here babe?" Liam asked his boyfriend.

"-Professor Styles?" Niall asked confusedly. 

"Oh hi, hi Niall." Harry replied. "Um, did you, like come to see me about something then?"

"No, he is here with me." Zayn cut in, he looked back to Liam, "we are working on a music project together, and uh, I was wondering if we could work at your place- you know, it's crowded at home.." 

Liam stood up walking over to Zayn, his smile still wide and beaming. 

"Course you can, you never need to ask babe." He pulled his boyfriend in, sucking a sweet kiss from his lips. 

Harry cleared his throat, adjusted his tie and looked to Niall who looked equally uncomfortable. 

"Hi...hi Niall." He said again. 

Niall lifted his hand and waved at him, pressing his lips together. This is not how he thought his day out pan out. If the heartbreak wasn't enough and finding out that Zayn's boyfriend is a goddamn professor wasn't enough than surely being witness to a REALLY hot kiss could bring this cursed day to an end. 

"Nice office you got 'ere Professor." Niall nodded at Harry, the two awkwardly exchanging blank looks. 

"Oh babe, now that you're here, Harry was asking about Louis earlier," Liam placed a hand on Zayn's back, looking towards Harry. 

Harry felt himself blush at the mention of his student's name. He had forgotten he is in the presence of Louis' best friend. 

"yeah, cool, what about him then?" Zayn asked looking at Harry. 

"Right, he hasn't been in class all week, I was just um," He pressed his lips together, "I was just wondering if you knew where he is." 

"His grandpa passed away last weekend, the night we were all hanging, that's all I've been told." he replied.

"You should check up on him babe," Liam said pressing a kiss to Zayn's head. 

"Oh, that's tragic. I didn't- I didn't know. I'm sorry for the loss." Harry replied. 

Zayn chuckled at Harry response. "Maybe you'd like to say that to him? It was his loss after all." 

"Is that the same Louis from our class?" Niall asked.

"Yeah, it's Louis Tomlinson." Harry responded, accentuating the consonants in the boy's last name. 

"Louis Tomlinson is also upset with the way you walked out that night." Zayn shot. Niall looked between the pair trying to understand what was being related. Did they all hang out? he thought to himself. Liam looked as lost and confused as Niall, both waiting on Harry's response. 

"Um.. I had to leave," Harry responded, "no reason to be upset." 

"Maybe you should also tell that to Louis Tomlinson." Zayn mimicked. 

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, growing very uncomfortable in the situation. He was not sure why Zayn was being hostile. Is that what it is? hostile? Or maybe just suggestive? Wait.. is he being sensitive about this? Oh nevermind. 

"He is one ter be upset." Niall said. Three pairs of eyes were now on him. He was already flushed from being in close proximity to Zayn, he couldn't possibly blush more. "I mean, if ya see the way he is an' all with Professor Styles, ya wouldn't think he'd 'ave that right." 

"Harry- call me Harry." Harry responded. "And thank you Niall." 

"Is he still bothersome?" Liam asked.

"Well, like not this week, he hasn't been here." Harry pointed out. 

"Right, right." Liam turned back to his desk and grabbed the batch of keys held together by a Manchester United key chain. He spun his house key off the ring handing it to Zayn. 

"Here you go babe. All yours. Maybe if you boys are down we can all hang out at my place when you're done. I will bring Harry here, and some snacks." Liam said. 

Zayn was silent except for the kiss he planted on his boyfriend's lips. Harry turned his attention to the papers on the desk, desperate to escape the conversation. Niall fidgeted with his feet before looking up to Liam, who was already looking at him, waiting on his response. 

"It's okay for Professors and students to hang then?" Niall asked. He regretted his response. He could have offered a kind refusal, claiming to have work or something. This day couldn't possibly drag on longer. He is now tied down for a long night ahead with his Professor, his crush and his boyfriend.

Liam laughed and pulled Zayn in closer. "Hang? You can bang too if you'd like." He winked at the young boy who instantly turned his head to Harry. Harry looked up, pushed his glasses further up and wriggled his nose. His lips were pierced tightly together. Harry dreaded having this evening as much as Niall did but at least he was hanging out with Niall, his favourite student. 

"Al right then," Niall managed to say, "I'll pick up some beers fer the evenin'" 

"Now that's a good lad." Liam said approvingly, pointing at Niall. 

He smiled at Liam's gesture. He isn't too bad after all, Niall thought. He did like his carefree persona. A cool Professor. Nothing like Harry. Maybe he could be good friends with Liam. He needed friends anyway.

Zayn nodded at Liam and turned to say good bye to Harry. Harry waved at the pair and returned to his pile of work. 

"I know what you are thinking Harry and don't even try with the excuses. It's Friday night. You can use some social time."

Harry didn't respond. He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. He looked up at Liam and smiled, nodding his head in agreement.


	9. Chapter Seven

Setting: Liam's townhouse

Zayn and Niall have settled into the small cozy home, having had small conversation talk in the car on their way over. The pair have elected the Jazz era as their pretext for the song. They were well on their way to planning the coming weeks of practice, rehearsal and recording.

"It's a nice place." Niall remarks, looking around approvingly. Certainly nothing I could have offered you at this time. He thinks to himself.

"Yeah, uh thanks." Zayn replied. "Are you okay though mate? You've been sitting all shriveled up, do I make you nervous or something?" He smirked.

Niall blushed. He was still getting used to talking to his crush nevermind sitting on a sofa with him for hours.

"A tad bit ya." He responded.

Zayn reached out and pinched the young boy's cheek, making him blush harder. 

"Don't be, I'm just another simple lad." He stood up and walked to the fireplace grabbing the remote off the mantle and sat back down. He turned on the TV and started flipping through channels. 

"So Niall, " Zayn paused, hesitating to continue, "I don't mean to be so forward but are you gay?" he asked him with his eyes glued to the screen.

If Niall wasn't uncomfortable earlier, he was now. 

His head turned to Zayn, synchronizing with him. Their eyes met. 

"'m gay, ya." --"how'd ya figure?"

Zayn nodded and looked away to the TV screen. 

"It takes one to know one don't it?" He chuckled under his breath. 

"suppose so." 

"So.. is that why you are always looking at me in class?" Zayn asked.

 

"Don't know what you talkin' bout mate."

"You do, Niall, you do."

"If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about this."

Zayn smiled wide. "Didn't mean to intimidate you, I'd probably date you if I weren't with Liam, thought I'd just put that out there."

Niall blushed as he shook his head. "um, yeah thanks Zayn. Let's just go get the beers ya?"

\---------

 

Character Monologue- Louis at home

Thinking to himself: 

I should probably head back to school tonight- figure out where to put my clothes, where to sleep at night. Fuck, this is too much stress... just another 6 months.. I can get a summer job for next year's saving, should help me stay in school.. He clenched his jaw tightly together.. Okay... it could be worse.. it is what it is . 

Louis tossed around in the bed, chewing on his bottom lip, going over the same thoughts of how to work out his affairs for the months to come. 

\--------------

Setting: Liam and Harry's office

"What did you say that lad's name is, that ran off with my boyfriend?" Liam asked.

"Niall." Harry responded without looking up from the papers on his desk. "He didn't run off with your boyfriend Li, you gave them permission."

"Yeah, yeah." Liam tapped his pen against his desk. Harry looked up and removed his glasses.

"What?"

"Nothing, it just that I sensed something about him- is all."

"Like what?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows together, looking more serious.

"I think he may like my boyfriend."

"That's what you sensed?" He paused. "Li, not to insult your intelligence, but like-- How did you sense that when you only exchanged one word with the lad?"

"Harry, it's not the words that make it count, its precisely the lack of words and the intuition." Liam paused, looking around the room. 

Harry rolled his eyes. "Sure, my student likes your boyfriend Liam."

"Come over tonight, I can't have them be alone."

"Nope"

"Harry! You do too many favours for you to deny me"

"Not coming Li, I'm not up for hanging with my students."

"Harry, my heart is breaking. I've already imagined 60 different scenarios of what they may be doing right now. PLEASEEE?"

"I thought you trust you Zayn?"

"I do, its the boy, I don't"

"Well, I trust the boy."

"Great, since you trust him, you wont have a problem joining us."

Harry remained silent, purposely ignoring Liam.

"Good, let's wrap it up then and head home, it's almost 7."

Harry removed his glasses to wipe at his eyes. He give Liam a stern and displeased look.

\-----------------

Setting: Liam's townhouse

"I can't believe you bought 3 boxes. We are not throwing a frat party." Liam said.

"I told him- wouldn't listen." Zayn chimed in. 

"'M Irish, guaranteed 2 out of 3 boxes will be in 'ere tonight." He rubbed at his tummy and winked. He was already on his second can of beer and it was helping him feel loose. 

"Harry, would you like a T-shirt and some sweats?" Zayn asked him.

"Um, yeah sure actually, that would be great."

"I just put a fresh basket of T-shirts out by me bed Zayn, the joggers in the closet." Liam instructed.

"Okay- babe, I'll bring it to him."

"So Niall- um, how do you like my class so far?" Harry asked sitting down next to Niall on the couch. 

"Oh -- 's great Professor!"

"HARRYYYY!!!" Liam shouted. "No class talk!! What did we agree on you pitiful nerd you!" Harry sunk in the couch looking intimidated. He pouted his lips. "And you, Nialler, do NOT call him Professor here!" 

Zayn's laughed echoed from upstairs having heard the conversation downstairs, he was coming down the stair case with the change of clothes in his hands.

"Can you believe these two?" Liam asked him. Harry looked to Niall and tried to hide a guilty smile. They both laughed and brought their cans to cheers one another. 

"Here ya go Harry."

"You can change in the washroom or the guest room just to the left down the hall." Liam said.

"Thank you Zayn." Harry carefully took the articles of clothing and went to the guest room to change. 

"Did you call Louis to see if he's al right babe?" Liam asked Zayn.

Zayn's eyebrows shot up. "Shit! Thanks for reminding me." He pulled his phone out and placed it on the kitchen island, hitting the speaker button while pouring the beer from the can into a glass. 

The phone rang 3 times before Louis answered. 

"Zayn, 'ey mate. Was about to call you actually." Louis said. 

"Were you? Everything al right then?" 

"Yeah, noo, everything is fine. 'M actually on the train on me way back to Oxford now. Was wondering if I could see you tonight."

"Louis!!" Liam yelled from the couch he was leaning up against. He walked over to the island. 

"Hey Liam, al right mate?" Louis answered.

"Missing you, we are all hanging out at my place tonight. Join us, will you?" 

"Uhh.. sure yeah, I'll think about Liam, just have a lot on me mind. A lot of things to take care of there."

"Oh rubbish Lou, you got all weekend to take care of things. You want to see Zayn tonight, you are going to have to come 'ere for that mate."

Zayn smiled at Liam. He knew what Liam meant by that. He'd want Zayn to sleep over tonight. Zayn was already starting to feeling giddy inside, heat running through his body, thinking about his drunk boyfriend thrusting inside him, holding onto the head board. 

"al right, 'm on me way now. Should be there in 40 minutes or so." Louis responded. 

"Okay Lou, see you soon mate." Zayn spoke into the phone, taking Louis off speaker and bringing the phone to his ear. "Safe ride mate, yeah, okay, bye then." He hung up.

Harry walked into the kitchen that opened up to the living room space. Liam and Niall were on the couches and Zayn was just walking over with his glass. 

"cute outfit Harry." Zayn winked smacking his ass. Harry flinched at Zayn's hand , surprised at the action. 

"Okay, here's your controller." Liam handed a controller to Niall. "Zayn, can you be a sweetheart and bring us the shot glasses and the bottle of vodka from the kitchen?" 

Zayn nodded, placed his glass on the table and walked back to the kitchen. 

"Okay lads, so here's what we are going to do. Zayn and Harry, one team, Nialler and I a team. When your partner loses a ball, gets a penalty, or gets scored against, you will need to take a shot. If you score a goal, opposing team, one shot, winning team, both take two shots." 

"Fuck, that's a lot of shots!" Niall responded. 

"Then you slow down on the beer." Liam retorted. 

"Zayn, tell me you are good at this." Harry asked him looking back from the couch to the kitchen. 

"Harry," Zayn paused, returning to the living room. The guest room is all yours because truthfully, I'm shit at this game."

Liam and Niall laughed at his response, Harry sinking further into his seat looking terrified. 

"Okay, which one of you is like- amazing at this?" Harry asked looking at the other two. 

"No Harry, we aren't switching. Rules and teams already in place mate." Liam responded patting his shoulder. 

"'s al right, I won't tell the class." Niall said patting his other shoulder. 

To be continued.


	10. Chapter Eight

Setting: Liam's Townhouse

An hour has passed since the boys have begun their FIFA drinking game. Zayn having faced Niall in the first round has played so terribly that his drinking partner Harry is tipsy by the time he gets his chance to play. Zayn is in no better condition having learned that tipsy Harry is absolute shit at navigating with a game console controller. Zayn and Harry are ultimately headed for the worst hangover when a knock disrupts their mindless conversation about street meat.

"Can you get that Zayn?" Liam asks.

"It's me favourite matey Lou, I just know it." Zayn drunkingly sing-songs. He staggers towards the door as Harry looks wide-eyed at Liam. 

"Al right there Harry?" Liam asks him.

"You never told me Louis is coming." 

"Harry, it just happened an hour ago, relax, he won't bite ya."

Niall stood up, watching as Zayn greeted Louis with a hug. Louis looked over to the living room area spotting Niall who nodded at him with smile. Louis looked less than amused and nodding in response. 

"Hey ya Liam." Louis waved from a distance to Liam who was now walking towards him. He took him in a long hug, patting his back reassuringly. "I'm sorry for your loss Lou."

"Ah thanks, Liam." Lou patted him back. 

Louis looked up at the figure now struggling to walk up next to Liam. It was a drunken Harry with a smile on his face. He came and stood next to Liam, staring silently at Louis. 

Liam placed an arm around Harry's shoulder, steadying his upright position.

"Harry, did you want to say something to Louis?" Liam asked him. 

Harry shook his head side to side, still smiling at Louis. 

"HI LOU!" He said loudly. Louis' eyebrows flew up in surprise. Looks like Professor Harry has figured out his name and even adopted a nickname for him. 

"Hey." Louis pressed his lips together in a smile and looked down, breaking away from Harry's drunk glare.

"Niall, I think you should play Louis next. I don't think Harry and I can hold it any longer." Zayn staggered back to the couch flinging his body down. 

"Ya, sure mate."

"Umm. Actually Zayn, I came to talk to you. Mind if we go for a quick fag outside?" 

Liam led Harry back to the couch as Zayn got back up to retrieve his box of cigarettes from the kitchen counter. The duo stepped outside, idling in the front yard. 

"First off, who invited the Irish?" Louis asked. 

"I did-- well, Liam actually."

"And why did Harry introduce you to him in particular?"

"Mmm... wait- what? Harry didn't introduce us to Niall. I met Niall myself. I have a class with him."

Louis squinted, looking at Zayn sharply as if trying to detect lies. 

"There's nothing to be jealous of Louis, relax." 

"I don't like the Irish."

Zayn rolled his eyes. "He's actually a great lad, what's your problem with him?"

"He's a suck up, that's my problem. Teacher's pet is what he is."

"And that bothers you because?"

Louis exhaled his smoke, thinking of an answer.

"It doesn't."

Zayn smirked, flicking the end of the cigarette. "Sounds like someone may be obsessive over Professor Harry."

Louis slapped his arm, shooting him a dirty look. "Don't!" He warned.

"So what's second?" Zayn asked him. 

Louis thought about the reason why he came to see Zayn. He was not sure if he wanted to confide in him any longer. He contemplated the matter feeling rather vulnerable about the subject and decided to withhold the decision to tell Zayn. 

"Secondly, when is our next practice?"

Zayn frowned, leaning his weight back onto his heels. 

"You came all this way to ask when our next practice is?" 

"Well, yes, no, I mean, I just missed ya. Wanted to see you."

Zayn laughed wrapping his arm around Louis' waist and shoulder, taking him into a hug. "Well, why didn't you say so from the start you ol' hag. Let's go inside, you gotta play this drinking game and catch up. Harry sucks so much, I'm only one hour in and feel like I've downed a keg of Vodka."

Louis smile and nodded. "As long as I'm not partners with Irish, sure."

Zayn looked back at him shaking his head. "let it go mate."

Louis pushed him from behind as they entered back into the house. 

\-------------------------

\-------------------------

"M not playin' any more." Harry muttered. He sat next to Liam on the love seat. Louis and Zayn settled next to Niall on the three-seater. Louis made an effort to look even less amused as he took a seat next to Niall who smiled at him, red faced from the alcohol. 

"Louis and Zayn can be a team then." Liam said. "Can you handle some more babe?" 

"just a bit more." Zayn groaned. Liam pouted his lip at his boyfriend, he looked to Harry who was now sprawled next to him looking like he is about to pass out. 

"Hanging in there Harry?" He asked him.

Harry gave him thumbs up, eyes focused on the ceiling. 

"Al right then," Liam raised his left eyebrow as Harry began counting the specks on the ceiling. He turned back to Louis. "Let's play Louis." 

Liam and Louis continued to play 3 matches as Zayn and Harry began to drift deeper into their drunken state. Niall was still drinking his beer, cheering the boys on, giggling and occasionally providing commentary.

"The cow jumped over the moon." Harry sang to himself. 

Louis quickly glanced at Harry. Harry was starting to look less like an adult and more like a needy child. He was still pointing at the ceiling but singing instead of counting. Louis paused his controller.

"Here, continue." He passed his controller to Niall. 

"Has Harry drank any water?" Louis asked getting up from the couch. 

"Harry?" Liam asked looking down at him.

Harry shook his head from side to side, not responding. 

"Don't look it." Liam replied. 

"Jesus Christ. You're going to get a lightweight drunk, at least keep him hydrated." Louis yelled out as he walked to the kitchen.

"'M not lightweight. 'M not drunk." Harry yelled back. Niall snorted and laughed at Harry's slurred response.

Louis didn't answer, he rolled his eyes as he pulled a glass from the cupboard. Harry got up from his seat and walked towards the kitchen. "What are you doing?" Louis asked him, watching him struggle to keep his body upright. "Harry go sit down, I'm bringing you water." 

"'M not drunk!!" He yelled. Liam and Zayn turned back to look, alarmed at Harry's raised voice. 

"Okay, okay, you aren't drunk but let's walk back to sit okay?" Louis turned off the tap and walked towards Harry with the filled glass in one hand, he put his other arm around Harry's waist leading him back to the couch. 

"Babe," Zayn smiled at Liam with droopy eyes, he patted the seat next to him. "Come sit next to me." Liam winked at him and stood up as Louis helped Harry sit back down. Louis looked over to Zayn, sensing his ploy. Zayn winked at him and turned his attention to his boyfriend now sitting next to him.

To be continued...


	11. Chapter Nine

Dedicated to the wonderful Skye. May you find the strength and courage to fight your battles and everyday struggles and overcome them with positive achievements. ~

Liam and Niall continued to play without the shots. Zayn was already asleep, leaning against Liam's warm body. Louis sat next to Harry helping him to drink and replenish his body. 

"Liam, I'm taking Harry to the guest room. He is passing out on me." Louis looked down at Harry who was peacefully asleep laying back on the sofa. 

"Yeah, I should take Zayn up to the bedroom too." He responded. He paused the game and looked at Niall. "Nialler, you can sleep here or the guest room my friend." He patted his back and got up. 

Louis frowned at Liam's options to offer the guest room. He secretly hoped Niall would settle for the sofa.

"'s al right, don't want word spreadin' that I slept in the same bed as Professor." He slurred. Liam laughed and placed an arm under Zayn's knees, the other around his back and lifted him up. "Okay, let me put Zayn to bed and then I'll bring down the pillows and duvet for you." He told Niall. 

Liam walked out as Louis tried to shake Harry back to consciousness. "Harry, common, let's take you to bed." Louis whispered. Harry struggled to look at Louis with glazed over eyes and droopy lids. "common, let me take you to bed okay?" Harry slowly nodded his head. 

Louis pulled Harry up and walked him down to the guest room with his arm around Harry's waist. "Do you need to wee before bed?" Louis asked. Harry bobbed his head forward causing the curls to cover his face. "Okay, let's go to the loo then." 

Louis led Harry to the toilet. "Best to sit down and wee." Louis told him.

He stood outside the door waiting for Harry to finish. Louis waited to hear Harry stirring but there were no movements. He shuffled from foot to foot, getting impatient. 2 minutes. He knocked on the door. 

"Harry are you done in there?" Louis could hear Liam back in the living room with Niall, handing him the covers and some track pants to sleep in. That was Liam, always thoughtful and hospitable.

Louis knocked again. "Harry, I'm going to come in." No stirring. Louis turned the door handle and peeked inside to find Harry passed out on the toilet with his head against the sliding door to the shower. 

"Oh for fucks sake." He muttered under his breath. Louis went inside and shook Harry. "Harry, can you please get up and pull up your clothes?" Louis could not get himself to look down there. Harry's eyes rolled back as he groaned. "Harry!" Louis shoved his shoulder again. "Harry!" Harry did not respond. 

"Fuckin' great way to end this shitty week." Louis put his arms under Harry's pits forcing him to stand up. He placed an arm around Harry's waist as he reached down to pull Harry's briefs and joggers up. Good thing I have years of training doing this to my younger siblings. Louis thought. He placed Harry's arm around his neck and placed his own arm around the younger boy's waist leading him into the guest room. 

~~~

Liam went back upstairs to his bedroom. He turned the lights off and fell onto the bed, pressing his body up against his boyfriend. He placed an arm around Zayn's waist. He felt the boy twitch and move. Zayn's body started to turn to face Liam. 

Liam leaned in to kiss Zayn's cheeks in the darkness. "Zayn?" Liam called out. "Babe are you crying?" He reached backwards with one hand and turned the lamp on. "Zayn, why are you crying?" He pulled Zayn's body in closer, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Talk to me. Did I do something?" Zayn shook his head. 

"I can't do this any more." Zayn replied shakily." Liam's heart dropped at the response. Was Zayn breaking up with him? Did Zayn not love him? Did Liam not realize this? What is happening? 

"Zayn, what do you mean you can't do this any more?" Liam asked firmly. 

"I can't keep hiding this from me family Li, it's hard." He cried. Liam's heart slowed its rhythm as he breathe a sigh of relief. "I just want to be able to tell them, live with you. I want to be married one day but I want them there too."

"Liam's grip tightened against Zayn, holding him closer and kissing his forehead. "You will tell them one day, I promise you. No matter what, I will be here to support you always." 

Zayn shook his head, still tearing up. "You don't understand Li, I'm Muslim. I can't be gay. My family won't allow it. I'm supposed to marry a woman. How am I supposed to choose between all of them and you? I don't want to lose any of you. I can't imagine my life without them as much as I can't imagine my life without you Liam. I just want to be free to love and I want my family to know it and to be happy for me." Zayn's body shook harder as he wept. 

"I know, I know." Liam whispered as he rocked Zayn in his arms. 

It has been a while since the two of them spoke of this subject. In fact, they have only discussed it once or twice when they first started dating. Liam would always ask Zayn to sleepover but he couldn't because he didn't want to raise suspicions at home and Zayn could not have Liam over because he knew his family would sense something different about their relationship. Zayn and Liam spent most of their time at Liam's home or on school campus. 

~~~

Louis lay Harry in bed and covered him after removing his socks from his feet and throwing them to the floor. He turned to leave when Harry's hand caught his arm.

"Lou." He whispered. 

"Yes Harry, what can I do for you?"

"Can you play with my hair till I fall asleep?"

"You are already halfway asleep." Louis' stomach and chest filled with butterflies at Harry's request. He was not expecting Harry to soften up on him. He also didn't want to make sense of why he felt this way so he kept a stern attitude and thought nothing of this moment.

Harry pouted with his eyes closed. Louis sighed and sat back down next to him. He put a hand on Harry's head and started to move the strands around.

"I don't know what I am doing."

"scratch please." Harry whined.

"So back there in the wash room you couldn't talk or put on your pants, but now you're able to talk AND demand favours?" Louis retorted. 

"Cuz , you are like rude to me, you deserve it." Harry said.

"Rude?" Louis shouted. "And I suppose it was Zayn or Niall then who helped you drink water, carry you to the wash room and put you to bed?"

"In class." Harry replied.

Louis fell silent, remembering what it was like to be in class again. It's been a week but feels longer and stranger. 

"Why do you hate me Lou?" Harry barely managed to get out.

"You should get some sleep Harry, you are very drunk tonight."

Louis patted Harry's head and stood from the bed. He turned the lights off and closed the door behind him, making his way to the living room. 

It hadn't occurred to Louis that he'd be sleeping in the same room as Niall earlier. He had totally forgot himself tonight while caring for Harry. It was too late to ask Liam for covers as well, he would have to rely on his own body heat. 

Niall was already asleep on the three seater. Louis threw the cushions off the love seat save for one and curled up to sleep. It was already 2 am. Louis had a hard time sleeping when not in his own bed. He was constantly drifting between his consciousness and subconsciousness until a phone ringing woke him up. It must have been ringing for some time because Niall was already frantically searching for it. 

It must be Niall's then. I can sleep. He thought to himself. He closed his eyes, listening to Niall whisper into the phone. 

"Greg? what's 'appenin'?" he whispered into the phone."It's alright. listen 'ere. Only positive thoughts remember?" He paused. "It's goin' teh pass, it always does. Just take deep breathes and think positive. 'Member the time we went to watch the footy match with Uncle Gary?" He quietly laughed. "Yeah, yeah Greg, we 'ad so much fun. Yes, you are me only friend. I promise Greg." 

Louis was starting to listen into Niall's conversation finding it an odd time to be conversing with someone. It sounded like the person was in distress. Perhaps its an old friend of Niall's, Louis thought.

"Is that Jackie, Greg?" Ya- ya you should prolly listen to 'er." Pause. "Right then, I'll call ya tomorrow brother." His brother? 

"Course, ya. I love ya too." Niall hung up and remained standing, looking out the front window of the house. Louis could hear him sniffling and wiping at his eyes. 

Great, just great. Now the Irish is crying. He thought, but if I'd wake up now, it would be obvious I was awake the entire time and listening in to the conversation. 

Louis felt relieved when he heard Niall's footsteps leading to the sofa and his body dropping down. He was going to sleep. He felt guilty for not having comforted the Irish but truthfully, he has dealt with enough this week.


	12. Chapter Ten

7am..

Louis woke up early and tiptoed his way out of the house. He was careful not to make any noise as he passed Niall who was sprawled all over the sofa. Louis was on his way to pack his books and clothes and store them in multiple lockers at school for now. He would terminate the rent at the office immediately and buy some perishable food items for the coming week. Louis was still contemplating telling Zayn. He was too proud to admit his current circumstance. Even to Zayn. Maybe he would eventually reconsider when desperation kicks in. 

30 minutes later..

Zayn woke up feeling cranky. His head was throbbing as he recalled the conversation from a few hours ago. He felt nauseous and guilty as always when sleeping at Liam's. Zayn will always feel this way until his parents find out the truth about his sleep overs. He wished nothing more than to wake up happy for once and not consumed with guilt. Zayn quietly rolled off the bed, grabbed his clothes and tiptoed out the room. He needed fresh air, a walk to clear his head and a cigarette to kill his already non-existent appetite. 

1 Hour later..

Harry woke up and immediately scanned the room. This wasn't his room. It took him a while to remember that he was at Liam's last night. Fuck. Flashes of the rest of the night came flooding in. This is why he never got drunk. He had made himself look like a fool in front of everyone including two of his own students. There goes his respect. He had talked too much. He remembered Louis tucking him in but can't recall the conversation. He was definitely humiliated. Harry got up to leave, taking a walk of shame. He would have to avoid group hang outs like this altogether in the future. He silently walked passed the sleeping Niall and made his exit, still wearing Liam's joggers and T-shirt.

2 hours later..

Liam rolled over in bed expecting to bump into Zayn. He opened his eyes when he felt empty space. He looked around the room in confusion. He called out for Zayn, hoping he was in the master bedroom washroom but he was nowhere in sight. Liam threw the covers off and went downstairs. He checked the guest room, no Harry and no Zayn. He checked the office, no one inside. He went to living room and found Niall still sleeping on the sofa. Louis was gone too. Liam felt hurt. This wasn't the first time Zayn sneaked out in the morning and he wasn't going to put up with it again. 

"Niall?" Liam whispered as he shook the boy lightly.

"mm?" He looked up at Liam who was looking down at him curiously. 

"Niall, did you see Harry, Lou or Zayn leave?"

"Harry, Lou or Zayn leave?" He repeated sleepily. "No." He yawned and stretched his hands over his head. "Sorry Liam, I was fast asleep."

"That's all right." Liam smiled and patted his head. "Want some pancakes? I make good pancakes!" Niall sat up immediately at the mention of food and nodded his head. 

"Yes, I want me some pancakes pleaseeee'" He replied. 

"Okay." Liam smiled. "Give me about 15 minutes to set it all up. You go wash up." 

Niall smiled back "yes, sir." He got up to the washroom as Liam went into to the kitchen.

\-------

A day later...

Setting: Harry and Liam's office

Harry was at his desk reading the paper as Liam paced back and forth between their desk with his hands clenched behind his back.

"This paper is a pile of rubbish." Harry said as he put down The Mirror. 

Liam stopped in his tracks to look over to Harry, he was upset that Harry could not pick up on the fact that he was not okay. He pulled his chair to Harry's desk and sat down. 

"Umm.. Hi?" Harry questioned. 

"Harry, I'm not well." He responded with a straight answer.

"Clearly.." Harry looked at him wide eyed, wondering if it was okay to ask him what was wrong. He hesitated for a second before responding. 

"What's wrong Liam?"

"Everything Harry, everything is wrong." Liam hugged his head with his hands, looking down at Harry's desk.

"Zayn won't talk to me Harry."

"Oh.. Oh-" His eyebrows furrowed. "What have you done?" 

"I haven't done anything. It's complicated Harry. "

Harry nodded, not sure what to answer. 

"Like, what sort of complicated?" He fumbled with his fingers, trying to keep up with the conversation. 

"It's just.. like it's not easy for us to be together, that sort of thing. His family is Muslim. They condemn homosexuality and he hasn't told his parents about him being gay yet."

Liam sighed and bit his bottom lip. He was shaking his leg now, his arms crossed at his chest. He looked over to Harry. 

"He feels guilty every time he sleeps over. Like, he feels wrong, filthy, unworthy kinda of thing and I just.. I just don't know what to do. It's really up to him at this point to make the move you know? I feel powerless"

Harry reached out and put a hand on Liam's shaking leg. 

"You are a great boyfriend Liam. I know that Zayn loves you. I think he will come around and like, everything will just be cool."

"I don't want cool Harry- I want him to tell his family so that he can live at peace. So that WE can live at peace."

Harry nodded, biting his own bottom lip.

"Within time, you can't just rush this kind of stuff."

Liam huffed. "time, time, time!!! Fuck, how long will it take?" He drew in a deep breathe before leaning in closer, placing his elbows on Harry's desk. 

"Harry... I asked Zayn to marry me just 2 weeks ago. You know what he said? He said he loved me but he can't say yes until his family approved. What would you do in my position?"

Harry was taken back, looking more bewildered. "What-- you like, proposed and everything?"

Liam nodded.

"Liam, it's hard yeah? But, I think if I were like in your place, I would just give him space and time. Let him come out when he is ready. Its not like easy."

Liam sighed, crashing his head down onto the desk. "but I just want my boyfriend back." 

Harry patted Liam's back reassuringly. "He'll be back. He won't leave you. I just know it."


	13. Chapter Eleven

Monday.

Setting: Music class

Niall and Zayn sat together for the duration of the class. Zayn was not his usual self, looking restless, agitated and impatient to leave class. 

"So when will we get together for our project?" Niall whispered to him. 

Zayn pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows not turning to Niall. He shrugged his shoulder in response. "We will have to meet in the common room." 

"Oh- we 'rnt meetin' at Liam's?" Niall asked. Zayn's face flushed, a burning sensation spreading throughout. He was feeling both angry and embarrassed. 

"No." he responded dryly.

"Oh- ya- right." Niall nodded, having remembered Zayn vanished at Liam's the night before. They must have not made up then, he thought. It's a shame, he really liked Liam and they had enjoyed a great breakfast together. 

\--------

Later in the afternoon

Setting: Queer literature class

Niall's POV

Niall entered the classroom and walked over to his usual spot. He was feeling slightly anxious at the new dynamics between Harry, Louis and himself. Would Harry treat him any different? Would he accidentally slip and call him Harry instead of Professor Styles? Would Louis still pester him? His thoughts ran wild until Harry stepped through the door. 

Harry greeted the class, looked over to Niall and nodded. He was behaving like his usual self. Niall was at ease.

Harry's POV

This is going to be just great. Fuckastic for fucking up so badly. A mess. Yeah, just a student of mine, casually lifting my pants up and tucking me into bed. Fuck. I could quit. I could. I pray Louis' not here today. I don't even want to know about what Niall thinks of me now.

Harry pushed the door opened, his eyes quickly scanned the room for Louis unwillingly. He wasn't there. Harry sighed in relief and greeted the class, his eyes landed on Niall and nodded in his direction. 

Harry was lost in his thoughts while he set up the podium with the notes for the lecture. He was steadily setting up the overhead projector when the doors flew open revealing a dishevelled and tired looking Louis. He was not dressed in his usual dapper suits and his hair was unkempt. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face didn't look clean shaven as usual. 

Harry's heart raced as he tried to look away from Louis. He was panicking at the sight. What could have happened? He looked better the night before. Harry's thoughts were racing with possibilities. He watched as Louis took a seat next to Niall. 

Louis POV 

No place to iron my clothes, can't fuckin' shave anywhere here. I should try to do it in the shower tonight after me practice. Great. Now I'm stuck wearing joggers. Okay, I really shouldn't be thinking about this useless stuff, focus. I mustn't act any different, lest anyone suspect anything. Watching Harry is going to be a delight. Louis smirked to himself. Not sure how I will keep up with a straight face. Does this mean I have to sit next to the Irish now? Would be awkward not to... I mean we slept in the same damn room. Which reminds me, maybe I should ask if his brother is al right. Maybe that's personal. Fuck it. Is there anything in my life at the moment that isn't fuckin' messy an' complicated? Deep breath, okay well it is what it is.

Great, forgot this blonde fur ball sits front row. Grace me with your presence Professor Style. Fun. 

Louis rolled his eyes as he walked over to sit next to Niall. 

"ey mate." The Irish whispered. Louis smiled bleakly as he took the seat next to him. 

****

The remainder of the class sailed smoothly. Niall and Louis exchanged a few words. Harry did not make eye contact with Louis. Louis had kept to himself instead of answering and pointing out details Harry missed. Harry was curious over Louis' change. Louis was curious of Niall's constant texting, which was unlike him. And Niall, well Niall was flattered that Louis sat next to him, glad that Harry still treated him the same, concerned that Zayn and Liam weren't talking but mostly worried about his brother who was texting him non-stop about wanting to hurt himself. He was feeling antsy, wanting to leave class.

****

Harry was collecting his books when his phone vibrated. He turned on his screen to find a text from an unsaved number.

Harry, it's Zayn, I need to speak with you. Can you tell me when I can come by for 10 minutes? Please make sure Liam won't be there. 

Harry felt uneasy about this. Great. Drama. 

Hi Zayn. I'll be in the office in 5 minutes. Liam won't be there, he is teaching until 6. See you there.

Harry packed his briefcase and headed to the office.


	14. Chapter Twelve

Harry paces himself as he walks to his office. He can't imagine what Zayn is coming to ask him. He is well aware of the recent feud between Liam and Zayn but he has no intention to get involved. He turns on the light to the office and barely makes it to the desk when Zayn frantically barges in.

"Harry, Harry, you need to help me."

Harry's eyes widen at Zayn's pale sweaty face.

"What's going on Zayn?"

"Harry, you teach like Queer things, tell me , are there any guidelines, any steps, is there any easy way to do this?"

"What- wh- what are you talking about?"

"Coming out Harry. I need to come out."

Harry's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"I teach literature Zayn, not coming out class. Please have a seat and relax, can I get you anything? a glass of water, a towel maybe?"

"No, no, I'm fine, listen. I have to do this now or I will never do it. I think--I think if just DON'T think bout it and do it. It will be better, but how do I even start ?"

"Calm down Zayn." Harry pats him on the back and takes a seat in front of him.

"Listen, this coming out business isn't my forte and its all very personal. It's not the same for everyone. I can't tell you how to do it Zayn. "

"You've never had to do it?"

Harry shook his head.

"My mum just knew."

Zayn nods, waits on Harry to continue.

"Um, well, she never tried to teach me any differently. She'd always say 'Harry, you just love until it consumes you and all those around you.' As a child, I was a tad bit confused. Now I understand, love just radiates around, people can sense true love, it vibrates into their souls."

He hesitates, waits for Zayn to respond but Zayn just nods, waiting for Harry to continue.

"Um, I think it like, it makes the people push for the lovers to be together because of how great it feels, not just for the lovers, but for those around them as well."

Harry frowns.

"Not that.. not that I know much about love anyway."

Zayn nods, still waiting for Harry to continue.

"Like, have you ever had two people you know and genuinely like? You just want to come together?"

Zayn nods.

"Well, I think that's how it works, umm.. I've gone off topic, sorry Zayn, I'm just talking rubbish."

Zayn's eyebrows shoot up. "No, not at all! that's actually quite beautiful, Harry."

Harry smiles and nods back.

"You and Liam have something great. I will always be here to support you two. I think you will find courage within you. I never took you for a weak one."

Zayn presses his lips together and forces a smile at Harry's remark.

"Just remember every parent wants the best for their child. They want to see their children happy. I don't think they will judge you solely on your sexual orientation. It's a part of you, but like, its not all of you, yeah?" --Zayn shifts in his seat, his eyes swell with tears. --"at the end of the day, you are loving someone, you are not killing anyone. It may take some time for your parents to get there but you should always be true to who you are."- He pauses again, "and like, Liam loves you. He has been a mess. You wouldn't take the fool for a sucker when it comes to love but boy..." Harry shakes his head side to side, "is love ever his weakness." He smiles.

Zayn lets out a weak laugh and fights back the tears that hang delicately from his dark lashes.

"I love him too Harry. I just don't know what else to do. I've hurt him enough but I don't think I could go back to him without having come out first."

Harry nods understandingly.

"Thank you Harry, truly. It means a lot. I'm glad I came to speak with you. Liam was right as usual. You are a delight and I can see why Lou-"

Harry's eyes shoot up and widen as he locks eyes with Zayn, "what about Louis?"

"Sorry, no. Nothing. I gotta go. Harry, can you please do me a favor? Can you please make sure Liam comes to watch my game tonight? He has never missed a game and it'd really break me if he didn't come tonight."

"Yeah, um, I'll try my best."

Zayn gets up to leave.

"Zayn." Harry calls behind him.

"Yes Harry?"

"Is Louis okay then?"

"Louis is fine last I checked, why do you ask?"

"No, nothing. Just wondering that's all."

Zayn nods and gently closes the door behind him. 

\-----------------

 

Narrator Voice:

Three hours before the game, Zayn paces back and forth in his room. The mix of anxiety and stress is taking a toll on his energy and he wants nothing more than to climb into Liam's arms. He is growing impatient from keeping his distance from him. They have never spent this much time apart since they've got together.

Zayn sits on his bed, fiddling with his fingers. He meditates on the conversation he had with Harry just a few minutes ago. Everything Harry had said about love struck a chord in him. Harry was right.

Our brave Zayn gets up on his heels. He walks to his parent's bedroom across the hall.

He joins his parents inside their bedroom. "I have something very important I need to tell you." He swallows thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing up slowly as he clenches his jaw tightly.

"What is it son?"

Zayn's eyes land on his father mid speech. Anxiety is taking over his body, he is feeling out breath. He looks over to his mother whose eyebrows are furrowed with worry.

A mother's instinct is a funny thing.

This mother knows her son is not delivering news of bad grades or coming to request an allowance. This mother's instinct knows he comes forth with a heavy heart and sorrow that is now turning into regret.

Moments later..

Warning: physical violence ahead, please read with discretion.

Zayn was up against the wall, blood dripping down his face. His father's grip, a tight hold on his shirt that is choking up against his throat. His mother's cry for mercy is all he can hear as he fades out to black.

"I will NOT have any sinner or faggot living in MY home!!!"

Zayn was punched to ground, kicked, dragged, forced off the ground only to be thrown up against the wall. His jaw ached. Now numb from the repeated beatings. His mother wrestled to get between them and loosen his father's grip from his shirt.

In a moment, he finds himself thrown in front of the door. His mother has succeeded in hauling him away from his raging father. He takes the opportunity to run to his room, awakened and stirred by the adrenaline pumping through his blood.

Zayn rushes to throw clothes into a bag. He can hear his mother yelling, fighting back against his father's weight who is trying to escape.

The tears and blood rushing down his face are clouding his vision and burning his cheeks but he keeps on pushing. He is startled when his mother runs into the room frantically locking the door behind her.

She takes him into her embrace and kisses his head repeatedly.

"Zayn, Zayn baby. I love you so much sweety. Don't leave." She pleads. "I will talk to your dad. He is just in a rut and needs time. Don't you worry baby, mum still loves you ok, I love you no matter what." She pulls back from the hug to wipe at the tears streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry mum." His split lip trembles as he whimpers it again. "I'm sorry mum."

She shakes her head and embraces him tighter. "No baby no. You do not apologize for anything. I'm sorry. I'm the sorry one."

Zayn's body shakes as he begins to cry hysterically in his mother's arms. He did not expect his mother to support him. His nails dig deep into the fabric of her sweater as he hangs on like a vulnerable child.

He hears his father screaming from the bedroom about "homosexuality being a sin" and that he will force his son to be "exorcised from the demons inside."

"Zayn." She pulled back from the hug and wipes at his tears again. "You come home tonight after your game okay?"

Zayn shakes his head, unable to respond. He knows he cannot come back.

"Please, you got to leave now." She pleads with tears swelling in her eyes. "Just until dad's calmer. I will talk to him Zayn. Don't you worry. I will talk to him."

Zayn purses his lips together as he nods in agreement. "Good, now, stop packing. Don't mind your father. Wash up quickly love." She kisses him on the forehead and pulls him in for another squeeze. "I will take you out the front."

Zayn enters his washroom and runs the water. His mother comes behind him with towels. "Take these with you love. Maybe sit the game out tonight. Please go to a friend just until dad settles. I will come get you tonight." His mother runs around frantically. She is more nervous and worried than Zayn who is numb from all the pain.

Zayn washes his face and dabs the towel over his neck and face, careful not to make the cuts or bruises sting and ache. He walks behind his mother who offers him his hand. They escape down the stairs and out the front door.

"Like I said love," she whispers to him, "I will bring you home tonight. This is your home. You are always welcome." Her eyes swell with tears again as she takes her son in for another embrace. He wipes at his own tears as he pulls away and places a hand on her shoulder. She reaches for his hand and covers it with her own.

"I love you mum." His lips tremble as he takes her hands and kisses the back. He turns around and limps down the street with his duffle bag loosely hanging off his shoulder.

He can hear his mother crying as she watches him struggle.


	15. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter thirteen

Zayn turns a corner from his home and limps down another two blocks. His mind is racing as fast as the adrenaline pumping through his body. He pulls himself into a back alley way belonging to the neighborhood convenience store and lets his weight drop back against the hard brick wall. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath steading himself. He shakily takes his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it. He searches for Louis’ name in the contact list and hits call.

It rings four times before Louis answers.  
“Yeah Zayn, what’s up?”  
“Louis,”  
“Zayn?”  
“I need to see you now; I need to come over.”  
“What do you mean? I’m getting dressed to go on the field just now. Aren’t you coming?”  
“No, I .. I can’t come tonight. Shit. Can you, can you tell coach I had a bad trip down the stairs, I’m all beat up.”  
“What the fuck happened?”  
“I’ll tell you later but I need to see you after the game.”  
“Where are you now Zayn?”  
“Just outside me home.”  
“Is that where you want me to come after?”  
“No, I” ---“Just call me when you are done alright?”  
“You are being very sketch mate—what’s going on?”  
Zayn lets his head fall back against the wall. He closes his eyes and lets the tears run down his face.  
“I” –“Please Louis, I can’t talk about it now. I will tell you later.”  
Zayn hangs up not waiting on Louis’ response.  
Zayn scrolls up to find Harry’s name and presses call.  
“Hi Zayn.” Harry’s deep voice comes soothingly from the other end followed by a clearing of his throat.  
“Harry, I did it.” –“I came out.”  
“Ooh” Harry pauses, “well, how’d it go then?”  
Zayn goes to answer but his body begins to tremble and shake as new waves of hysteric cries take over. He slides down the wall and lets his arms hug his knees as he hangs on tightly to his phone. He can hear Harry’s voice coming from the receiver.  
“Zayn? Zayn! No! Heyyyyy! Zayn, answer me!! Where are you? Zayn, hang on tight, I’m coming to get you.”  
Zayn lifts the phone to his ear. “Okay.” He whimpers. “’m on the corner of Wellington and Hart.”  
“I’m on my way Zayn. I’m just three minutes from there, would you like me to stay on the phone with you till I arrive?”  
“’s okay.” Zayn replies. “see you.”  
He hangs up and pulls one of the towels from his bag and dabs at his face.  
\-----------  
Setting: Convenience lot/ Harry’s condo  
Harry invites Zayn back to his condo after finding him in the back lot. He carries Zayn to the main street and hails down a cab. He holds his bag for him and wraps an arm around his waist helping him into the back seat.

Back at Harry’s condo.  
Zayn is laying down on Harry’s couch. Harry has left him to bring a bag of ice, glass of water and his first aid kit. He places the items on the glass table next to Zayn and moves to his feet where he carefully unties his laces.  
“Oh Harry, no, I will do it –“ Zayn jerks up from his seat.  
“Shh, it’s alright , just lay back down.”  
Zayn protests, “No Harry, really, please I couldn’t let you take off my shoes for me.”  
Harry slides his hand to Zayn’s thigh reassuringly.  
“Zayn, I’m no stranger, please, there is nothing to be ashamed about. You are my guest and I want to ensure you are comfortable. Please. Just lay back and rest.”  
Zayn lays back down and lets out a heavy shaky breath. He covers his eyes with his arm.  
“Thank you Harry.”  
Harry moves to sit next to Zayn on the floor. He hands him the glass of water.  
“Here you go, drink some water.”  
He patiently waits for Zayn to finish half the glass before taking it from him.  
“Come sit up here Harry.” Zayn inches over, exposing room for Harry to sit on.  
“Thanks.” Harry grabs a wet towel that he has managed to bring along with the other items. “I’m just going to clean up the wound on your eye and lip with some alcohol before I put the gauze on.”  
Zayn nods with a weak smile.  
“It’s going to sting a bit. Tell me if it’s too much.” He dabs at Zayn’s left eye.  
The pair fall in silence with the occasionally hiss from Zayn at the stinging pain.  
“I’m really sorry this happened to you. I don’t why but I just.. I guess I kind of feel responsible for sending you off like that with no choate plan.”  
“No Harry. Really. Please don’t think this is your fault. Even I couldn't predict it would get this bad.”  
Harry stops dabbing at the wound and looks down at Zayn.  
“I’m just,” – “like, sorry that this even happened. You don’t deserve this. No one does.”  
Zayn doesn’t respond. He continues to look into Harry’s concerned eyes and falls into a trance amidst the depth of his green eyes.  
Harry leans down and presses a long kiss to Zayn’s forehead.  
Zayn is taken back from his affection. He remains silent.  
“Thanks Harry. You alright though?” He asks surprised.  
“Yeah” –“Umm sorry if that was strange.”—He pauses, suddenly looking nervous. “Just like, my mum always taught me to sympathize with others and I don’t like seeing you—“  
“Shhh.” Zayn grabs onto Harry’s hand. “I don’t think its strange Harry; it was really comforting. Thanks.”  
Harry smiles, something in his eyes brightens as his pupils begin to dilate. “Oh, thanks Zayn.”  
Harry leans down and tries to hug Zayn. Zayn perches up allowing Harry’s hands to slide under him and around his back. Harry squeezes him gently and slowly retracts.  
“I just want you to know, you can stay here as long as you want. I just want you to be safe.”  
Zayn smiles. “Thanks, you are a great host.”  
Harry leans towards the glass table to grab the first aid box. He pauses midway and turns around in panic.  
“Shit!” He yells.  
“What? What’s wrong?”  
“You told me to tell Liam to come to your game. Isn’t your game now?”  
Zayn’s eyes widen in sync with Harry’s. “He is coming to my game?”  
“Yeah, um, he said he was going to go regardless.”  
Zayn squeezes his eyes shut. “Fuck. I hope he doesn’t get skeptical about me missing out.”  
“Knowing Liam.” Harry starts-  
“He is definitely going to get curious and try to find out why I’m not there.” Zayn finishes for him.  
“Yeah.” Harry responds.  
\-----------------  
Meanwhile on the field at Oxford Stadium

Liam sits in the front row bleacher in his usual spot. His eyes scan through the players on the field eagerly trying to spot Zayn. He sees Louis from a distance practicing one touch passes with the other forwards. He searches the bench area trying to see where Zayn may be. The whistle blows and the players scatter, some coming off, the captains meeting in the center and Louis taking his place in the left wing.  
Liam stands up from his spot. Zayn is not in his usual center mid field position nor seated on the bench. He waves at Louis using both arms trying to get his attention. Louis looks to him and nods. Liam mouths Zayn’s name and questions where using his hand. Louis shrugs and looks away. Liam waves his arms again. Louis looks back as Liam motions him over. Louis shakes his head no and looks back to the middle where the captains stand. He looks back at Liam who is still motioning him to come over looking mildly angry and upset. Louis runs off field to Liam.  
“Where’s Zayn?” Liam yells out before Louis halts in front of him.  
“I don’t know Li- he isn’t coming tonight.”  
“What do you mean he isn’t coming? He is the one who wanted to make sure I came out tonight.”  
“Liam, I don’t know. Something came up and he couldn’t make it.”  
“Louis, Zayn never misses a game. What is going on?”  
“I can’t talk, the whistle just blew, I gotta go.”  
Louis runs off as a frustrated Liam stands with his arms crossed. Louis takes his place and looks back at him shrugging again.  
\--------  
Back at Harry’s condo.  
Zayn is falling asleep as Harry prepares stew on the stove. He hears his phone ringing from the glass table next to Zayn. He quickly dashes to the table hoping the ring doesn’t wake him up.  
“Your phone.” Zayn whispers as he hands it to Harry.  
“So sorry. I should have muted it.”  
“No worries.” Zayn clears his throat and shuts his eyes again.  
Harry takes a seat on the sofa adjacent to the couch Zayn’s sleeping on. It is a text message from Liam.  
_Harry, I’m at the game. Zayn is not here._  
A follow up text comes through while Harry reads this.  
_Where is he?_  
Harry winces as he reads the second text.  
“Umm, Zayn.” He speaks in his deep quiet voice. “Liam is asking where you are.”  
Zayn turns to look at him, bringing his hand to the ridge of his eyebrows as he thinks.  
“Ah… I don’t know what to say to that.” He pauses. “Just tell him, I had to go out of town to see my sister.”  
“okay.”  
Harry replies to the text.  
_He went out of town to see his sister. Last minute thing._  
Liam’s reply comes within seconds.  
 _So then why would he ask me to come? What’s wrong with his sister?_  
“Now he is asking what’s wrong with your sister.”  
“Ughh.. I don’t know, just don’t respond.”  
“Okay.” Harry turns his phone on vibrate and returns to the kitchen.  
“Harry.” Zayn calls out from the living room. “Mum said she’s getting me tonight. Don’t feel the need to do much. You’ve done more than I could ask for.”  
*phone vibrates*  
Harry returns with a wooden spoon in his hand, adorned in his polka dotted apron.  
*phone vibrates*  
“Don’t be silly Zayn, I didn’t do much. Like I said, you are more than welcome to stay regardless. I’m just making us some hearty stew to whip you back to shape.”  
*phone vibrates*  
They both look at his phone as it vibrates the third time.  
“Gee.. Liam is persistent.” Harry says. The phone lights up and they can see Liam’s calling.  
“Ah fuck. Tell him my sister is feeling ill and I had to go see to her.”  
“Should I pick up or respond through text.”  
“Through text.” Zayn replies as he sits up on the couch.  
Harry rejects the call from Liam and opens their text message conversation.  
_Harry. Answer me. What’s going on with his sister._  
 _Why aren’t you helping me? I’m feeling anxious here._  
 _Harry, did something happen to Zayn?_  
Harry bites on his bottom lip. He turns his phone over to Zayn to show him the stream of texts.  
“ A true lover senses.” Harry says as he takes a seat next to Zayn.  
Zayn sighs and sinks down in his spot. He locks eyes with Harry.  
“I don’t want him to know the truth Harry. I don’t want him to see me like this.”  
“I understand.” Harry puts a hand on Zayn’s thigh.  
He responds to Liam’s text.  
_Nothing to worry about. Zayn’s sister is ill, he went to check up on her._  
He receives a response within seconds.  
_Bullocks, why would Zayn go and not his mother?_  
 _She went with him. Mother can’t drive at night. Zayn’s driving._  
“Good save Harry.” Zayn smiles as he reads the screen.  
_I’m not believing any of this. There is an unsettling feeling in my stomach. You and Louis better fess up before I go to Zayn’s home._  
Harry looks at Zayn who is now rolling his eyes.  
“Really Harry, I don’t think I need this right now, I’ve dealt with enough today.”  
Harry squeezes Zayn's thigh.  
“I know.”  
_Honestly Liam. Nothing to be concerned about._  
 _Okay, that’s it. I’m going to Zayn’s now. I’m serious._  
Harry angles the screen to Zayn again.  
“Fuckkkk.--- why is he making my life difficult right now? You need to stop him from going to my place”  
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to tell him to get him to stop.”  
“Just tell him I’m here Harry. He can NOT go to my house.”  
“Okay”  
_H: Zayn is at my place. Not feeling well to be at home._  
 _L: I’m coming over._  
 _H: Not a good idea. Zayn doesn’t want to see you._  
 _L: I don’t care. I’m not feeling good about this. I’m coming._  
 _H: Don’t._  
 _L: On my way._  
 _H: I won’t let you up._  
 _L: Try me._  
 _H: Oh, I will._  
 _L: Where’s this sass coming from? What are you doing with my bf?_  
 _H: I’m not doing anything. Don’t be crazy Liam._  
 _L: Then why are you hiding him from me?_  
 _H: I’m not. He doesn’t want to see you and You are NOT welcomed._  
 _L: Shut your face. I’m on my way._  
\----------------  
Meanwhile in the dormitory. Niall returns with a cup of hot coffee, settling into his desk. He opens his books scanning for the music notes he needs in order to practice for his upcoming performance with Zayn.  
“shit.” He grabs his phone and texts Zayn.  
_Hi Zayn. Hope you’re well mate. You got the music sheets that I need for my practice._  
\---- on the other end  
Zayn’s phone vibrates in his pocket. He retrieves it to find Niall’s text.  
_Thanks, I’m well. I’m sorry, forgot to give them to you._  
His phone rings with Niall’s name showing on the screen.  
“Not the time.” Zayn says out loud. He rejects the call.  
The call comes in again.  
“Fuckk.” He yells in frustration.  
“Hello?”  
“ey mate. Sorry ter bother you but I really need the notes. The performance is this week and I haven’t memorized any parts.”  
“Can it wait for tomorrow?”  
“Sorry, but I got other papers and things ter submit this week. Kinda tied up and hopin’ ter get this out of the way.”  
“Harry, could you please grab me my bag?”  
“Sure.” Harry’s response comes in as he fetches Zayn’s bag by the recliner.  
“One second Niall.”  
He opens the front pocket of his duffel bag where he usually stuffs his course work. He searches through the pile to find the music sheets.  
“Yeah, I got ‘em here. I can’t bring them to you. I’m actually at Harrys. You think you can come grab them?”  
“Yea, sure thing mate. Just give me the address.”  
“Yeah, I’m going to pass you to Harry.”  
Zayn passes the phone to Harry.  
\-------  
Oxford stadium—Half time  
Louis goes into the change room feeling light headed and weak. He sits on the bench and holds his head between his hands. He hasn’t been eating well lately and it is starting to effect the way he plays and feels. He is agitated and frustrated having received a yellow card for aggressive play and getting called offside twice within the first half. He was not delivering like his usual self and this upset him among other things.  
Louis feels painfully weak and a churn in his stomach sends him plummeting to the trash bin 3 feets away from the bench. He clutches onto his stomach as he heaves up built up acid. The only other person inside the change room, the assistant coach comes to his side.  
“Alright there Tommo?” He hands him one of the towels hanging off his shoulder.  
“not feelin’ too well sir.” Louis takes the towel and wipes at his mouth.  
“Need to sit this out?”  
“If it’s not much of a bother.” Louis responds.  
He places a hand on Louis’ shoulder. “You go home and rest up. I’ll see another substitution for you.”  
“Thanks sir.”  
Louis walks back to bench, letting his head fall back against the wall. He closes his eyes as the world spins around him. He remembers the frantic Liam on the sidelines and the telephone conversation with Zayn. He digs into his bag and pulls out his phone. He searches his phone log for Zayn’s name and hits call.  
The phone rings twice before he answers.  
“Hey Zayn.”  
“Louis, hey. How’s the game?”  
“It’s alright, we are down one. Sitting this one out actually, not feelin’ well.”  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Just nauseous and feeling dizzy.”  
“Mmm.. you okay to come see me?”  
“I mean yeah, you only worried me to my own death and caused a frantic Liam to storm out the stadium. What’s going on with him anyway?”  
“Don’t know. I’m at Harry’s now.”  
“And does Harry mind me there?”  
“Why would he?--- oh, one second let me ask him.”  
“Harryyyyy—“ Zayn calls out for Harry, who is somewhere inside the apartment.  
He comes half jogging-half walking with clumsy looking legs.  
“What is it Zayn?”  
“Would you be okay if Louis came over?”  
“Yeah, that's fine.”  
“Here, give him the address.”  
Zayn passes the phone to Harry.  
“Uh, hi.”  
“Hi Professor.”  
“Harry- call me Harry please.”  
“Harry.”  
“Yeah.”  
“The address?”  
“Oh um, yeah. Right. Just on the corner of Portland and King’s Cross road.”  
“Just off campus?”  
“Yeah”  
“See you soon.”  
“Just tell the concierge your name is Louis and you are here to see Harry at 2305”  
“Fancy. Thanks, see ya.”  
“See ya.”  
Harry hangs up and looks over to Zayn.  
“Um..I’ve never had people over. Now there’s going to be four of you.”  
“Four?” Zayn frowns.  
“You, Liam, Louis and Niall.”  
“Oh no Harry, I’ll just take the papers down to Niall. Don’t let Liam up. Just Louis.”  
“Oh no, I couldn’t do that. My mum taught me to invite guests in. Even if you have nothing to offer.”  
“Harry, you refused Liam.” Zayn points out.  
“Oh yeah, um about that. Actually. I only refused him on your behalf but I think.. maybe you can like re-consider?”  
“No, I really couldn’t. I don’t want him to see me like this.”  
“Yeah but.. it’s Liam. He won’t leave unless he saw you.”  
“No Harry.” Zayn gives him a stern look that leaves him speechless.  
Harry shrugs and moves back to the kitchen.  
“Well, I’ve made enough stew for everyone. I also made cornbread yesterday. I’ve got plenty of leftover.”  
“Thanks Harry. Didn’t take you for a domestic housewife.”  
“Heyyyyy.” He comes back with candles in his hands.  
Zayn smiles. “Thank you. You are a great host.”  
Harry doesn’t reply, he smiles instead as he places the candles on the glass table.  
“and romantic….” Zayn teases.  
\---------------------------  
Downstairs at the condo lobby.  
Niall arrives with his phone already out to call Zayn.  
“’ey Zayn. ‘M downstairs.”  
“Hi. Harry wants you to come upstairs. Tell the concierge you are going to 2305.”  
“’arite, see ya in a bit.”  
Niall seeks the concierge and signs in to visit Harry upstairs.  
“Niall?” Niall turns around to find a panting Liam behind him.  
“’Eyyyy.” Niall walks over to hug Liam.  
“Hi.” He responds catching his breath.  
“You arite mate? You run over here or somethin’?”  
“Uh yeah.” He pauses. “I ran.” He points towards the elevator. “Is Zayn okay?”  
“Zayn?” Niall frowns and looks sideways at Liam as they walk to the elevator. “Yeah?" He questions. "I mean, I think so. He was lookin' like down an stuff in class.”  
Liam looks over to him, his eyebrows furrowed. “down and stuff?”  
Niall feels his face flush red. “Sorry, he is upset I guess.”  
“That’s all? He is upset? He missed a soccer game because he is upset?”  
Niall shrugs. “Dunno what you talkin’ bout mate. Sorry, ‘m just ‘ere to get me papers.”  
“So, you don’t know why he is here at Harry’s?”  
Niall shrugs again. “Sorry mate, not me business, didn’t ask.”  
The pair step off the elevator and follow the sign that reads 2305.


	16. Chapter Fourteen

 

\------

Chapter Fourteen

**This chapter is dedicated to my lifelong partner, lover and best friend. May our unconditional love always bring us back to the start.**

Setting: Outside Harry’s apartment.

Liam knocks on the front door leading to Harry’s apartment. He waits patiently as a pair of footsteps is heard approaching the door. The door opens.

Harry looks dumbfounded as his eyes jump from Niall to Liam.

“Liam,” He clears his throat, “Hi! Didn’t know you were.. here.” He looks to Niall. “Hi Niall,” Harry peeks back inside the apartment. “Actually can you guys give me just a second?”

Harry closes the door as he runs to inform Zayn that Liam has arrived.

\-------

Meanwhile…

Louis is dropped off by a teammate on injury rest that offered to drive him home. He thanks James for the ride and enters the main doors.

“Um hi, yeah I’m here for Harry. Harry Styles, unit 2305.”

“Is he expecting you?”

“Yeah, I could ring him if you’d like.”

“That won’t be necessary, sign here. Elevators to the left”

“okay, cool, yea.”

Louis signs his name in the guest log and walks over to the elevators.

\-------

“Okay, give me a hat or something.” Zayn whispers to Harry frantically as they rush to his room.

He is wearing his long sleeve sweater and track pants. The only bruises he needed to hide were on his face.

Harry runs around from closet to drawer.

“Harry!” “Harry!” Zayn yells while maintaining a whisper. “Do you have make up? Something to cover the purple up?” He stands in front of the mirror in Harry’s en suite bathroom.

Harry gives Zayn a scorning look. 

“No! Why would I have make up? Just nail polish.”

Zayn gives him a side-glance.

He disappears and reappears with a fedora, scarves and a beanie.

“A fedora Harry? Really?” Harry shrugs. Zayn takes the beanie from his hands and places it on his head.

“It doesn’t cover anything….” They both stare blankly at each other in the mirror.

“You can wrap a head scarf around your… eye?”

“and hit a piñata all night?”

Harry smiles in response to Zayn’s mocking.

Zayn bites on his bite lip and looks to Harry with glowing brown eyes.

“Is it weird that I’m feeling a bit excited to see Liam?” he asks.

“Not weird at all.”

Harry places a hand on Zayn’s shoulder and smiles.

“You shouldn’t stand too long, let’s walk you back to the couch.”

“yeah.”

\------------

Meanwhile outside:

Louis steps out of the elevator to find Niall and Liam leaning against the walls in the corners of the corridor.

“Fancy seeing you all here, what’s the occasion?” Louis asks from a distance.

“You wanker!” Liam shouts. “I asked you if you knew where Zayn was, you said you didn’t”

“Calm down. I only came to know after the fact.” Louis approaches the duo and looks to Niall, “And what were you summoned for?” He stares Niall up and down.

“I – ah, I’m just pickin’ me music sheets from Zayn ‘ere.” Niall nods after delivering his statement.

Louis looks at Niall and licks his bottom lip. “And you,” he turns around to Liam. “Thought Zayn didn’t want to see you.”

“Shove it Lou. Don’t care about any of your opinions. I’m here to speak to Zayn.”

“And why are we all standing outside?”

Niall jumps to the answer. “Harreh.” He pauses. “Harreh asked us to wait a second.”

Louis smirks. He goes to knock on the door again.

“’M COMINGGG.” He can hear loud footsteps approaching the door. The door swings open.

“Hi.” Louis’ confident expression fades as Harry stands before him.

“Hi Louis.” Harry says looking down at him. He is taken back again now that the third has arrived. Harry looks around.

“Umm.. before you all come in. I need to tell you this.” He steps outside. “First, I’ve made stew.” [Louis’ right eyebrow shoots up as a spreading smile causes crinkles to appear by his eyes.] “Second, Zayn’s had a bit of a rough day. So like, give him space and um.” He leans forward and whispers. “Don’t look panicked when you see him.”

Liam’s heart begins to race, his breath is heavy and shallow. Louis’ smile fades as his eyebrows tug together in suspicion. Niall nods along to Harry’s warning, a tad confused but listening attentively.

Liam pushes past Harry as he runs into the apartment. He does not speak a word when he dashes nor does he speak when he finds Zayn sitting up on the couch with a headscarf  tied around his head with a loose bow hanging down, concealing half his face.

Louis is quick to appear followed closely by Harry pulling on Niall’s arm. “Sorry.” He looks sideways at Niall, and releases his arm.

“Zayn.” Louis calls out. He walks up next to Liam and looks at Zayn whose eyes don’t move from the floor. His bottom lip is split, dried blood clenching to tight skin on either side.

Liam falls onto his knees. Zayn’s eyes shoot up.

“Liam!” Zayn screams and reaches forward for Liam. Louis kneels by the two. Tears are streaming down Liam’s face. Louis places an arm around Zayn and an arm around Liam not sure of what to say.

“Babe.” Zayn says. “No, no, no, noo! Don’t cry.” He wipes at Liam’s eyes and pulls him in for a hug. Liam’s body does not respond. He remains absolutely still, his arms hanging down his sides, his fists both clenched with anger and rage.

Niall steps closer to Harry and puts a hand on his back. “Think I should come back another time.” Harry shakes his head, he whispers back into Niall’s ear. “Please don’t leave me alone.” He pulls away from Niall, who gives him a shrug. Harry takes Niall’s arm again and leads him to one of the sofas.

“Talk to me, say something!” Zayn cries with a shaky voice. Louis is rubbing both their backs, his head resting on the outside of Liam’s shoulder.

Liam begins to cry, his body is shaking violently, vibrating against Zayn and Louis’ bodies. Louis releases him from his grasp and allows Zayn to take full hold of him.

Harry is anxious and restless, he finds himself walking over and kneeling on the ground between Liam and Louis. He places a hand on Liam’s back and gently rubs in circles. He looks at Louis who is only inches away and locks eyes with him. His blue eyes are striking but Harry can’t help notice how tired they look. Louis looks at him sympathetically. “You should have told me sooner.” He whispers to Harry. “When did this happen?”

“Just a few hours ago.”

Zayn is still rocking with Liam, holding him tight and consoling him with “It’s alright Liam” and “I’m okay babe.” Liam’s fists unclench themselves as his arms reach up to wrap around Zayn’s waist. His cries are growing weaker, silence beginning to fill the room.

Liam pulls back from Zayn’s arms and takes a good look at him. He brings a hand up and gently moves back the loose scarf hanging over his face.  Tears fall from his eyes as he looks back into Zayn’s eyes. “Why?” he manages to ask with a choke.

Zayn is unable to respond. He shakes his head side to side and places both hands on Liam’s cheeks.

“I have a jest of what may have happened but Harry can you tell us what happened?” Louis gently asks.

Liam and Zayn continue to stare into each other’s eyes in silence as their tears fall in synchronization.

Harry clears his throat. He looks at Louis. “He came out to his parents.” Liam chokes back another cry. He shakes his head still looking at Zayn.

“It was… his dad.” Harry pauses. “His dad who did this.”

Louis doesn’t reply. Instead, he looks to Zayn and squeezes his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Zayn. I wish you would have told me sooner.”

Zayn shakes his head. “It doesn’t change anything.”

Liam puts a hand on the back on Zayn’s head and pulls him in for another hug.

“Liam.” Harry interrupts with his deep gentle voice. “Zayn should be laying down.”

Liam pulls back from the hug and nods. He takes Zayn’s hands into his own. He stands up and gently pulls Zayn up with him. Zayn takes a step back and sits on the couch.

“Sorry Louis, I forgot, you were feeling ill too. Are you okay?” Zayn asks.

Liam sits next to Zayn.

“Oh I’m fine yeah.” Louis shakes it off as he stands from the floor.

Zayn leans against Liam and whispers something in his ear.

Harry turns to Louis who is now walking to the sofa where Niall is quietly seated.

“Louis, would you like to me get you something? Do you need to lay down?”

“Oh that’s fine Harry. I’m well now. I could use an anti-acid pill if you got one though.”

“Yeah sure, the medicine cabinet is in my bedroom.”

“Yeah sure”

Louis jumps up.

“Oh-“ Harry turns around. “I could just go grab it for you.”

“It’s alright, I will come with you.” He pauses, “unless you don’t want me to then I’ll just stay put.”

“Oh no, no. It’s fine, yeah. Come.”

Louis follows closely behind.

“Uh, that’s the kitchen there.” he points to the space behind Zayn and Liam.

“Yeah Harry, I could clearly see it from where I was sitting.”

Harry nods, “right, yeah, well down here…” He walks into the hallway.

“This is the main washroom.” He points to the left.  “The study room.” Gestures to the right. “The guest room.” Points to the left again. “And um, my room.” They step inside his bedroom, whose lights turn on automatically.

“Fancy.” Louis says.

“Uh, yeah.” He walks to the en suite. “Here is my bathroom, the medicine cabby just in there.” He stands by the door waiting for Louis to go in.

“Big room.”

“Yeah.” Harry’s arm reaches over Louis’ shoulder and holds open the cabinet. “I have chewable tablets for acid.”

Louis snorts. “Chewable?” He turns to look at Harry who is flustered. “Can’t do pills?”

“Uh, I can, but I like my chewables.”

“Let me guess, you got chewable vitamins too?”

Harry’s eyes widen. “Yeah! How’d you know.”

Louis lets out a little laugh.

“Alright, then.” He replies. He pulls the bottle from the shelf and helps himself to a pill. Harry remains behind him, watching him intently. “Do you need to make sure I swallow it properly?” He asks, turning to face Harry.

Harry is startled and moves back a step. “Oh sorry, no. I’m sorry.” He turns to leave but Louis’ arm grabs hold off his shirt.

“I’m just pulling your leg. It’s fine.” He bites into the tablet and crushes it with his teeth.

He gives Harry a thumbs up. “Yea! Real delicious.”

Harry smiles, his dimples turning to hallow holes inside his cheeks. “It’s banana flavor.”

“Someone likes his bananas.” Louis winks.

Harry blushes and looks away from Louis.

“So, Zayn eh? That was a big step. What are we going to do now?” Louis asks.

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to ask much. I just want him to rest first.” Harry shakes his head. Louis is nodding as he speaks. Harry puts his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. “He said his mum is picking him up tonight.”

“So the storm calmed down at home?”

“I think so.” He replies.

“Let’s hope so.” Louis’ raises and drops his eyebrows.

“Thanks for the pill.”

\--------

Back in the living room. ..

Niall remains quiet, averting his gaze from Liam and Zayn who are now silently whispering to each other. Liam seems to be coming back to his senses with Zayn’s gentle comforting.

“Niall.” Zayn quietly calls out. “Come here, it’s okay.” He pats the empty spot next to him on the sofa.

“Ya, sure.” Niall’s face flushes red as he walks over to the couple. Zayn puts an arm out, Niall leans down and places his own arm around Zayn’s waist patting him on the back in a single arm hug.

“’m very sorry this ‘appened teh you.” He says.

Zayn smiles weakly at him.

“I’m really sorry you got caught up with this. I wasn’t expecting the others to come soon. I was going to just give you the papers.”

“Oh ya, no rush, ‘s aright. Harreh’s makin’ me stay.”

“Harry is making everyone stay to try his stew. He has been at it for hours with his slow cooker.”

“Heyyyyy, I can hear you.” Harry’s voice comes from behind as he and Louis re-enter the living room.

Niall and Zayn laugh prompting Liam to let out a weak laugh as well.

“Dinner should be ready now.” Harry exclaims. “Niall, would you like to help me set the table?”

-“I’ll help you set the table.” Louis cuts in.

“Oh, yeah, okay.” Harry smiles at Louis.

“I can help too if you’d like.” Niall replies.

“Nah, it’s alright.” Louis walks over to the kitchen.

“We can handle it.” He turns back and winks at Niall.

Niall sits back down. He is a tad overwhelmed and uncomfortable seated next to Liam and Zayn who are whispering to each other again. He looks down to find their hands intertwined with Liam softly caressing Zayn’s hand. Niall can’t help but smile to himself as he looks away.

To be continued…


	17. Chapter Fifteen

**Setting: Harry’s condo.**

**Harry and Louis continue to set the table. Niall excuses himself to the washroom. Zayn and Liam are still whispering to one another on the couches.**

“Could you please just smile?” Zayn whispers in his ear. “I’m alright; I’m here, aren’t I?”

Liam looks down to his lap and shakes his head. “No, it’s not that Zayn.”

“What can I do to make you smile?”

“Zayn. Stop it!” He hisses.

Zayn is taken back by Liam’s tone. He is hurt by Liam lashing out at him.

Zayn stands up from his place but Liam’s hand immediately reaches out and yanks him back down aggressively. Zayn does not move nor look at Liam. He looks forward to the wall, his eyes tearing up.

Liam’s heart is caught in his throat. He is unable to register his actions. He immediately jumps down on his knees facing Zayn. He takes both his hands into his own.

“I’m so sorry Zayn, please, forgive me. Please, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I should have never handled you that way. I’m so sorry. Forgive me.” Liam cries and chokes in between his words, he rests his head in Zayn’s lap as his body trembles with cries.

\-----

**A few meters away in the kitchen, Harry and Louis turn their attention to Liam’s cries. Louis steps forward but Harry holds him back.**

“I think they need to be alone Lou.” He whispers.

“There’s that lovely Lou again.” Louis smirks. He turns to look at commotion in the living room and back to Harry. “Alright, I’ll leave it alone.”

Harry smiles. “Umm, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called you Lou.”

Louis walks back from having gathered the silver ware.

“Alright, two things Harold! One: Stop apologizing. Two: You may call me whatever you like because I’m going to call you Harold, Hazza, Harreh, whatever I’m feeling in the moment ok?”

He walks to the table. Harry does not respond. Louis turns back to find Harry staring him down.

“Excuse me!” He yells—“were you just checking out my ass as I gracefully sauntered here?”

Harry’s eyes widen with shock. “No, umm, no,” His eyes jump from right to left, “lovely strides.” He quickly covers his mouth and spins 180 turning away from Louis.

\-----

Meanwhile in the living room:

Liam moves back from Zayn’s lap. He is still choke sobbing his apologies.

“This is all my fault. It’s all my fault. I am the one to blame for what happened to you. Can’t you understand?”

Zayn shakes his head side to side, he is fighting back tears.

“It’s not your fault Liam.”

Liam’s body trembles with cries, his hands now on Zayn’s knees for support.

“It is, it is!! I should have never pushed you to come out, this would have never happened. I should have let you take your time.”

“I was ready.” Zayn replies. Tears begin spilling from his eyes. He puts a hand on Liam’s chin and draws his face up. “I made this decision Liam. You did not force me.”

Liam covers his face with hands as he cries louder.

“I will never forgive myself for this. NEVER.”

Zayn pulls on his forearms, trying to bring his hands away from his face.

“Babe, babe! It’s not your fault. Could you please listen to me?”

Zayn stretches his arms around Liam’s back and pulls him in to hold him.

\-----

**Niall walks back into the living room and stops in place when he sees Liam and Zayn. He looks over to the right where Louis and Harry stand in the kitchen motioning him over.**

“Rough night.” He comments.

“It will take some time.” Louis replies.

Harry’s phone begins to vibrate against the marble countertop. It is a call from Oxford.  Louis manages to look down in time to see the caller ID.

“Oh bugger, looks like you got caught hangin’ with your students.” He winks.

Harry looks at his phone as though he were considering what Louis said. He frowns when he goes to answer the call.

“Hello..? – Yeah, speaking.” He clears his throat.

Niall and Louis watch as Harry’s frown dissolves and his eyebrows jump in surprise.

“Oh, yes, uh, okay.”

Harry brings a hand to cover his mouth again. He does not fool the boys by covering his smile when his dimples hollow out in his cheeks.

“Yeah, thank you. Thank you very much.” He answers politely and hangs up.

“What was that?” Louis asks.

“Umm, well, I kinda just won something.” Harry tries to fight the smile on his face.

“Well not right now but like, I was nominated for an award for the thesis I wrote last year.” He pauses. “And like, just now, I was told I’m going to be the recipient of the award.”

“Congrats mate!” Niall pats Harry on the back.

Louis presses his lips together and nods. He doesn’t say much but walks away to the table.

Harry can’t help but feel a hint of jealousy in Louis’ reaction.

“So when do ya get the award then?” Niall asks.

“Well, um, the reception is in a month. I have to prepare a speech now, I guess.”

“Fancy.” Louis calls out from a distance. His eyebrows jump as his forces a pressed smile.

Harry doesn’t respond. “Alright, well are we all ready for dinner then?”

“’M starving!”

“I’ll get the lads.” Louis walks over to Zayn and Liam.

\----

“Can we just put this aside tonight, please Liam? I just can’t take anymore.”

Liam nods his head in silence.

“Thanks and please, please don’t feel like any of this your fault.” Zayn whispers as he wipes at Liam’s tears.

Liam nods again, he gently takes Zayn’s hand off his face and kisses his palm.

“I’m so sorry Zayn.” He whispers.

“Hey lads, sorry to interrupt but dinners ready.” Louis cuts in.

Zayn looks up to where Louis stands. “Yeah, we are coming.”

\----

“Dinner smells delicious.” Niall says as he takes a seat. “I miss me home cooked meals.”

“Tell me about it, I’m genuinely famished living on campus.” Louis retorts.

“Well, I hope you all like it.” Harry says as he pours stew onto everyone’s plate.

Liam and Zayn take a seat between Niall and Harry. Louis sits on the other side of Harry and an empty seat to his left.

“There’s corn bread for everybody.” Harry says as he points to the pile of cornbread in the center basket. “I’ve just taken them out of the oven, so careful… it might be hot.”

Liam smiles and nods at Harry.

“God bless ya.” Niall says as chews down a spoonful.

“Harold!” Harry quickly turns to Louis. “This is delicious!”

Harry blushes and squirms in his spot. “Thank you guys.”

“Is this lamb or beef?” Louis asks.

“It’s lamb.”

“My god, its fantastic.” Louis scarfs down his food.

“Geez Louis, you act as if you haven’t eaten in years.” Zayn remarks.

“Genuinely famished.” He replies with a mouth full of cornbread.

Harry moves his plate closer to Louis’ and spoons out stew from his plate onto Louis’.

“Oh no Harry, really its fine.” He tries to say with a mouthful and a resistant hand.

Harry shakes his head as he swallows. “Its alright Lou, you just came from a soccer game, you need all the protein.”

Louis doesn’t protest. He swallows, pauses, tilts his head a mere 10 degrees and smiles at Harry.

 “You’re quite something aren’t you?”

There is silence at the table.

Harry is flustered. His cheeks burning with heat.

Louis shakes his head. “Never mind then.”

\-----

 

To be continued.

Sorry for the short chapter. Hard to write long chapters during the week with a full time job and lover.

Thanks for reading. Z


	18. Chapter Sixteen

\----

**Setting: Harry’s condo**

After having a rather silent dinner, the group helped clear the table.

“So ‘arry ‘ere just heard he’s won an award.” Niall breaks the silence while placing his dish in the washer.

Liam turns to Harry and for the first time speaks with earnest.

“Harry, congrats! This is a big deal.” He pats him on the back.

“Maybe shoulda kept that to yourself Niall.” Louis retorts.

Niall looks taken back. “It’s his news to share.” He continues.

“I don’t mind, thanks, I appreciate it. Thank you Liam.” Harry says turning to Liam.

Louis looks to Niall whose face is flush with red. “Whatever.” Louis says as he walks away to the washroom.

Liam maintains eye contact with Harry. He walks close to him, shoulder to shoulder.

“Don’t mind him Harry.” He whispers under his breath.

\----

Harry excuses himself to wash up in his room. He leans against the vanity as he washes his hands in the basin. His thoughts run freely as he tries to decipher the bizarre behavior Louis been exhibiting all night.

_I don’t get it. We were getting on well earlier. Why the sudden change._

He remembers Louis’ comment at the dinner table.

_“You’re quite something aren’t you?”_

Harry smiles.

 _Why am I smiling._ He frowns at himself in the mirror.

_It makes me feel good when he says nice things to me. What does this mean?_

He leans his body against the wall. He remembers Louis’ compliments about his cooking. He smiles again.

 _I think I like him._ Harry covers his mouth at the thought of this.

“Oops.” He says to himself. He giggles and shakes his head.

 _Stop. Stop. Stop. No I can’t let this happen. No. I don’t even. I don’t think so. No. Louis isn’t even gay and he is my student. Stop. But that smile today. No. He did slip a lot of innuendos earlier. Probably just mocking me._ Harry returns to frowning again.

_That’s what he is good at. Mocking._

“Hi!.”

Harry turns arounds in fright. His covering his heart.

“Jesus Christ.” He looks at Louis. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

Louis smirks bowing his head down.

“What are you uh, doing here?”

“Just making sure you’re okay.”

Harry frowns. “I’m uh, fine. Thanks. Did you need another anti-acid.. or?”

Louis shakes his head no. They lock eyes.

  _There it is._

_The electricity._

_The passion._

_The thrill._

_The heat._

_Neither say a word, they are both drowning in the depths of seas of blue and green._

Harry walks out, Louis following close behind.

“I should get back to my guests.” His heart is racing out of his chest. The silence is too intense.

“I’m a guest too.” Louis says with a smile.

“Let’s go Lou.”

Harry walks out before Louis answers. He hears him following behind.

Harry steps into the living room just as Niall takes a call and Zayn and Liam returning from the balcony from what Harry supposes was a quick smoke.

Harry takes a seat across Zayn and Liam. Niall stands in the off corner of the kitchen.

“ello? Mum?”

Harry looks over to Niall in the far corner. He wonders what Niall’s parents are like. Probably easy going Irish folks like himself. He thinks about how little he knows about his students. Louis comes and takes a seat next to him.

“What?” Niall shrieks.

“What???”

They all look to Niall whose back is to them.

“No. no. Can’t be.” He half yells, half cries into the phone. His hands shoot up to cover his face, his shoulders hunch forward as his body bends on itself. “Oh God, no! Mum, no!” Niall is now crying. Harry and Zayn jolt from their places and run to him.

“Zayn!” Liam shouts as he follows behind him. Liam puts an arm around his waist, keeping him upright. Niall leans his head against Harry’s wall as he cries into the phone.

“’M coming home. ‘M going to be there on the earliest flight.”

Harry places a hand on Niall’s back, he and Zayn stand on either side of Niall who is now crying down to the floor. He clicks his phone off and drops it. Louis walks over to the gathered crowd slowly.

 _Fucking group is all drama_. He thinks to himself.

“What’s going on Niall?” Harry yells out in panic. Harry, Zayn and Liam are now on the floor with Niall. Limbs everywhere, everyone seeming to comfort everyone.

Louis stands over the crowd. He looks down, curious to hear Niall’s news.

“’M sorry.” He cries out loudly.

 _Geez, his talking voice is loud but who would’ve thought his crying voice would be louder._ Louis thinks.

“Hey, hey.” Harry pats him on the back. Louis watches. He is not happy.

Zayn is now crying with Niall despite not knowing the cause of his pains. This overwhelming day is too overbearing on his already fragile mental state. He surrenders in to his emotions and begins to sob.

“What is going on guys?” Louis asks.

“Me brother.” Niall cries. “Me brother just passed away.” He looks up at Louis and Harry. Harry’s grip on him gets firmer as he pulls him in close. A rush of hot jealousy runs through Louis’ body.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry.” Liam says.  Zayn squeezes Niall’s hand for reassurance.

“I’m sorry too.” Harry replies with a smooth sympathetic tone.

Louis bends down and grabs Harry’s hands, he pulls them off Niall and squeezes between the pair. He pats Niall on the back. “I’m sorry for the loss Nialler.” He whispers. “What can we do for you?”

“I need to get ‘ome.” Niall says with a tremble.

Louis’ jealousy fades as sympathy paves way into his heart. He could not imagine losing any one of his siblings. He loves his family so much and would sacrifice his own life for theirs.

“Shit Nialler. I’m really, really sorry.” Louis repeats.

Harry places an arm around Louis’ waist unable to get hold of Niall.

Louis feels bliss. Just pure ecstasy taking over his body. The sensation of peace and tranquility is seeping in his body from his head down to his toes like a natural pain killer. He secretly wishes they can all stay huddled on the floor like this for some time.

“Zayn babe. Please stop, you’re doing more damage to yourself. You need to lay down.” Liam breaks the silence, slowly crouching up from the floor. “Niall, should we start looking into flights for you- I’m not sure how you plan on getting home? I’m sure Harry has a laptop somewhere around here.” He scans the room looking over their heads.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.  I’ll go grab it.” Harry gets up, his eyes unusually wide like a deer in headlights. He spins around his arms flailing in the air.

 _Fuck._ Louis thinks. _Couldn’t just wait another minute?_

“’M flying back.” Niall manages to say between sobs.

Liam nods and follows Harry inside.

“Niall, let’s move you to the couch yeah? Zayn needs to lay down.” Louis tells him.

Niall nods and lets Louis help him and Zayn up.

“So did they say the cause of death?” Louis asks hesitantly. “You don’t need to answer if it’s like private or somethin’”

Niall shakes his head as he takes a tissue from Zayn’s hand.

“Suicide.” He presses his lips together and blows his nose into the tissue.

Zayn squeezes his side.

“I’m sorry mate.” Louis takes a seat next to him. “I don’t mean to pry but is that who you were talking to at Liam’s the other night?”

“Yeah.” Niall nods his head slowly. He lets out another cry. “Was the last time we spoke.” Zayn leans into him, they fall back onto the couch into each other’s embraces.

Louis exhales loudly. “Rough day.”

Zayn nods.

“Niall.” Liam calls out as he and Harry walk in with an open faced laptop.

“The earliest flight out to London isn’t till tomorrow at 14:00.” He and Harry kneel on the floor by the glass table.

“The only other option would be Ferry.” Harry says.

“I could drive you up to Liverpool and then you can catch the Ferry at 5:00.” Liam says.  

Niall shakes his head. “Couldn’t ask ya to do that. Will just take a bus or a train there.”

“No buses or trains after 22:00. It’s already 21:12.” Zayn whispers to him.

“It’s only a three-hour drive Niall. It’s no big deal.”

“You should go with Liam mate; you can use some company.” Louis adds in.

Niall does not respond. He presses his lips in a tight smile and nods at Liam. His face is red and stained with tears.

Liam continues talking to Niall about travel arrangements and dropping by the residence to pick up some belongings before they depart.

Louis looks to Harry who is kneeling by his side. Harry catches his gaze, looking slightly less panicked then before. Louis studies Harry and in a moment reads into him. _Harry doesn’t know how to deal with catastrophes like this._ Louis could tell by the anxious look on Harry’s face. He pats the spot next to him on the couch and Harry doesn’t hesitate. He willingly obeys and rises to sit next to Louis. Louis places an arm around his waist.

“You okay Harry?” He whispers into his right ear.

Harry nods. “Yeah.” He pauses. “I think so.” He goes back to looking spaced out.

Louis squeezes his sides.

Harry likes this. He likes being held by Lou. A lot. He hates to admit it but he doesn’t remember the last time he felt this way about being held by anyone. He can’t let this happen. But he must because right now he feels likes he belongs to him. Because right now, this feels right. No, no. stop. Niall’s brother just passed away. Zayn was beat up for being gay and all this is happening in his home.

Harry snaps back to reality when he is startled by Zayn’s phone vibrating on the table. Zayn takes his phone from Liam who reaches for it.

It’s a text message from his mum.

_Love. I think its best you sleep at a friend’s tonight. Dad’s still riled up. Just needs to sleep on this. Sorry I can’t call, he’s been going off all evening. I love you sweetie. XX_

A second message follows within seconds.

_Give my best to Liam. Tell him to take care of my baby. =)_

Despite the cheery tone and happy face emoticon, Zayn knows behind the screen his mother is a wreck.

“Everything okay?” Liam asks.

“Uh.. ---Yeah, I won’t be going home tonight.”

“You can stay here until I drop off Niall. I can come get you in the morning.” Liam tells him.

“Oh no, it’s fine. I’m going to go to Louis’ I’ve already taken up too much of Harry’s time and space.”

Harry shakes his head. “No, its fine. Really Zayn. Not an inconvenience.”

“Thanks Harry, you’ve done enough but I’d like to stay with Louis tonight.”

Louis begins to panic.

“Harry’s got a spare room and everything, you don’t want to come back to my tiny room.” He insists.

“I just need down time with you Louis, I’m glad for everyone’s support today but I’m in need of some privacy now.”

Louis panics more.

“Alright, I’ll come pick you up from Louis’ in the morning then.” Liam says

“That’s alright Liam. I actually plan on staying with Louis for a while. I’m just…” He takes a short breath. “I’m just not ready to get back in with you.” He forces a smile. “Just until I settle everything.”

Liam shakes his head as though he does not understand what Zayn’s implying. But he does.

“Okay, yeah. Um, sure.” He says. “Whenever you’re ready then Zayn.”

“I need to speak to you inside. Now.” Louis whispers into Harry’s ear.

Louis gives another gentle pat on Niall’s back before getting up. “We will be right back.” He announces.

Harry gets up and follows him inside. Louis pulls Harry into the guest room and closes the door behind them.

“You need to convince Zayn to stay with you tonight. He can’t come with me.” Louis exclaims.

“Um.. okay.” He pauses, looking mildly confused. “I-I tried but he said he wanted to be with you Lou.”

“Gotta try harder.”

“I can’t just force him Louis. Why can’t he stay with you?”

“He just can’t. I can’t have him over.”

“Umm.. I’m really not sure what is going on.” Harry says.

“I—I am just going to be busy tonight.”

“Too busy for your friend who just got thrown out from his own home?” Harry frowns, his tone becoming aggressive.

Louis’ hands are on his hips. He is shifting on his feet and looking all around the room, avoiding Harry’s gaze.

“Yeah, okay, I’m busy. I can’t tell him I can’t have him over but you can talk him into staying here so I can avoid having to tell him no.”

He is beginning to sound nervous.

“Lou, what is going on?” Harry asks.

“I’m- I’m having a girl over tonight okay?”

Harry is taken back by shock and what seems to be a hint of disappointment and hurt.

“A- a girl?”

“Yeah, Harry. A girl. You have a problem with that?”

“You are choosing a girl over your best mate who needs you right now?”

Louis shifts on his feet again. He jaw is tightly clenched.

“It’s not like that. I just, its --- its been a long time planning and all, she’s only in town tonight okay?”

Harry doesn’t respond. His hands are on his hips shadowing Louis’ move. His eyes turn dark with anger. A feeling he is rarely consumed by.

“Don’t look me at like that Harry. Just don’t. Okay?”

“You’re a shitty friend.” Harry pushes past Louis and walks out the room.

\---

Liam is talking to Niall who has calmed down from earlier. His nose was still lingering with redness. Zayn was still leaning into Niall. Harry comes around the other end of the sofa where Zayn is seated.

“Zayn, the room is all set for you. I’d really prefer for you to stay here tonight. I will not speak to you or bother you. You can have all privacy you want but I want you here so that I can like care for you and stuff. I think you’d be more comfortable here in your own, um…bed.” He looks up at Louis with the same anger in his eyes from a moment ago.

“And I really am tired from the footy match, having an upset stomach and all, I won’t be able to care for you really.” Louis adds in.

Liam looks at Zayn. He is definitely heart broken. His tightly drawn eyebrows reveal it all. Liam keeps a hand on Niall’s knee. “You should sleep in a comfortable bed, your body needs proper rest.” He says.

“Yeah, alright.” He says as he looks to Harry. “I’ll stay with you tonight.”

Harry smiles and squeezes his shoulder.

“Niall, I’m sorry again. I really need to crash now. I won’t get a chance to say bye later so give my condolences to the family, safe travels and don’t worry about the project ok? I’ll get it sorted with the Professor.”

“Thanks Zayn. I hope ya feel better too.” Niall says as they hug each other teary eyed.

\------

Zayn says good night to Louis and Liam and is led by Harry to the room who provides him with a pair of spare pajamas. Harry returns to find the group having small talk about road trips.

“Don’t you have to get going?” He asks Louis coldly.

“Oh, um, yeah. I should get going. Nialler, we will catch up when you are back. Stay strong mate.”

Harry leads Louis to the door. He is terribly upset with the choice Louis has made tonight. He should have known better, thinking Louis was a nice person. He feels silly having thought how good it felt in his arms earlier. He should have known Louis was trouble. A knifing and manipulative cunt. It’s what Harry feels right to call Louis in this moment.

“I hope she’s worth it!” Harry says as he opens the door for him. Louis doesn’t respond he zip’s his sweater up and digs his hands in his pocket.

“Good night Harry.” And he is off. Louis walks a few steps before the door closes behind him. He finds himself standing still. He leans against the wall of the corridor and lets his back slide down until he is squatting over the floor. He has never EVER felt more miserable, lonely and upset before. His eyes swell with tears.

He could’ve had him. He almost had Harry but he just couldn’t think of any other excuse for tonight.  He couldn’t possibly bring himself to tell Harry he is homeless and couldn’t take Zayn in.

Louis’ hot tears stream down his face. Tonight was great. It was so great being so close to Harry. In his own home. Eating proper food again. Surrounded by company. Despite the circumstances and all the tragic events within the past few hours, it really was the greatest time he has had in a very long time. Louis drags his body off the floor and heads for the elevators. Tonight, he will have to sneak into the change rooms and sleep on the wooden benches. His locker is stuffed with sweaters that he’ll be using to stay warm.

\-----

Back in the condo Harry and Liam continue to console Niall into the night. Niall and Liam set out at 1330 to pick up his belongings from his room and drive out to Liverpool for the morning ferry. Harry takes his place in bed and revisits all the things that occurred. He thinks about Zayn coming to his office in the morning. And he thinks about how he felt when finding out that he will be recipient of the award to how he found Zayn in the back lot covered in dried blood and tears. He recalls how he felt when he found himself alone with Louis in his bathroom twice and how Niall’s shriek’s on the phone sounded. There were plenty of tears and plenty of good moments but nothing eats him to the core more than the feeling of hurt right now. In this solitude and silence, all he can think about is Louis with the girl from out of town sharing a bed together.


	19. Chapter Seventeen

**Setting: Porting gate in Liverpool**

“So remember what I’ve told you Niall.” Liam says as he takes the boy into a hug. “It’s not your fault that you weren’t there. There’s nothing you could have done differently.”

“Thanks mate.” Niall replies with a sniffle. He engrosses himself in Liam’s arms, holding on for comfort.

“And like I said, when you find out how you’ll be coming back, tell me so I know if I’m picking you up in London or from here. Don’t shy out on me. I’m not a stranger.”

Niall nods his head that’s resting on Liam’s shoulder.

“Thanks. I’ll let ya know.”

\--------  
**Setting: Harry’s Condo**

  
Harry rolls out of bed at 6am. He remembers Zayn’s sleeping at his place. He walks over clumsily, his bare feet hitting flat against the cold marble tiles.

“Zayn?” Harry whispers as he opens the door.

“Baby?” Zayn responds. He lifts his head off the pillow.

Harry takes a few more steps towards the bed. He scratches his head.

“No its me, Harry.”

“Oh Harry.” He rests his head back down. “What are you doing up so early.” He groans.

Harry stops at the foot of the bed. He clears his throat. “I always wake up this early.”

“And do you always wake around in your little tighty whities?” Zayn winks at him.

Harry smiles like a little child, his dimples deepening in his cheeks.

“Heyyyyy…” Zayn pats the empty spot next to him in bed. Harry follows suit and lays down next to him.

He perks himself up on his right elbow, looking down at Zayn.

“Your face looks terrible today.”

“Thanks Harry.” Zayn mocks.

Harry leans down and kisses Zayn’s cheek.

Zayn giggles.

“Thanks Harry. You are something else.”

“Heyyyy.” Harry pauses. A more serious look washes over his face. “Louis said that to me yesterday.”

“Why are you upset about it?”

Harry shrugs.

“He means it well Harry. It wasn’t to offend you.”

“I know.” Harry responds slowly.

“Well actually. Sometimes, I…. I don’t know.”

“You have a hard time reading people?” Zayn asks him.

“Sorta.” He pauses. He begins to play with a loose thread on the duvet cover. “But yesterday, I could tell you and Liam were happy to be together.”

Zayn smiles. He and Harry lock eyes.

“Were you happy?” Harry asks him.

“More than you will ever know.” Zayn responds quietly.

“Why did you send him away then?” Harry asks earnestly.

“I want to sort out my family dilemma first. I don’t want to have to offer Liam just half of me.” He pauses and looks down to where Harry’s finger is twirling around the thread. “If I’m going in, I’m going in with a clean, positive slate. No problems. No stress. No drama.”

“Okay.” Harry answers.

He and Zayn lock eyes again.

“How do you know you love him?” Harry asks.

Zayn clears his throat; he holds back a smile but it is quickly revealed when he begins talking again.

“I think you just know Harry. There is no formula for it.” Harry continues to look at him, his eyes growing more intent.

Zayn slightly nods. “It’s the feelings. They make you feel things no one else can.” He shrugs. “There’s a reciprocal and mutual feeling. You both just know it.”

Harry’s wide eyes take up a good quarter of his face. He nods and snaps back to reality.

“Zayn…” He quietly says. “I think… I think I like Louis.”

Zayn strains his neck in half lift up and press back motion.

“You think you like Louis?”

Harry nods quietly. He clears his throat again. “But Louis doesn’t feel the same way.”

He looks down at his own finger as he remembers Louis excuse to deny Zayn hospitality. He hurts all over again.

“What makes you think Louis doesn’t like you?”

Harry looks back to Zayn. He hesitates. He has never discussed his feelings with anyone besides his own mother in his early years but he has found comfort. There is something different about Zayn that sets him apart and he feels that he can trust him.

_But he is Louis’ best friend. But he puts me at ease. Maybe he will take my side on this. Besides, he is in my home. He did call me yesterday. He didn’t even call Liam._

Harry’s thoughts race as he contemplates telling Zayn the whole truth.

“Because Louis likes women.” He finally answers.

Zayn lets out a mocking laugh.

“And where’d you get that piece of wisdom?”

Harry looks at Zayn uncomfortably. He squirms in place a bit. His fingers untangle from the thread and starts spinning around it quicker.

“Okay.” He says. “I didn’t want to have to tell you this but…”

He bites on his bottom lip as he looks into Zayn’s eyes.

“Louis didn’t want you over tonight because he was getting with a girl from out of town.”

Zayn is taken back, his chin is pushing into his neck and his eyebrows are furrowed with confusion.

“That’s not possible Harry. Louis is gay.”

Harry feels a bit relieved but he continues to front.

“He brought me in the room to tell me to convince you to stay here for that reason.”

Zayn lets out a little laugh.

“Wow. And all along I thought every time you two ran off together was to sneak in some kisses behind our backs.”

“What?” Harry’s face flushes.

“What? Don’t act like it isn’t obvious. Everyone already thinks you are two are secret lovers.” 

“Everyone?” Harry yelps.

“Okay, maybe just Liam and I.”

Harry is shaking his head. “No, no! We are not. I don’t think Louis likes me anyway.”

“You are right about something.” Zayn places his hand on Harry’s forearm, stopping him from playing with the thread. “He probably loves you, not likes you.”

“What?-“ He pauses. “You- you think Louis loves me?”

Zayn rolls on the bed to face Harry; he winces as the bruises on his body begin to ache.

“I don’t think Harry. I know he does. He is always talking about.” Harry continues to look at Zayn in silence.

“I mean, do you not pick up from the way he acts around you?”

Harry shakes his head.

“Well, believe it Harry. He likes you.”

“Then why would he tell me he is going home to a girl?”

Zayn shakes his head, his face turns more serious.

“I don’t know. It’s strange.” Zayn looks a bit distant as he immerses himself in deep thoughts.

 “Lately he has been a bit off. We used to hang out a lot in his room and study together but he is never around anymore.”

“Well never mind him. You can stay here for as long as you want. Really. I enjoy company.”

Zayn puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“Thanks Harry. Means a lot.”

“Are you in a lot of pain?” Harry asks with a gentle voice.

“A bit, wouldn’t be much different if I played in the game yesterday.”

“Are you going to any classes today?”

“I don’t think so. Think I’m going to sit out a bit until the bruises heal a bit.”

Harry nods understandingly.

“The apartment is all yours. You can eat, wear, use and do whatever you like. I have a class to teach at 11 though. I will come home right after.”

Zayn smiles. He squeezes Harry’s shoulder.

“Thanks Harry. In return, I will try to find out about this rubbish Lou’s told you.” He winks.

Harry smiles again with the dimples concaving on his face.

“I’m going to go make you breakfast and bring you some ice.”

Zayn makes a pouty face. “Can I have you instead?”

“Heyyyyy.. You’ve got Liam” He whines. Harry’s dimples crater so deep, he leans in and kisses Zayn’s cheek again. Zayn puts his arm across Harry’s back and keeps him in for a tight embrace.

“Actually Harry, since you are going to campus, can I ask you for a favor?”

“Sure.” Harry says as he slowly rolls off the bed.

“Could you please go to my locker in the men’s change room at the stadium? I have a few pairs of wife beaters and boxers in there. I’d really appreciate it if you can bring them to me.”

“Yeah, of course. Just give me your locker number and combination.”

“I will text them to you.” Zayn winks at Harry again.

\-------

Harry arrives at the stadium at 8:30 he walks up to the gatekeeper.

“Hi, um, I’m a professor here.” Harry shows him his Oxford ID. “I’m here to pick up, um…” He pauses.

“Yeah, right this way sir.” The man unlocks the outside gate.

“Men’s locker room?” Harry asks him.

“Yeah, just to your left sir.” He answers.

“Thanks.” Harry nods and lowers his head as he walks to the change room.

He takes out his phone as he walks to pull up Zayn’s text.

“281” He whispers under his breath.

He pushes the door and enters. He looks at the walls of lockers.

 _155… 159.._ He turns the left corner at the end of the one hundred lockers.

He stops in place immediate. A feeling of surprise, shock and bewilderment take over his body.

“Louis?” He shouts.

Louis immediately shoots up, staggering in place.

“Harry?” He looks as surprised as Harry.

“What?”- Harry pauses.

“What are you doing in here!?” Louis yells at him.

Harry is taken back by Louis’ confrontational tone.

“I’m-“ ---“I’m, um, just.”

He scans louis up and down, sweaters that were covering Louis are now on the floor.

“What are you looking at!?” Louis shouts again as he frantically picks up the scattered sweaters.

“What- I’m here to …-“ Harry takes  a deep breath in. “to pick up Zayn’s stuff from his locker.”

Harry’s body is shaking from freight and anxiety.

“Where-“ He pauses again. “Where you sleeping here?” Harry asks him.

“No!—no!” Louis responds.

Harry is so immersed by the situation that he forgets all the talk he had with Zayn earlier.

“Why—you said you were going to sleep with a girl from out of town. Why are you here?” He finally manages to say with a trembling voice.

Louis hesitates. He begins to fold up his sweaters frantically.

“I, I was. I did. I’m just here because.” He pauses looking towards his locker and turning away from Harry.

He jolts back in place, “because things didn’t go well last night okay? I let her stay in my room, being a gentleman and all and came here for the night. That’s all.”

Harry doesn’t look convinced but he accepts his answer.

“Why don’t you just pick up Zayn’s stuff then?” Louis retorts.

Harry presses his lips together and looks at the nearest locker. 279. He scans the numbers down ther row. Louis is standing between 280 and 281.

“Excuse me.” He says.

Louis moves back and lets Harry through. Harry looks at his phone again and begins to spin Zayn’s lock clockwise.  He reaches to the top shelf where he sees a stack of neatly folded clothes. He grabs the stack of wife beaters and boxers and places them in his briefcase. His hands still shake and he does not say a word to Louis who is now seated down on the bench with his head tightly held.

He closes Zayn’s locker and hooks the lock back on. He turns to leave but is interrupted by Louis’ voice.

“Harry.”

Harry stops in place but does not look back to Louis.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Louis says gently.

Zayn’s words immediately enter Harry’s thoughts. _He loves you. I don’t think. I know it._

Harry feels his face burn. A new feeling takes over his body.

An excitement.

He feels awakened and enticed.

Harry turns back to Louis slowly.

“It’s alright. I like, startled you and all.”

He looks at Louis’ face which is equally flushed red. Harry can’t help but notice something growing in his peripheral vision. He looks down to Louis’ crotch to find a rising tent inside his pants.

_Fuck._

Harry looks away quickly as Louis covers his lap with one of the sweaters.

“I- I should get going. I need to prepare for class.”

Louis nods in agreement.

“Yeah…. ya.” He responds.

“Okay, um, I will see you in class.”

Harry turns around, his eyes growing wild as he walks away.

He exits the change room.

 _WHAT WAS THAT?_ He yells inside his mind.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.


	20. Chapter Eighteen

**Setting: Harry and Liam’s office.**

Harry is sitting at his desk trying extremely hard to focus on Judith Butler’s _Undoing Gender_ after having spent his thoughts on Louis’ raging boner while walking to his office. He opens all the sticky tabs on the book to go over the main arguments for today’s lecture. It does not help that ‘sex’ is written all over these pages.  A  knock comes at the door. Harry is startled. The door is pushed open and a dazed Liam walks in.

“Sorry mate.” Liam says.

“Liam. Hi.” – “Why did you um, knock on the door?”

“I haven’t slept all night Harry, I’d be lucky if I remember how to get to my class today.”

“Oh, right, yeah.” Harry bites on the end of his pen. “So, um how was Niall when you dropped him off?”

Liam falls down in his chair, reclines back and exhales a long breath.

“The past 12 or 16 or however many hours have been a complete disaster innit Harry?”  Harry nods as Liam folds his hands behind his head and crosses one leg over. “Niall, was alright, was starting to calm before we reached. Still shocked and all. Not talking a lot. He seemed to blame himself for not being there. Says his brother’s had mental illness all his life.” Liam sighs again as he spins his chair to face Harry.

“Oh-” Harry shakes his head. “Didn’t know that.”

“Yeah.” Liam responds sympathetically, “And, how’s Zayn doing?”

“He is alright. He will be staying with me until things get better.”

Liam does not respond. He brings his hands down to his lap and starts fiddling his thumbs.

Harry clears his throat.

“Liam, he still loves you. He just needs space to patch things up with his parents.”

“Yeah, no, I get it Harry, really.”

“You can come visit him whenever you’d like.”

“If he is okay with that, then I’d very much like to.” Liam responds.

Harry nods his head in agreement.

\------  
  
**Setting: Queer Literature class.**

In class, Louis sits in the front row where he has recently relocated to sit next to Niall. Niall’s seat is empty. There is an air of melancholy in the lecture hall as if the walls in themselves were in mourning. It does not help that the skies outside are covered in thick dark clouds. Louis looks clean-shaven, though he is not in his usual preppy attire. Harry thinks of how long it has been since Louis’ adorned his fancy suits to class; His belts were always fitted to match his shiny shoes and his silk handkerchiefs always complemented his braces.  Harry wonders why the sudden change but his mind is creeping with other thoughts that weigh him down. He thinks about the girl from out of town. He wonders what may have happened. He thinks about Zayn’s confirmation that Louis in fact likes him. Harry wouldn’t have believed this if he hadn’t seen Louis’ boner this morning _. Louis is attracted to me._ He smiles _. No. It is just morning wood. Everyone gets them. It means nothing._ He frowns.

The lecture goes smoothly. There is no time for discussion. Louis does not interrupt. _It has been a while since he’s spoke in class,_ Harry thinks. Louis does not look at Harry. His mind is deep set on the notes he scribbles into his notepad. Something, Harry does not see often. Ever.

\------

**Setting: Harry’s condo**

Zayn is lying in bed after having come back from the washroom. He picks up his phone and calls his mum.

It rings five times. There is no answer. He hangs up.

His phone lights up after he throws it on the bed. It’s his mum calling back.

“Hello love, how are you feeling today?” She asks with concern in her voice.

“I’m feeling better, thanks mum. How are you? How is everything at home?”

“It’s alright. Just going through that silence after the storm I guess. Your father’s insisting on ignoring me today.”

Zayn sighs. “Oh mum, I’m so sorry to have—“

“No- no! what did I tell you about apologizing! You will not apologize for who you are. Just give it some time, I will try speaking to him tonight. He just needs time.”

“Yeah mum.” Zayn whispers. “It’s fine.”

“I’m just worried about bringing you back, it’ll be adding more fuel to the fire, what do you think?”

“Its fine mum. I’ll stay here for the week I guess.”

“Are you staying with Liam? Give him my best. I gotta go help a client love.”

“No, um, I’ m staying with Liam’s friend, Harry.”

“Oh. Okay. I don’t think I ever met Harry. Give him best and tell him thank you. Actually, tell him to call me. I would like to speak to him.”

“He’s not here now but I will let him know. Thanks mum.”

“Okay sweetums, I love you. Take care of yourself!”

“You too mum. I love you.”

Zayn hangs up and clicks on the messaging icon. He pulls up Louis’ name and starts to text.

_Hi Lou, what’s this rubbish about you sleeping with a girl last night?_

He plops back down on the pillows and lays on the less painful side. His phone vibrates in his hand.

_L: The fuckin’ shit head. Can’t keep his mouth shut?_

Zayn grins at the response.

His phone vibrates again.

_L: It’s not what you think it is_

Zayn responds:

Z _: If you didn’t want me to sleep over at your place you could’ve just said so instead of breaking Harry’s heart, mate._

\--- on the other end.

Louis’ panic sets in. He is caught in his lie. He doesn’t know how to answer. There is no excuse. He does not have an alibi. How did he not foresee Harry telling Zayn and hurting them both in the process? He bites down on his lip and punches the wall in the school’s hall. A few heads turn around.

_Fuck._

_Z: We need to talk Lou._

Louis is agitated with himself. He kicks at the wall. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

_L: Sure._

_Z: Come to Harry’s tonight._

Louis spins on the spot. Fuck. _Harry’s again?_ He is aching for a cigarette but he knows he can’t afford to buy them anymore.

_L: Yup. See you there._

_\-------_

Meanwhile in Ireland.

**Setting: Ireland**

Niall endured the most tensional car ride with his parents. Neither expressed their grief or mourning when they hugged him at the port. They drove in silence. Niall sat in the back seat with many questions running through his head but he remained silent. He did not want to evoke feelings in his parents. In fact, he did not know whether he could. Their family was always like this. Emotionally barred and lacked of any sentiment. He and his brother Greg were the only two who seemed to express their thoughts and feelings with each other. It was for this reason, Greg was close to him. When they were younger, Niall always felt a sense of obligation and duty to look after him despite him being the younger one. He never understood why his brother was the way he was. His parents never talked about it. When Greg was 18 they sent him away to a mental health and addiction institute. His was handful, his parents would tell him. Niall would spend his time after school at the centre with his brother. He never really made friends except the occasional acquaintances at school. Greg would be jealous. Niall would devote all his free time to him. They were brothers and best friends. _He must’ve been very lonely._ Niall thinks. When Niall left for England, he promised Greg he’d call him every day. It hadn’t occurred to him that it’d be hard staying on top of his course work, attending lectures and trying to keep up with his brother. He was feeling remorseful at having broken his promise. _It’s all my fault_ , Niall reminds himself. _All my fault…_ He looks outside the window and tries his to hold back the tears in his eyes from spilling onto his cheeks.

\----------

**Setting: Oxford Law Library**

Louis is seated at a desk typing away on an essay for his torts and contracts class. He is distracted when a notification on the bottom right hand corner shoots up. It is an email from the Faculty of Law- Dean’s office.

Louis opens the email, he imagines it’s a generic email sent out to the entire faculty.

Except, it’s not.

It’s a personal email addressed to him:

_Attn: Mr. Louis Tomlinson,_

_You are asked to attend the Dean’s office during office hours at your earliest convenience._

_ZBA_

_Assistant to the Dean_  
Faculty of Law  
University of Oxford

Hmmm.. He frowns as he rereads the email and tries to imagine a thousand reasons why they would summon him to the office.

 _I couldn’t have pissed off Mr. Hanson that much._ He thinks. _They can’t possibly think I plagiarized one of my essays do they?_

Louis gets up from his seat and collects his books. He shuts off his laptop and decides to make forth to the office prior to its closure.

\-----  
  
**Setting: Harry’s Condo**

Harry drops his keys on the counter and walks to the guest room. Zayn is up, playing on his phone.

“I’m home.” Harry sighs as he takes a seat next to Zayn.

“How was teaching today?” Zayn asks.

“Um, just the usual.” He pauses. “Are you feeling any better?”

“I’m fine Harry.”

“Hey, can you text Niall and see how he’s doing?” Harry points at Zayn’s phone. “I don’t have his number.”

Zayn nods, he immediately pulls up Niall’s name and texts him.

_Hey mate, how are you feeling today? We are all thinking of you._

“I spoke to Lou earlier, he is coming tonight. I hope you don’t mind I invited him here.”

Harry shakes his head. “I don’t mind.” His face is burning with redness as he recalls the visual from this morning.

“Liam wants to know if he could visit.” Harry says, interrupting his own heated thoughts.

“Uhhh..” Zayn groans, he waves his hands in the air. “Yeah, sure, whatever man.”

Harry nods, presses his lips together. The pair fall silent as Zayn looks back to his screen.

_From Niall: ’m feeling aright. Thanks.  Wish you guys were here with me._

“I saw something weird today.” Harry says with wide, spaced out eyes.

Zayn waits for him to continue but Harry looks as if he growing more distant in his thoughts.

“And what was that Harry?”

“Um, I found Louis sleeping in the change room. Oh! I brought your tanks and boxers!” He jumps off the bed and runs out to the hallway.

“You found Lou sleeping in the change room!?” Zayn yells out as Harry runs back inside the room and drops the clothes on the foot of the bed.

“Um, yeah. He was like, covered in his sweaters and um, he got hard.” Harry bites his bottom lip. “When he saw me. He got hard.” He repeats.

Zayn stares at Harry with a questioning look on his face.

“Why was Louis sleeping in the change room?” Zayn asks.

“Um, he said things didn’t work out with the girl and that… He left and let her have the room for the night.”

Zayn frowns. He looks incredibly put off with Harry’s statement.

“Not sure what Louis’ up to,” Zayn swallows and purses his lips, “but I’m going to find out tonight. This is not like him.” He states.

Harry shrugs.

“He got hard.” He says again, looking at Zayn with soft, sparkling eyes.

Zayn reaches for Harry’s hand and squeezes.

“Who wouldn’t?” He smiles. Harry squirms in his place, smiling to himself.

He quickly glances back to Zayn.

“Um, mashed potatoes or roast potatoes tonight?”

“Hmmm..”  Zayn hums… “Mashed potatoes!” He answers.  
  
Harry leaves the room looking rather pleased with himself. Zayn continues to text Niall.

\---------  
**Setting: Oxford- Faculty of Law- Dean’s Office**

“So, Mr. Tomlinson.” The Dean pushes his glasses further up his nose.

“We got report this morning that the team is pulling out your scholarship.”

Louis’ gut jumps up into his throat.

“WHAT!?!” He stands up from his seat. “No, this can’t be right. I don’t think you got the right person.”

“Please have a seat Mr. Tomlinson.”  He says with a stern tone.

“Your coach came to speak to me directly. Apparently your performance has dropped and he doesn’t think he wants you part of the squad next year.”

“Rubbish!! It’s my last year next year, he can’t just take me off the team!”

“Yes-yes, they can.”

“My performance isn’t terrible, I don’t know what they’re talking about!!!”

Louis knows this isn’t true, he has been playing poorly ever since he’s been homeless. His energy is not the same anymore.

“Mr. Tomlinson, you can bring this up with your coach as I have no place to comment on this matter. I have called you in to inquire on how you plan to pay the rest of your tuition for your remaining year here at Oxford. You will need to update the registrar with your financial planning so that we can keep you in the program. Is this understood?”

Louis is sinking in his seat. He never saw this coming. He has worked so hard to get into law school. He has maintained his grades and remains on top of his class. He did not think the team would ever pull out his scholarship _. No. No_. Louis shakes his head in disbelief.

He stands up again, looking pale and frightened. He runs out the office, he can hear the Dean calling after him as he frantically makes his escape.

Louis runs outside the school into the pouring rain. He runs, not sure where he is running but he is running and crying at the same time. Tears are building up, blurring his vision. He does not stop. He keeps running. He’s off the campus grounds. He keeps running between roads and streets and neighborhoods, alley ways and parking lots and right in front of mini shops and OHHH!

Louis crashes into a door. A door that’s pushed ajar by a customer walking out of the mini mart.

To be continued….


	21. Chapter Nineteen

**We might be looking at Chapter 25 being the last chapter. We are almost done. I hope you are all enjoying it so far. -Z**

 

**\------**

**Setting: Outside the food mart just ways off the Oxford campus.**

 

“Oiiiiiii” Louis cries out as crashes to the floor. He holds his head and winces in pain.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorrryyy! I’m”—the tall figure with a carton of milk and bag of groceries kneels down to where Louis is lying flat on his back.

“Louis?” He asks.

Louis looks up and through his blurry teared eyes makes out the figure next to him (mostly due to his deep voice.)

“Can’t you be more careful with opening the doors on the streets!?” He yells.

“I’m so sorry, are you- are you okay. Oh lord.” Harry panics as he sets down his groceries.

“’M fine, I’m fine. Stop touching me!” Louis yells.

“Oh, sorry. Yeah.” Harry retreats and looks at Louis remorsefully. “Lou, I’m so sorry- so – so- sorry.”

“Its fine.” He pulls himself off the floor, hoping Harry hadn’t noticed that the wetness on his face is in fact tears and not rain.

“Lou-“ Harry calls out as Louis begins to walk away. Louis doesn’t turn back completely.

“What is it Harold?”

“Are you-“ He pauses,  “why are you crying?”

“Dammit” Louis whispers under his breath as Harry picks up his groceries and walks towards him.

Harry doesn’t wait on Louis to answer him.

“Here.” He says as he passes the carton of milk to Louis. Harry pulls out an umbrella from the other bag and opens it above them.

“Come home with me?” Harry asks him.

Louis hesitates.

“Zayn said you were- uh, coming… going to come tonight.” Harry reasons.

Louis switches his weight from his right foot to his left foot. He stuffs the carton of milk under his underarm.

“Yeah.” He whispers. “let’s go then.”

Harry leads them down the street under his umbrella. He does not press Louis further and waits patiently to push him into talking at home.

“’M making mashed potatoes and chicken tonight.” He says as they walk down a quiet residential street.

“Sounds great Harry.” Louis says uninterested.

“Did you enjoy the lecture today?”

“Yes.” Louis rolls his eyes.

“If you don’t mind me asking, um.. why did you enroll in my class?”

It’s silent.

“I mean like.. you are in law and all, why are you taking a literature class?”

Louis exhales deeply.

“You want the truth Harry?”

Harry nods, though he is not sure Louis picks up on it.

“I read all the bulletins and articles in the Oxford newsletter. I also subscribe to their Professor’s list. When I saw your picture- I mean- your name.” Louis frowns and shakes his head. “I read your profile and saw that you were classified as a genius so I— “ Louis licks his lips and turns to look at Harry. “I took up your class to compete with you.” He admits.

“Compete?” Harry repeats.

“Yes compete.” Louis says licking his lips again. “I have a complex.” He shakes his head.

“I see.” Harry coughs and frowns. _Liam was right. Louis wanted to challenge him._

“I work hard alright?” Louis pauses. “I wanted to see what it takes to be considered a genius, I wanted to .. Outdo you I suppose, to earn the title myself.”

“But Lou,” Harry exclaims, as he stops in place. “You are the number one student in my class and from what Liam tells me you are on top of your program. Why do you need to be recognized as a genius from others?” Harry asks with a sincere tone.

Louis swallows thickly. “I work hard.” He whispers with a tremble in his voice.

_Oh no. no. no. Don’t fail me now._

Louis bursts into tears.

“Oh, Louis!” Harry places the bag of groceries down and puts a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?—Did I say something?”

Louis shakes his head and forcefully wipes at the tears, trying to pull himself together.

“Not you” He whimpers.

“I’m so sorry.” Harry says, looking worried. “What- what is it Lou?”

Louis nods his head, unable to reply. He blows in his nose and wipes the remaining tears with his sleeves.

“Please.” He whispers. “Not now.”

Harry nods understandingly.

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Are you okay to carry the milk carton?”

Louis snorts.

“Course Harry, It’s a milk carton.” He shakes his head again.

They continue to walk two blocks in silence until they reach the condo.

\-----  
  
Harry unloads the groceries as Louis goes into the bedroom to see Zayn.

Z: “You’re earlier than I expected”

“Yeah, I ran into Harry.” Louis gets on the bed next to Zayn.

“You were crying.” Zayn looks at him with curiosity.

“Yes… Yes, I was.” Louis avoids eye contact. He flops down on the pillow next to him.

“Something you want to tell me?”

Louis gives a slight nod.

“Maybe wait till Harry gets here so I can tell you both.”

“HARRREHHHHH” Zayn yells.

“Easy!! I didn’t say now!”

Harry is heard running towards the room.

“Yeah?” His eyes shift from Zayn to Louis. “What’s going on?”

“Louis said he needs to tell us something.”

“Well---not like that.” Louis responds.

“Common, spill the beans”

“What’s going on?” Harry asks as he takes a seat next to Zayn’s feet on the bed.

“Uhh.. Where do I even begin?” Louis drags.

He sighs deeply.

“First of all,  I’m sorry I lied to you both yesterday. It wasn’t my intention to hurt either of you.”

He stares down at his feet.

“Yeah, what was up with that?” Zayn asks looking down at Louis.

“There was no girl.”

_Harry hates to admit it but he feels a heavy weight come off his chest._

“Go on.” Zayn insists.

“Well, you see..” He presses his hands together, feeling the anxiety and pain filling his chest.

“I couldn’t have you over because I don’t have place for you to sleep.”

“What do you mean? We always share your bed.”

_Harry is filled with jealousy._

“Well that’s it really, I don’t have a bed.”

Zayn frowns.

“I don’t have a room in fact.” Louis fights with his trembling hands.

Zayn and Harry lock eyes. They are both frowning.

“I didn’t have enough funds from my scholarship and grants to pay for the last few months of my residence.” He presses his lips together trying to keep himself composed.

“I don’t get it.” Zayn shakes his head.

“I’ve been homeless okay?!” Louis shouts in frustration.

Z: “Louis!! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

H: “Wha- why didn’t you tell me?”

L: “First of all, why on earth would I tell you?” He looks to Harry. “And second, I tried telling you Zayn. When I got back from Grandpa’s funeral but I got embarrassed. I don’t want people knowing my situation. I have it all planned out anyways why does it matter?”

_Harry is offended._

Z: “Wow- wow.. Okay. Even if you have it planned out, you know me, Liam, Harry and a few guys on the team would’ve helped you with a place to stay at least.”

L: “I just said!!! I don’t want people knowing my business!”

Z: “I’m not just any fuckin person Louis!! I have known you for so long. I’m your best fucking mate. How could you NOT tell me?!”

L: “I’m not picking fights here okay? It’s too late now, I won’t even be finishing my studies.”

Harry’s eyes immediately widen with worry.

H: “What do you mean Louis?” His deep voice breaks the tension between the other two.

Louis sits up in bed and turns the other way, his back to them. He brings his knees up to his chest and holds his body close.

“I got kicked off the team. No scholarship. No funds to continue.”

Z: “NOOO way!!”

Zayn jumps from his place and goes around to sit next to Louis. He wraps one arm around Louis’ shoulder. Harry remains in his place.

Z: “What does this mean?”

Louis’ eyes are filling with tears but his own anger is holding him back from falling into a crying mess.

He shakes his head.

L: “It means no fucking fourth year. I don’t get my shitty diploma and I’m no longer going to have a bright future. That’s what it fucking means.”

Harry swallows thickly as he gets up and rounds the corner of the bed.

“Lou.” He interrupts. “There’s got to be other ways.”

“Nope.” Louis shakes his head, his tone full of anger and resentment.

Z: “You can’t apply for other grants not football related?”

“No, Zayn! Fuck! What other grants is going to cover my tuition. Do you know how much one year of Law costs?!!” He yells.

H: “But with your top grades and all..”

L: “Noooo!!! Common Harry, you of all people should know it is not going to cover the entire thing. Besides those hefty grants are given when a person enrolls NOT when a person is completing their last year!”

Z: “What about a loan from the bank?”

L: “And whose going to get that loan Zayn!? My mother whose filed bankruptcy twice in the last ten years or myself – who by the way since I’ve been a student all my life- have absolutely NO fucking credit history!?”

_[[[[Zayn’s thoughts: wow, I clearly don’t know my friend well enough. Thought he was the type of rich kid who doesn’t flaunt his riches.]]]]_

Louis’ anger seizes as frustration begins to boil within. He has just realized that there is in fact no hope left. His head drops as his body lapses into a  fit of cries.

Zayn wraps both arms around him and pulls his body in.

“No Louis, please. Don’t cry. We are going to find a solution. Louis, please.” Zayn repeats.

Harry moves to kneel before Louis on the floor. He places one hand on Louis’ knee.

“Louis.” He says. “Louis, look at me please.”

Louis shakes his head that is resting against Zayn’s chest.

“I can’t” He whimpers.

“Louis.” Harry says again. He takes Louis’ hand into his own. His long fingers extend and wrap around Louis’ tiny wrist.

“Louis.” He tugs on Louis’ hand gently. “ I’m going to pay your tuition. Now. Please.” Harry pleads. “Please stop crying.”

Louis’ head turns with a sudden jerk to look at Harry.

“What?”

“I said.” Harry clears his throat. “I’m going to pay your tuition so that you can finish your final year.”

“Oh Harry, no, no.” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You never asked Lou. I offered.”

Z: “Take it Lou.”

“No really, I couldn’t but thanks.” Louis wipes his face on his sleeve again.

“Hey.” Harry squeezes his hand. “Let me just put the wind in your sails. One day when you are a rich and notable Lawyer you can repay me.”

“If you don’t take it from him, I will take it and give it to you so just make this easier!!!” Zayn yells.

“I don’t know. I can’t. No.” Louis responds. “It’s not just tuition Harry. I need money for residence, expenses and I need to help my family too. It’s just too much.”

“Stay here with me.” The words escape his lips before Harry has a chance to decide whether it is an appropriate statement. He can feel his face burning. He bites down on his own lip.

“ooOoH- stay here with me.” Zayn mocks as he winks at Harry and nudges Louis.

“Stop that.” Louis retorts.

H: “No- not like that- I mean like- Um”

L: “Don’t pay mind to him Harry.”

Z: “And defending him?” Zayn asks with a smirk.

H: “I’m serious. You can stay here with me for as long as you want. It’s not far from campus and I’ve got this spare room.”

Z: “Kicking me out already?”

L: “Oh stop it Zayn! I haven’t even said yes!”

Z: “Oh, I’m not worried. Let’s be honest, I’m staying here and you two will be sharing the other room.”

L: “ZAYN!!!”

Harry remains silent, his eyes growing wild and his face burning.

Z: “Okay, okay. Well..” Zayn clears his throat. “Since you aren’t playing on the team, maybe take up a job in your spare time to pay for your expenses next year?”

Louis gently nods.

L: “Yeah… yeah.” His nods grow in range. “I could do that.” He says convincingly.

H: “You should be a teacher’s assistant for one of the classes next year. That’s what I did in my final year.”

Z: “And since you have the high grades, they’d never say no.”

H: “You can be a TA for my class next year.”

L: “You don’t have TAs for your class Harold.”

H: “I could introduce the concept for next year.”  He smiles.

L: “Now you are just pushing it.”

Z: “Take the offer! Take ittttt!!!” Zayn eggs on.

L: “We will see. For now, I accept your first proposal. I will take a personal loan from you and repay you once I can. As for the living arrangements and employment position, I will take care of that on my own.”

_Harry’s heart sinks a bit but he still nods in agreement._

H: “Okay, sure. I just want you to be comfortable.”

Z: “Awww.. so seriously, you two AREN’T dating?”

H: “Heyyyyy.. stop it.”

Harry pokes at Zayn’s stomach.

H: “Will you at least stay here with me during the rest of the semester?” He asks.

Louis’ head drops again. He looks up at Harry and presses his lips into a firm smile.

“Yeah… yeah, I could stay here temporarily- if that’s… if it’s okay with you. Also, could you please leave this between us? I really don’t want anyone knowing.”

Harry nods and squeezes Louis’ hand again. He feels a tingling sensation pulsing throughout his body. Heat is rushing down his tummy as chemistry explodes within him. He pulls his hand away and gently pats Louis’ knee.

“Yeah- um, yeah of course! No – no problem” Harry hesitates. “Um, I’m going to go get started on dinner.” He gets up and pulls down his shirt, praying that neither Louis or Zayn notice his hard on. He rushes out of the room and his footsteps fade into the distance.

…

Z: “Tell me you saw the size of that boner?”

Louis turns to face Zayn, his face is red hot and he is nodding at Zayn’s question.

L: “I saw that massive boner, thanks Zayn.”

 

 


	22. Chapter Twenty

**Harry prepares dinner. He is interrupted by Louis who insists on helping him out.  They parade around the kitchen and collecting the ingredients and utensils together.**

“You know what would be great? If you stuff the chicken with mozzarella.”  Louis tells Harry as he peeks inside the fridge.

“Um- yeah, sure. You can bring it out from the fridge.”

“Oiiii, mother Mary, you got ham too then?” Harry looks over to Louis whose head is stuffed in the fridge.

“You know what would be even better Harold?” He asks as he retreats from the fridge. “Chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in prama ham with a side of that mash you’re making.”

Harry looks amused at Louis’ suggestion, he nods his head in agreement.

“Sounds great Lou, you can bring that out too.” He says as Louis moves forward towards the island.

“Already did!” He winks as he sets down the mozzarella and ham on the counter.

“Could you please shoot Liam a text to see if he’s coming?”

“And tell him we are having an early dinner?”

“Please.” Harry responds.

“On it.” Louis says as he types away on his screen.

Harry begins peeling the boiled potatoes as Louis grates the mozzarella.

His phone vibrates.

_Won’t make it for dinner. Enjoy. I will be there at 7 or 8._

_“He’s not makin it for dinner, Liam says.”_

_“Alright. I will leave him a plate aside.”_

_“Or I can eat it all.” Louis jokes._

“Or you can definitely eat it all.” Harry pauses and swallows thickly as he looks up to Louis. “Or take it with you for lunch tomorrow.” Harry says. He looks back down seeing that Louis hadn’t looked up at him.  He smiles to himself as he continues to peel at the potato.

Louis is now living with him. It will be like…. Nothing Harry has EVER experienced. They will eat together. Sleep in the same house. Watch TV together. Even do groceries and laundry together. Harry smiles at the thought of he and Louis folding their laundry together as they watch TV.

“We should get your belongings soon.”

“Yeah.” Louis says under his breath.

Harry looks over to him. Louis is also smiling down to himself.

“Don’t worry Harry, I will arrange for Liam to help drive over my suitcases”

Harry nods in silence.

“I can’t thank you enough.” Louis whispers under his breath again. This time he stops grating and looks up at Harry, locking eyes.  Harry doesn’t break contact.

“Don’t-…… don’t mention it.” He says.  The corner of Louis lips twitch into a small smile.

Harry feels the nerves taking over his body, his pores. He can feel them. Slowly opening and releasing droplets of sweat onto his back, hands, forehead and chest.

He breaks away from their intense stare.

“Umm..If you get Liam to help you move your stuff here he is going to know.” Harry says rather quickly.

“Doesn’t matter.” Louis says, still looking at Harry.

“You said you didn’t want people knowing.” Harry looks back up meeting his gaze.

“It’s Liam, its fine.”

“What if he asks you to live with him instead?”

“Does that worry you?” Louis smirks.

Harry hesitates and shakes his head. Louis comes around the island, getting closer to Harry.

“No—um. No” Harry says.

“Don’t worry Harry. I will tell him I chose you because you actually know how to cook delicious meals.” Louis winks at Harry. He is now standing right next to him. Harry sets the pealer down and turns his body just an inch or two towards Louis.

“Umm.. thanks Louis.” His face is blushing.

Louis stands up on his toes and presses a quick peck on Harry’s cheek.

Harry stands still. He does not look or move towards any direction. His cheek stings where Louis has pecked it and he is flaring up in his face… the heat just rolling down his torso, sinking into the depths of his tummy. A sensation erupts within. A chemistry of good feelings that take over his body and make his knees feel weak. Its butterflies.

He lets out a small breath. Or maybe a moan. A small. “Oh.” That makes his knees tremble harder under his weight. His palms drop flat on the surface of the island.

“Your welcome.” Louis whispers as he returns to his spot on the other side.

\-----------  
  
Louis does not approach Harry again while they are cooking. Harry watches him intently and wonders if he had felt the same feelings. He recalls everything Zayn had said about Louis loving him. Harry secretly hopes this is true.

The three of them have dinner in almost complete silence except for Louis’ “Oh my god, this is soooo good!” and “Didn’t I tell you the mozzarella and the Parma Ham would be a great idea?” To which Harry and Zayn nod and agree that it is in fact a great combination.

They clear up the tables almost as fast they set it and lounge in the living room. Louis flips through the channels as Zayn types away on his phone. Harry walks around the apartment, cleaning and what Louis supposes setting up for his move in.

A knock comes at the door and Liam walks in without being let in. He is on the phone as he walks to the couches.

“Okay Nialler. Keep me posted then. I will call you tomorrow and check up on you.”

Zayn can’t help but feel a ting of jealousy shoot through his body.

“Hi!” Liam announces. His eyebrows shoot up. Harry walks in. “Was just talking to Niall, he says the funeral is tomorrow.”

Zayn nods in silence. “Oh, yeah okay. Thanks.. um thanks for telling us.” Harry says.

“Is he feeling a bit better now?” Louis asks.

Liam takes a seat next to Zayn who stops typing at his phone.

“Yeah, he sounds a bit better.” Liam answers him. He turns to Zayn.

“How are you?” He whispers.

“”m better.” Zayn answers. “I was texting you but you weren’t responding.” He says annoyingly.

“Yeah, sorry, I was on the phone with Niall.”

“For a whole hour?” Zayn asks with a stern tone.

“I was driving too.”

Zayn rolls his eyes and looks away to the Television. Louis is watching a sports channel with recaps of the daily matches.

Liam squeezes Zayn’s upper arms but Zayn retreats and shoots him a disdainful look.

Liam is taken back and keeps to himself.

Louis watches their interaction through his peripheral and decides to break the tension.

“Hazza!!” He yells. Everyone in the room looks to him.

“What?” He sneers. “It’s Harold’s new nickname.”

“Hazza!!!” Harry finishes centering the box of tissues and looks over to him curiously.

“Yes…?” He asks timidly.

“When is your ceremony? Or award show… or whatever they call it?”

Harry straightens up and tugs on his t-shirt.

“Oh.. um.. It’s next month. Why?”

“Just curious.”

“Oh..”

Louis taps the spot next to him. Harry doesn’t think, he immediately follows suit and sits next to him.

“I can bring um.. as many guests.” He clears his throat. “My mum and sister will be coming.”

“That’s cool mate.” Liam replies.

“You guys can like.. come too if you’d like.”

“Of course Harry. We’d love to be there.” Liam says on behalf of the group.

“No!.... no!” Louis yells.

“Louis!—“ Zayn shoots him a frown.

“No… I mean. I’m not going as a guest.” Louis continues.

Liam snorts. Zayn’s frown slowly turns into a smirk.

Harry’s eyebrows are furrowed so tightly together as he gets lost in amidst their conversation. He is a bit hurt at Louis’ remark but he realizes he is missing out on something.

“Harry!” Liam shouts, dragging him out his deep thoughts. Harry snaps back.

“Ask him as your date.” Zayn smirks.

Harry tries hard to swallow. He feels like he is being taunted. Almost like when he was  bullied as a child. But these are his friends. They would never do something to betray him. Or would they? No. Certainly not Liam who is a trusted confidant and Zayn who is now his closest friend that knows his secrets. Harry turns his head slowly to look to Louis who is already looking at him with a grin on his face.

“Go on…” Louis says.

Harry clears his throat and runs a hand through his shorts strands and tucks them behind his ear.

“Umm.. Louis.”

“Yes Hazza?”

Harry’s stomach churns. He feels like he is being peer pressured into this.

“Umm.. you can come as my date.”

“Are you tell me or asking me?”  Louis presses further.

Harry looks at his lips, reading their response. He looks Louis back in the eyes.

“Do you want to be my date Lou?” He blushes, immediately looking away to Liam for comfort.

Liam nods reassuringly with a smile.

“MMM.. meh, I guess…. why not?  Just this one time then okay?” Louis finally responds as he studies his nails in front of his face.

Zayn whistles as Liam winks back at Harry.

“ _Okay”_ Is all Harry musters up as a response. He sinks back into the sofa, feeling his arm brush against Louis’. Not a great aftermath to what he feels is a public humiliation mixed with the most happiest moment of his life. He is a tad upset with Louis’ remark on this being a “one time” thing.

\-------  
  
An hour later.

Louis is sucking on a popsicle seated next to Harry. He slurps, causing Harry to frown with disgust as he watches him from the corner of his eyes. The group is watching mindless evening series of Dr. Who and Big Brother.  


Liam leans into Zayn.

“We should talk.” He whispers

Zayn doesn’t respond, he nods.

“Let’s go to the room.” Zayn shrugs and gets up from his seat.

“Harry.”

“Yes?” Harry looks over to the pair that is now standing.

“We are going to go inside, I’m calling it a night.”

“Yeah, okay sure. Um, let me know if you need anything.”

“Yeah, I need my own bed tonight.” Zayn says as Liam gently tugs on his arm as they walk away.

Harry looks back to Louis who is now licking the bottom of the popsicle stick to prevent it from dripping.

Louis looks to Harry who looks concerned.

“I could sleep here on the couches. Don’t worry Harold, I won’t disturb your bed.”

“No, um, it’s okay. You can take my bed tonight. You haven’t had a proper surface to sleep on for a while.” Harry says slowly hoping he doesn’t sound offensive.

“Well, don’t be ridiculous Harold!” Louis scowls after swallowing the last bit of the popsicle.

“We can sleep in bed together. I don’t bite. And I imagine if you bit me, I would be willing to let ya off easily seeing all you’ve done for me.”

Harry lets out a gentle laugh.

“All right. Just don’t bring any popsicles to bed.” Harry doesn’t really register what he says.

Louis snorts. “Pardon you?”

Harry turns red. “It’s your slurping and all..” He justifies.

“You could’ve asked me to stop.” Louis retorts.

“You looked like you were enjoying it, how could I-“

Louis laughs out loud. “excuse me?”

“No.. “ Harry shakes his head. “Not like that.” He gets off the sofa and walks aimlessly to the kitchen to distract himself. He reaches for a glass of water that he didn’t necessarily need.

“I will get you a set of pajamas.” He says as he walks back into the living room.

“That won’t be necessary. Thank you Harold but I’m fine to sleep in my boxers.” Louis looks back to Harry who stands behind the couch. “If that’s alright with you of course.”

Harry’s eyes grow wild. He nods. “Yes, uh, sure whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

“Whatever makes YOU feel comfortable.” Louis winks at Harry.

\------------  
  
“Wow, I can’t believe Louis hid this from us this entire time.” Liam says.

“How do you think I feel? I’m supposed to be his mate.”

“Okay, okay. Enough about Louis. Like I said, I’ll try to help him out. I’ll offer him my place as well so that he doesn’t feel confined to this one place.”

“Confined?”--- “Louis is cumming waterfalls knowing he is staying here.”

“Haven’t felt that myself in a while.” Liam says.

Zayn rolls his eyes.

“Can we talk about you now?”

“What about me?” Zayn hisses.

“Well, what’s going on. I mean one minute, you are pushing me away, the next you’re jealous I’m on the phone with Niall, and then I get shut down, and then you’re texting me telling me how much you miss me. I mean…. Put yourself in my place.”

Zayn nods, doesn’t respond.

“How or what would you like me to do for you right now? You don’t even talk to me anymore. I don’t know how much is too much and how little is too little.”

Zayn shrugs.

“Zayn…. Could you please talk to me?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know Liam. Yes, I miss you and yes I want to cuddle with you but there are bigger things that hold me back you know?”

“Like what Zayn?”

“Like family!!!” Zayn kisses his teeth. “Don’t act like you don’t know. I hate it when you act like your fuckin’ clueless.”

“Zayn.” Liam turns to him, now talking in a very stern voice that Zayn rarely hears.

“First of all, don’t you ever kiss your teeth at me. Second, don’t swear when I’m talking to you. I haven’t done anything to you except being supportive. You’re making this your problem and you are being very selfish. I get that nothing is going as planned at home but please! I’m asking you again. Let me be by your side through out every step. It’s my job to be!”

“No..” Zayn shakes his head. “It’s my own business, I will deal with it alone.”

“Your business is MY business!”

“Liam!! Its’ my family!!! I will have to take care of it myself before I can come back to you.”

“And what exactly do you plan on doing? Convincing them all to accept you before you can get back to me?----“ He pauses. “What happens when they still won’t come aboard?—Am I just going sit here and wait until they all are cool with the idea?”

“Yeah!”

“Surely you don’t mean that Zayn.”

“No, I do.” Zayn insists.

“Take that back Zayn. You don’t mean it.”

“I mean every single word of it.”

Liam’s face drops as he looks at Zayn who avoids his gaze.

“Okay.” He whispers. He gets off from the bed. “I will let you have all your space.” Liam pauses and looks back to Zayn. “Don’t expect me to wait around. I may be gone when your family is ready to accept the idea of you and I being together.”

“Don’t threaten me!” Zayn yells after him.

Liam doesn’t respond. He finds the door and lets himself out of the room and out of Harry’s condo.

\---------  
  
Harry finishes brushing his teeth and walks over to the bed. He finds Louis already laying on his side of the bed.

“I don’t know what side you usually sleep on. Sorry if I’m on your side.” Louis’ muffled voice comes from under the blanket.

“No, its fine. Not my side.” Harry lies as he walks to the other side.

He carefully lifts the cover to get in, fearing he may expose Louis.

“Sooo..” Louis turns around to look at him.

Harry tucks his chin. “Yes?” He asks timidly as he faces Louis.

“Looks like I gotta be your date for this award show thing eh?” Louis teases.

“Um… yes.” Harry responds as he puts his hands under his head and curls his body a tad bit careful not to take up too much space.

“Have you ever… asked anyone?”

“Asked anyone?”

“on a date Harold.”

“Oh… um.” Harry clears his throat and blinks for a second longer. “no.”

“You’ve never gone on a date before?” Louis yells.

“No.” Harry quietly repeats.

Louis nods his head a few times as a smile spreads on his face.

“Ah ha… that explains…. A lot of things.”

Harry feels exposed. Shy. Embarrassed and exposed.

“It’s okay Harold.” Louis reaches out and places a careful hand on Harry’s waist.

“You don’t have to do anything on our date or even think of it as anything formal. I was just teasing ya earlier.”

Harry nods, he is frowning with uncertainty. “Okay…”

“Have… have you?” Harry hesitates to ask. He does not know why he asks. He would rather not know but he feels compelled to ask him the same question.

“Yes.” Louis squeezes his waist. Harry looks down to where Louis’ hand is slowly being retracted. Louis turns onto his back. (He tries not to make it look like an obvious move as he inches closer to Harry.)

“I have dated a few girls back in the days.” Louis says confidently.

“Girls?”

Louis nods and turns to look at Harry.

“Took a few of them to realize I really wasn’t interested you know?”

Harry nods, though he doesn’t know why he nods if he has never experienced the same.

“They are so annoyinggg Harold. You’re lucky to never know.”

Harry snickers.

“What about… men?”

Louis clenches his jaw and turns to look at the ceiling.

“No. I’ve never been with a man before.”

Harry watches Louis looking up at his ceiling.

“How did you know then?” Harry whispers.

“That I like men?” Louis completes for him.

He nods.

“I just knew. I’m attracted to them. Just like you.”

“Right.” Harry sinks in his spot, thinking about how many different men Louis must have been previously attracted to. He feels the jealousy poking at his nerves.

“So… “ Louis finally says breaking Harry’s trance.

“let’s talk about you.” He turns back on his side and looks at Harry. “How’d you become a genius?”

Harry is relieved that Louis isn’t pushing anymore talks of relationship or love with him.

“I read that you were a self-taught genius.”

Harry nods slowly.

“Yeah, um. Well, I just read a lot.”

“Didn’t you have any friends to play with?”

Harry shakes his head. 

“No….” His deep voice echoes in the silent room. “I was the four eyes.” He smiles.

Louis smiles along with him. “Well it got you something good didn’t it?”

Harry nods again. Louis outstretches his hand and reaches for Harry’s hair. He begins to scratch slowly into his scalp.

Harry feels the butterflies again as Louis’ nails get closer and closer to his scalp. He also feels his manhood becoming erect at the sensual touch. He closes his eyes, enjoying a few opening and closing motions of Louis’ fingers in his hair.

“I remembered you liked having your hair played with.” Louis whispers.

Harry opens his eyes. He giggles. “Yeah, sorry about that night.”

“It’s fine really. I should be sorry too. I was short tempered and walked out on you.”

“I never got to thank you for that night Lou.” The pair lock eyes.

“Thank you.”

“Harry, don’t thank you me when you have just done me the biggest favor anyone could ask for!”

Harry smiles timidly.

“So you just stayed home and read then?”

Harry nods. “Yeah, I would just like, read and read until the library ran out of books for me. Me mum would order some online for me. I used to love trivia. We used to have board game night every Thursdays. I would always win. And then me mum’s boyfriend at the time, he would always watch jeopardy. I’d watch it with him. It was one of the few shows I’d watch.”

Harry pauses, realizing he needs to catch his breath.

“Sorry.” He says as he shrivels into himself. “I got carried away.”

Louis laughs and puts a finger to his nose. “No…. I prefer to call it passionate. You got passionate.”

He withdraws his hand and looks at Harry.

…

“Harry…”

“mm..”

“I will never forget your generosity. I’m eternally indebted to you and I promise you, for putting the wind in my sails, I will take you along with me to the highest peaks of life and reward you with the sweetest things that our existence has to offer.”

“Louis.” Harry whispers slow and deep. “Please don’t ever feel like you owe me favors. I would have done this for any one of my friends. It’s not like I have anyone or anything lavish to spend my money on.”

“but, I’m paying you back.” Louis reinstates.

Harry nods and purses his lips together.

They lock eyes again. Louis inches closer and places a hand in Harry’s head again. The intensity begins to eat away at Harry. Louis’ eyes dart up and down between Harry’s eyes and lips. His fingers find their way inside his hair and he begins to caress lightly, letting his nails scratch against his scalp from time to time when he drags his fingers in together.

Louis gets even closer. His grip on Harry’s hair gets firmer. Harry is overwhelmed. He is feeling a million things at once but he is nervous more than anything else. Louis’ head comes off the pillow a few degrees and he leans forward and connects his lips to Harry’s now gaping mouth.

Their eyes immediately fall shut as louis brushes up against Harry’s lips. He gently pecks his upper lip in a slight tug and releases. He kisses the left corner of his mouth and tugs on his bottom lip with soft pecks. Harry remains completely still. Louis releases his lip. Harry closes his mouth and instantly feel Louis’ mouth crash hard onto his. His hand now pushing Harry’s head towards him, keeping a firm hold of him.

The butterflies, now turned, fireworks, go off in Harry’s stomach. His erect cock is now throbbing. But there is a voice in his head. And it just yells. “STOP.”

Harry immediately pulls back from the kiss. He looks down at Louis lips.

“you okay?” Louis asks gently as he lightens his touch in Harry’s hair.

Harry nods.

“Yes.” --- “um, I’m just. I wasn’t ready for this.” Harry says in deep slow voice.

“I’m … I’m so sorry Harry. I shouldn’t have just.. attacked you like that. I really am …” Louis shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Heyyy,” Harry grabs Louis’ hand. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I did…. I’ve been wanting.. you to kiss me for so long.”

Louis nods blankly.

“I just need time.” He says as he licks his lips.

“Absolutely. I understand Harry. Whatever you need. You- you just let me know.”

“Okay.” Harry responds. He looks back to Louis who looks frantic and guilty.

“It’s alright Louis. Come.” Harry moves closer to Louis. “Let me sleep in your arms?”

Louis nods. “Course.” He whispers.

“I want to be little spoon.” Harry says with a childish tone.

Louis laughs. “Sure. Anything for you.”

Harry turns around and backs up against Louis’ raging boner. He remains still as he feels the hard cock firmly pressed against him. He exhales out as silently as he can manage. The two keep their eyes open for a few minutes as they register what just happened.


	23. Chapter Twenty One

I'm sorry for the long wait. I've got me a concussion and writing's been a tad difficult with the sensitivity to the screen. This chapter is dedicated to all of you and your patience. -Z

 

**\------**

**Meanwhile in Ireland…**

Niall arrives at the Fanagans Funeral home. Some familiar faces are already dwelling in the room. His aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins are lined up in queue to welcome the guests in.

_Of course, we’d arrive last._

Niall has spent the past few sleepless hours feeling livid. His frustration at his parent’s lack of sentiment has fueled more anger than pain with respect to the his brother’s passing. He wanted nothing more than to lay his brother to his final rest and return to the lads. The only thing he had left that felt a tad like home; the kind of home that he never enjoyed but only dreamt of.

Niall thinks about how fast they have all become close; such a strange combination of professors and students brought together under one roof, finding themselves in a whirlwind of problems.  

In a moment of silence, he stops to think of his brother.

_He will never call again._

It still hasn’t hit him. It was all happening too fast. It feels surreal.

Niall greets all his relatives. He remains composed. He has already decided he will not fall weak and cry. Not when his parents are around.

In the corner of the room Niall spots Jackie, the personal care nurse who had looked after Greg for the past five years. She stands with a group of other individuals that he does not recognize. Niall slowly walks over, hoping her eyes would meet his and ease him into the group standing around.

“Niall.” She says with a sympathetic tone.

Niall’s always liked Jackie. Whenever he came around the institute, she’d trust to leave them alone. She was always the bearer of good news.

_He has significantly progressed with his depression._

_He has been socializing effortlessly._

_He went home this week and tells me he had a great time._

Except this time, there was no good news to be given. Niall still has no knowledge of what happened. He is desperate to seek answers. Jackie may be his only source.

“Jackie.”

Niall steps forward into her embrace.

_No good news._

“Oh I’m so sorry Niall. I really am. I can’t imagine what you are going through.”

And that was it. That was enough to break him. Niall spills out in tears. His body trembles as he is gripped tightly by Jackie. She rubs his back soothingly.

“Oh dear. It will be okay. It will be okay.” She whispers in his ear. “He will watch over you now.”

Niall nods his head in response.

“Here, I have some tissues.” A deep voice whispers by his side.

Niall looks up. A face he doesn’t recognize but a face that is humble and sweet.

“Thanks.” Niall responds with a tremble as he takes the wad of tissue from the man’s hand.

Niall pulls back from the hug. Jackie keeps one hand on his back, still rubbing in soothing circles. The people in the group are now all looking down in sympathy, remaining quiet.

“Niall..” She says with a stretch to his name. “These are other fellow workers from the centre. They’ve all worked with your brother at some point.”

“Hi.” He puts a shaky hand up. They all nod. “Thanks fer bein’ ‘ere’”

The tall humble man steps forward with his hand out stretched. “I’m George Ezra.” He nods as he shakes Nialls hand. A very gentle touch.

“George is our entertainer. He’s from England.” She looks to George. “Niall is currently studyin’ in England.” She tells him.

“Oh that’s nice, where you studying?” He asks.

“Oxford.”

George’s eye widen with delight. “Oh that’s great! You must be a brainer.”

Niall attempts a weakly pressed smile. “’No, nothin’ of the sort.”  He responds.

“George plays guitar and sings, he was one of your brother’s favorites at the centre.” Jackie says with a sincere smile.

Niall nods and smiles to George who looks down at him with flushed cheeks.

“This is Catherine.” She points to the lady standing next to George. “Catherine is our front desk manager.” Niall shakes her hand.

“This is Conor and he is the activity coordinator.” Niall steps to shake his hand.

“Sorry for your loss.” He says.

Niall nods. “Thank you.”

“And this is Molly and her daughter Anne. She is another nurse from the ward your brother was in. She does the night shift.”

“My condolences to you and yer family dear.” She steps in for a hug and embraces Niall.

“I appreciate it.” He responds. He steps back from the hug and looks down at the young girl clenching onto her mother’s dress.

“’ello you must be Anne.” He looks down and smiles. He offers a hand, which the little girl hesitantly accepts.

The air suddenly fills of warmth. Niall feels at ease and comfort with this crowd. He does not want to leave but the coordinator of the hall has asked all the guests to step outside and only close family members to remain for their final goodbye.

Niall’s stomach churns at the thought. He will finally see his brother. His casket is being carried to the room. He thinks he is not ready for this moment. He feel’s Jackie’s hand slide away as she comforts him.

“We’ll join you shortly dear. Go ahead now, yer time the see Greg again.”

Niall walks over to where his favorite aunt stands. The guests slowly clear the room and crowd the hall outside. The heavy doors are shut by the hall’s staff. Now all that remains is Greg’s open casket and his family. Niall feels ill. The thought of his brother just a few steps away pains him. He doesn’t want to turn back. But this is his brother, the only person he has ever learnt to love unconditionally. He bites his lip keeping it from quivering.

He turns back.

He does not think. He just walks in a trance to his brother’s casket.

_I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry._

His eyes land on his brother. He looks peaceful. He looks alive. The embellishers have done their job perfectly.

He drops a hand in the casket and rests it on his brother’s.

[[-------- I just got a message this second as I am writing this from a friend, whose mother just passed away-------]]

Niall doesn’t cry. He keeps himself calm.

_I’m sorry I let ya down. I should’ve called more. ’m so sorry Greg. I didn’t mean ter to be absent fer long._

The other family members start to gather round. Niall pats his brother’s hand.

_I’m sorry Greg, really I am. I wish I woulda spent more time with you. I will miss ya brother. I will miss us, our little family. I love you. You will never know how much you mean to me. I wish I could’ve told you this sooner._

He feels his lips start to tremble.   

_This is it Greg?_

He squeezes his brother’s hand.

_I’m not sayin’ good bye. I know someday we’ll meet again, until then, watch over me?_

He bites down on his bottom lip hard.

Another gentle squeeze.

He leans in and places a kiss on his brother’s forehead.

Niall takes his leave, not looking back. He leaves the private room. He needs to find a washroom.

It’s not a private washroom but it will do. There are three stalls. Only one of which is occupied. Niall stands at the sinks, both his hands lay flat on the vanity. He does not look up at his reflection. He looks down at the sink and lets his thought wonder.

_That’s it. I’m never seeing him again. Never going to hear his voice again._

He bites down on his lips again. The toilet flushes. He turns on the water and splashes his face. The door opens. Niall doesn’t look up to see who is in there next to him. He pulls on the paper towel and dabs at his face. The faucet next to him to turns on. Niall discards the paper towel in the dispensary. He turns around. It is an older fella, a guest perhaps to the hall next to his. The old man grabs at a few paper towels and walks out the door. Niall leans back against the cold wall. Another figure appears as the door closes.

He jumps.

“George—hi.” He presses his lips into a firm smile.

George nods and steps forward.

“I hope you don’t mind. I saw you walking in. Thought I’d come and make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh no, not at all.” Niall’s face burns.

Awkward encounters. Any social encounter alone was an awkward one for him.

George walks even closer and places a hand on Niall’s shoulder.

“You didn’t stay long in there.”

“I couldn’t” Niall shakes his head and looks to the floor.

“You know your brother talked of you all the time.”

Niall smiles weakly, still looking at the floor.

“He tells me you play the guitar as well.”

“Yeah , uh.” Niall scratches at his head. “Prolly not as good as you though.”

George squeezes his shoulder and retrieves his hand.

“Could I—could I get you something to drink?” he asks.

Niall nods.

“No rush, whenever you decide to come out.”

“’S arite, I’ll be righ’ behind ya.”

George smiles. He turns around and walks to the door, hearing Niall’s footsteps just behind him.

Niall is relieved that he will be standing with the members of the centre again. He does not want to go back to the room nor does not want stand idle with his family. He does not want to face the reality that his parents will look void of emotions. No, he cannot put up with that right now.

George holds the door open for him.

“Go ahead.”

Niall can’t help but blush at the man’s chivalry.

“Thanks mate.”

_That’s a great smile._

He turns back and follows George to the group.

Niall looks back at his face. He still wears a sincere smile.

_No, that’s a beautiful smile._

The two walk up to the group as they close in, George places an arm across Niall’s back.

“Greg was right, Niall does play the guitar.” He says as their eyes focus on the pair.

He turns to Niall and smiles as the group begin discourse of guitar strumming. George leaves the group to prepare a cup of tea for Niall.

“It was always Greg’s favorite. Music  night it was.” Molly says.

Niall thinks of all the times he played for his brother. He did seem thrilled with music. He hadn’t realized this earlier. Greg would beg him to play. He encouraged him. If Niall hadn’t stuck to it, he would have never pursued Music as a minor at Oxford. But he did. And it was all thanks to Greg who had encouraged him all along.

The hour drags by as the family wrap up their goodbyes inside. They later congregate for mass inside the hall and line up to carry the casket outside. Everyone gathers, watching silently as each fades into his or her own thoughts of life and death as the casket is lowered into the ground.

After the burial, the host announces the details of the evening’s celebration of life to take place at a different venue. Niall doesn’t know of these plans. He turns to Jackie suddenly feeling anxious.

“Please tell me you are all coming.” He whispers.

Jackie offers a sincere smile. “If you would like us to come, we can surely arrange for that dear.”

Niall feels a bit relieved. He sees George smile from the corner of his eyes. He swings forwards onto his toes as his hands remain clasped before him.

Niall secretly hopes George will be there.

_He did not just think that._

_Yes. Yes. He did._

He feels himself blush at his own thoughts.

 _Tonight is about finding out the truth about Greg’s death, not falling in love._ His conscience tells him.

\-----------

**Back in London**

Harry sits at his desk in his office. He thinks about how awkward it felt to wake up with no Louis in bed. He searched the house, hoping Louis was preparing breakfast but Louis was not up. He was still sleeping on Harry’s couch. Harry wonders at what time of the night Louis may have slipped out of the bed and opted for the couch. Harry wonders if him holding back on the kiss was offense to Louis. He feels terrible inside.

Harry had left the apartment early, leaving Louis and Zayn behind. He was careful not to wake either up while getting ready for school.

Now he sits at his desk and taps his pen.

His phone vibrates.

_Hey Harry, I know this an odd request. Mum wants to speak to you. Maybe call her when you get a chance? ********35_

Harry wonders what Zayn’s mum has to tell him. He doesn’t do well talking to older adults. He copies the number to his clipboard and pastes it in his phone log. He rings her phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi.. uh. This is Harry calling. Zayn said you’d like to – um, speak to me?”

“Harry! Love! How are you? So nice to hear from you! Thank you so much for taking  Zayn in and looking after him! You couldn’t imagine a mother’s pain at a time like this. How are you dear? So glad you called.”

“I’m uh, well. Thank you very much ma’am.”

“That’s good! I’m glad to hear that love! Listen Harry, would it be a bother if I came to see Zayn today? He tells me he won’t leave the room or come outside.”

“Yeah, uh, of course. Sure you can come anytime. Zayn is home all day.”

“Oh lovely! Thank you so much dear! You are so great. Zayn tells me such nice things about you. I’m glad he has a friend like you!”

“Uh, Zayn is a good friend too.” Harry says quietly as Liam enters the office.

“Alright dear, I won’t keep you long! I hope I will run into you tonight. I hope you like fresh muffins; I’ve just taken a batch out of the oven.”

“Um, sure, yeah, I’d love to try some of it.” Harry says in a hushed tone.

“Oh great! I can’t wait for you to try them. I will see you tonight love. You take care now.”

“Alright, thank you. Yes. See you tonight. You too.”

“Bye dear.”

“Bye.”

Liam stands by Harry’s desk.

“Who was that?”

“Zayn’s mum.”

“You—“ Louis looks puzzled. “You got to speak to Zayn’s mum?”

“Yes….” Harry furrows his eyebrows.

“I haven’t even spoken to Zayn’s mum.” Liam points to himself.

Harry shrugs.

“Zayn said she wanted to speak to me.”

“What did she want from you.”

Harry shrugs again.

“She just wants to come over.”

“When?”

“Tonight.” Harry feels slightly attacked.

“Tonight.” Liam repeats it to himself, as his gaze shifts to the ceiling. “Huh.”

Liam walks to his desk and settles in. He doesn’t press the matter further.

\---------

**Back in Ireland**

The crowd gathers back inside the hall as they all bid farewells. Niall leaves the company of his relatives and looks for the members of the centre. He walks over to the group to thank them for their attendance.

George stands behind the three older adults. His hands are in his pocket, he looks down with the same sincere smile on his face. Niall takes turn hugging the guests and exchanging words of kindness. They all leave but George.

Niall is suddenly finding himself nervous again.

“Thanks fer everything.” He stretches out a hand.

George smiles wider and nods while taking his hand.

“I haven’t done anything.”

“You’ve um, thanks fer like playing ter Greg an all.”

“Pleasure was always mine.”

Niall likes the smoothness and deepness of his voice. It makes him feel comforted.

“Will I see ya tonight then?” Niall asks.

“I’d be my pleasure to see **YOU** tonight.” George presses the ‘you.’

Niall feels himself blush.

_This guy is too much._

“Great, ya, well. I will see ya then.”

“Take care Niall.”

George takes his leave. Niall stands and watches the tall boy exit.

_What is this feeling growing inside of me now?_

He sighs.

\----


	24. Chapter Twenty-Two

\--

**In Ireland- four hours later…**

Niall sits on his bed. He thinks about the time he and Greg shared rooms. They’d stay up late talking. Niall would beg Greg to let him sleep but there was always a story Greg wanted to share, so he’d listen until Greg got tired and faded in the background.

There’s a hard knock at the door. It opens an inch.

“We are leavin’ now.” His dad says from behind the door.

Niall jumps up from his bed. He has taken off his black suit and has opted for a green/blue stripped polo. Green and blue were always Greg’s favorite colors.

\---At the venue

Niall sits with his Aunt Laure, her husband and her kids at a table neither too far up in the front, nor too far back. His eyes constantly scan the room for Jackie. After waiting patiently for half hour, he opts for a drink at the bar. All his family members were well on their way to being drunk. Niall is unhappy with the venue. Usually they’re filled with guest books, pictures and sometimes a speech but there is nothing prepared. There is just one mediocre picture of Greg sitting in sad plastic frame at the very front of the room.

It doesn’t surprise him. He leans up against the bar.

“I’ll ‘ave a beer please.” He says.

“Ya, jus’ a minute.”

“I’ll have one too.”

Niall turns around. It’s a voice he recognizes.

George places a hand on his mid back. He smiles that smile that’s been driving Niall crazy all day.

 _Very plump lips._ Niall thinks.

“Hi Niall.”

“George! Eyyy- nice teh see ya.”

Niall tries to play cool.

“Jackie came around wit ya then?” He scans the room.

George presses his lips into an apologetic smile.

“Sorry mate, Jackie couldn’t get away with taking off the shift.” George reaches into his back pocket.

“But she wanted me to give you this.”

He hands him a hand written note.

“She feels really bad but she’s invited you to dinner at her place tomorrow night.”

_My dearest Nialler,_

_Molly and I send our sincerest apologies. We are in deep regret for not making it._

_I hope you’ll accept my invitation to dinner tomorrow._

_Xx Jackie & Molly_

“I can’t make it.” He pauses. “I’ve already booked me flight out tomorrow at noon, I ‘ave to get back ter school.”

The smile slowly fades on George’s face.

“You’re leaving tomorrow?”

Niall nods. He can see the disappointment settle in on George’s face.

“Well, that’s fine. I suppose it can wait.”

“What – what can wait?” Niall asks.

George shakes his head. He looks flustered.

“I just …. I uh, wanted to take you out for a drink or dinner… or a walk even.” His eyes now focus on something in the background as he avoids looking directly at Niall.

There’s a pause. A long awkward pause. 

“I might be back ‘ere in summer, not sure yet.” Niall says nervously.

George looks back at him. He smiles.

“That’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure we can arrange for something.”

Niall nods. George’s hand s slowly slide off Niall’s back as he reaches for both their drinks from the bar tender.

“Shall we go sit then?” He asks.

Niall feels jittery inside. He has never felt his emotions this overwhelmed before. He is genuinely happy for the first time that someone like George would be keenly interested in him. He feels himself at ease--- secure and protected even. Niall can’t ignore how chivalrous George is either. He places the beers on the table and pulls out a chair for him.

Niall knows his face is red without having to get drunk. George sees this and smiles. He picks up his bottle.

“To Greg.” He says.

Niall follows suit and clinked his bottle to George. “To Greg.”

_Right. Greg. Okay focus. This night is about Greg. This can’t be happening right now. Remember---I’m supposed to find out about Greg. Jackie isn’t here. Why is Jackie not here? Oh god, he is staring at me intensely. I can’t get past that smile. Those are nice lips. FOCUS. Greg. Right. How --- nice hands too. NOOO!_

“You don’t- you don’t ‘appen to know exactly what ‘appened to ‘im do ya?” Niall asks hesistantly.

George’s eyebrows shoot up.

“You don’t know about your brother’s passing?”

Niall shakes his head, feeling embarrassed more than anything.

“Right.” George looks down at the label on the bottle he is tearing at. “I didn’t think you did. Greg told me. That you and him aren’t—you know- close to your parents to say the least.”

He looks up at Niall. His body expands in size as he takes a deep breath in and exhales out.

“Well, he, uh…. He was released to go home two days ago. Everyone thought he was in good condition for temporary release. Only for two days of course. But um…. We got a call on the morning of the second day.. found out he had passed –“

“George.” Niall’s face turns more serious. “How? That’s my question.”

George places a hand on Niall’s knee and looks away from Niall’s gaze.

“He hung himself Niall.”

Niall doesn’t say anything.

_He hung himself. And while he prepared all that to hang himself, where the fuck were they? Next door sleeping, being selfish? Not caring about the noises? Did they hear the struggling?_

Niall’s thought race with rage.

_What if they heard him struggle and thought nothing of it? What if he tried to call for help after jumping and regretting his decision but their selfishness could not drive them out of bed because they couldn’t be bothered?_

His eyes widen with anger.

A hand squeezes his thigh.

“Niall.”

He looks to George.

“Tonight is about celebrating the life Greg led. Let’s not think of the bad things. Let’s remember all the happy times.”

_“Ya…… ‘m sorry.”_

Niall doesn’t snap out of his state. He remains angry for the rest of the night despite all of George’s efforts to cheer him up.

\---

At the end of the night George offers to drop Niall off at home. Niall politely refuses his offer.

“I ‘ave to make sure the rest of the family I ‘ave, get ‘ome safe. I reckon ‘m the only one not drunk and able to drive.”

“I understand.” He places a hand on Niall’s shoulder.

“You are a good son.”

Niall swallows thickly at George’s statement.

“Can I have your number perhaps?”

Niall feels himself blush at the question.

_This is happening. Oh, this is happening._

He feels his hand begin to shake from nerves.

“Ya, sure.”

They exchange phone numbers and farewells. Niall begins to regret having booked a flight so early. But he can’t handle staying much longer with his parents. He stays back at the table he and George sat at and waits for the venue to wrap up the event. He texts Liam and tells him he will be returning by air the following day.

 _“I’ll be at the terminal to pick you up.”_ Was the only response he got from Liam.

Niall wonders how long Liam and Zayn will fight this out. He likes their little group and doesn’t want any rifts tearing them apart.

\--------------  
  
**Back in England.**

Harry returns home to find Louis and Zayn playing video games in the living room.

“Where’d you uh- where’d you get the consoles from?”

“We stole it from Liam.” Louis says without turning back.

“You- you stole it?”

Zayn and Louis laugh.

Zayn pauses the game.

He turns to look at Harry.

“We didn’t steal it, I just gave the spare key to Louis and told him to pick it up from Liam’s.”

“Does um, Liam know about this?”

Harry frowns at the boys.

“He will.” Louis says.

He and Zayn laugh to themselves again as they resume their game.

“And Louis, why are you on the floor?” Harry asks.

“It’s more fun to play video games on the floor Harold. Now stop pestering us as if you’re our mother.”

He doesn’t turn back.

“When is your mum coming by Zayn?”

“Don’t know. She said an hour or so.”

Harry doesn’t respond. He goes to his room and flops on his bed. He listens to the sounds of laughter coming from his living room. It’s comforting having company. He could get used to this. His eyelids start to get heavy, forcing his eyes shut and as he wonders in his thoughts, he loses himself to sleep.

**A few minutes later…**

Harry feels the bed move under his weight. He opens his eyes. Louis comes in bed to lay next to him.

“Zayn’s mum is here.”

“Oh—Oh!” Harry gets up but Louis pulls him back down.

“Well give them a minute, she only just got here Hazza.”

“Right, yeah.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you up. I came to just lay a bit.”

 _I totally meant to wake you up. I already miss your face._ Louis thinks to himself.

“No- that’s um, it’s fine. I was just napping, it’s good that you woke me up.”

They both fall silent and stare up at the ceiling. Their bodies lie parallel to each other.

“Lou.” He stutters. “Um, why’d you …leave.. the bed yesterday?”

“Yeah..” He pauses. “I’m sorry, after you feel asleep, I just. I guess I felt guilty for having come onto you.”

“You? I felt guilty because  I ..like didn’t let you continue and that-“

“Harry, no! You have no reason to feel guilty. I don’t want to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

Harry turns his head to face Louis.

“Lou.”

Louis turns to look at him.

“I just… I don’t want you to do this for me because you feel like you owe me anything. I felt like… maybe you were being nice and.. well coming on to me to like, repay me I guess. I know- I know it sounds silly but that’s how I felt.”

“Harry…” Louis’ voice fades out. Harry looks at him with anticipation in his eyes.

“I…. would never repay you that way. I didn’t come onto you for that no.. no that’s not the kind of person I am. I mean.. I’ve liked you for a long time now…. The favor you did me… it doesn’t change anything. I liked you before that and I would’ve still liked you despite it.”

Harry feels it again. The eruption inside his stomach.

_He likes me. Louis Tomlinson just admitted he likes me._

Harry leans in and carefully places a hand on Louis’ head. He gently brushes his lips against Louis’ and firmly takes in his bottom lip gently nibbling at it twice. He releases his hold on Louis but remains a few inches away from his face.

“What was that Hazza!?”

“I like you too Lou.” Is all he can come up with. His pupils dilate taking over the sea of green in his eyes.

Louis lets out a silent laugh and puts a hand on Harry’s waist. He nudges his body closer to Harry now touching him.

“About fuckin’ time.”

He grabs Harry’s head and plants a long, passionate kiss.

He retrieves.

“Okay, so… I lied. Zayn’s mum actually sent me in here to fetch you. Maybe just maybe…we shouldn’t keep her waiting this long.” He winks at Harry.

“Oh.. I have to go.”

Harry frantically jumps up and fixes his dress shirt that he had fallen asleep in.

“And.. that’s how I always imagined it…” Louis says under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing…” Louis rolls off the bed and follows Harry to the living room.

\-----  
  
Harry is introduced to Zayn’s mum who shows off the basket of muffins she brought. Louis digs right in. Harry carefully unpeels the bottom cup wrapper and takes delicate bites out of it. Zayn’s mum takes the opportunity to ask him about his post at Oxford and his undergraduate studies.

“It’s lovely meeting you dear. It really is.”

A knock comes at the door.

“Louis.” Is all Harry has to say before Louis nods and jumps to get the door.

\---  
  
“Liam… And what brings you here ?” Louis asks with a sly tone, leaning against the doorpost, still stuffing his face with the muffin.

“Is Zayn’s mum inside?”  Liam tries to take a peak in.

“That she is, but you haven’t answered my question.”

“Louis, I don’t have time for your games right now. Please, please, please, I beg of you. Go call his mum for me, I’d like to meet her outside.”

“Zayn’s going to find out.”

“Distract him.”

“How am I going to do that?”

“Never mind, why’d you get sent to the door! I needed Harry not you.”

“Okay… I will get you Harry.” Louis winks and walks away.

“Harryyyyyyyyyy.”

Harry comes to the door.

“Harry, I need you to get Zayn’s mum out here. I need to talk to her. Please, I’m very….. I’m honestly desperate. Please do this for me Harry.” Liam pleads.

“Ok.. um, sure, yeah.. but what do I say?”

“I don’t know.. you live in a fancy building.” Liam throws his hands in the air. “Tell her you want to show her the pool or outdoor patio or something.”

Harry nods his head. He wears a serious look on his face.

“Okay.. that will work.. just um.. give me a few minutes. It’s gotta look.. like natural, ok?”

“Meet me downstairs in the lobby?”

“Yeah.”

Harry goes back inside trying to act frustrated.

“These cable providers. They always come by and try to sell you a good deal.” He shakes his head as he takes a seat. He looks over to Louis whose right eyebrow jumps up in surprise. He smirks.

“Oh you get them up here too, do you?” Trisha asks.

“All the time.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“And I can’t understand why a condominium like this would allow them to. Too much soliciting.”

“It is quite a lovely building.” She nods approvingly.

“Yeah..” Harry nods. “You should see the outside patio, it’s great. Open all year long. Actually.. come, let me give you a tour.”

“Oh, that’s alright Harry, don’t bother yourself.” She says.

“No, no, I insist. Really, it’s no bother. I love to show the commodities of this building.”

He looks over to Louis whose smile make his eyes disappear. He bites on his bottom lip, trying hard to keep himself from laughing at Harry’s awful acting.

Harry walks over to Trisha and offers his hand to help her up.

“Oh, so kind of you. Alright. I suppose we can go for a tour.” She looks at Zayn and blushes. “Quite a gentleman here, aint he?”

She accepts Harry’s hand in hers as he helps her up. Harry is immediately struck with nerves as he walks to the door.

_What do I tell her? How do I introduce her to Liam? What if she gets upset at me?_

\-----

To be continued….


	25. Author's note

Please note, this story is on pause until Ramadan ends. I appreciate your continued support and promise to bring you good works thereafter. To all those celebrating, Eid Mubarak!


	26. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took me long to get back after Ramadan. I was away on vacation for some time. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'm extending my story for another 3 chapters. I keep pushing it back because I need to resolve everything for this ship to sail. -Z

Harry leads Trisha down the elevator

“We have to take this other… um .. elevator from the lobby to get to the patio.”

Trisha smiles and nods.

“They have lovely petunias in the patio.”

_Okay… wow. Lying is addictive. I need to stop._

“Oh I imagine they would!” She replies enthusiastically.

Harry’s heart begins to race. Liam is just outside.

He steps out to the main floor. Liam’s head is hung down. He looks up when the door opens.

He swallows thickly as he slowly approaches the duo.

“Mrs.… Malik?” He says.  
Trisha’s head angles to the right as she tries to place the man’s face.  
“Yes?” She responds curiously.

Harry steps behind her and let’s Liam take the lead.

“I’m…” He clenches his jaw tightly. “It’s me, Liam.”

Trisha’s jaw drops.

“Liam!!”

She steps forward and wraps her arms around him. She squeezes his body with the sincerity of a mother affection.

“Oh Liam.” She whispers into his grasp.

“Ma’am.” He shakes his head apologetically as they begin to release hold of one another. “I’m...I’m so sorry for all that I’ve caused. I’m..” He pauses and bites his lip fighting back the tears.

“I’m just so sorry. I never.” He chokes. “I never would’ve done this knowing Zayn would get hurt.”

“Oh noooo.. Liam” She reaches in for another hug. “No, no… It’s not your fault love. I should have done better to protect my son.”

“Ma’am, I’d give my life to protect your son.” Is all that escapes Liam’s lips before he begins to sob into her embrace.

“Please, love, please, don’t cry. There’s no use in crying anymore. Please.” She wipes at his tears as he nods in response.

“Ma’am.” His voice trembles.

Trisha shakes her head. “Please, call me Trisha.”

He nods again in between shallow breathing.

“I know this is a hard time for everyone but please, I beg of you. I must meet your husband. Zayn’s father. I need to talk to him. I wouldn’t feel like a true man if I didn’t face him.”

Trisha shakes her head.

“I couldn’t let you do that Liam, sorry love. It’s been hard for me to talk him to his senses and I wouldn’t forgive myself if he had said or done anything to you as well.”

“I know.” Liam assures. “I knew you would say that but please Ma’am. If there is anyone that should talk to him, I think it should be me. Please, I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t think. All I do around the clock is think of what I’d be telling him. You need to let me do this. I promise you. You can trust me.”

“I couldn’t trust you with my husband I’m afraid, not at a time like this.”

“Ma’am- Please have a little faith in me. I will at least have walked away knowing that I have apologized for having created all this mess.”

Trisha shakes her head. “Oh no love- don’t say that. It wasn’t you. This shouldn’t be a mess, it’s your right to love.”

“Well, that’s what I’m going to believe for the rest of my life if I don’t get this chance to clear it all up.”

Harry swings his weight onto his left foot. He hasn’t looked up at the pair since he’s delivered Trisha to Liam. He is suddenly learning how brave his friend is wanting to stand up to Zayn’s father. Harry wonders if he would do the same in his position.

“Alright love.” She closes in the gap between them and places a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “Tell you what.” She pauses. “I will drop the girls off to my sister’s tomorrow after school.”

Liam looks up at her with hope glimmering in his eyes.

“It will be much better just the three of us. I won’t tell him your coming of course but I will let you in and we can sit him down together.”

Liam nods approvingly.

“Yes. Yes that would be great. I can’t thank you enough” She smiles at him as she releases her grasp from his shoulder.

  
“But I’m warning you Liam, he isn’t in the best state to have rational discourse. Please do not take it personally what he may say or do. I will do my best to control the situation.”  


Liam nods silently as wipes at the unfallen tears gathered in his eyes.

“Harry was just going to show me some petunias. Would you like to come for a walk with us? Perhaps it would serve you well to clear your mind a bit.”

Harry’s eyes widen.

“Oh thanks really, but I should get going. I have.. a lot of things to prepare for. I will get your number from Harry. I will call you tomorrow?”

He goes in for a hug. “You can call me anytime you want love.”

Harry clears his throat.

“Oh and before I forget.” Liam stops in his tracks. “Please do not mention any of this to Zayn.”

Trisha nods her head with a smile. “Course, Liam. Between us.”

“Thanks Liam.” Harry says awkwardly.

Liam looks at him confusedly not sure what Harry’s thanking him for.

“Well, I will be on my way then. It was a pleasure meeting you.” He pauses. “And you really are as beautiful as Zayn made you out to be.” Liam nods politely.

Trisha laughs with amusement as she waves goodbye to Liam who has now taken his leave.

“Umm.. Trisha.” Harry walks up to her side. “I just remembered. We don’t have petunias anymore.”

“Ohh.” She replies with disappointment. “Not the season for them anyway.” She smiles at Harry.

“We can go back now Harry. I already pieced it together.”

Harry’s shoulders drop. _PHEW_.

“It wasn’t my idea.” He says walking behind her.

“It’s alright love. All in good nature.” She replies turning back to him with a smile.

Harry can’t help but notice that Trisha’s looking happier and at ease after having spoken to Liam.

 _Liam does have that ability_. He thinks to himself.   
  
\-------  
  
Trisha stays with the boys longer conversing mainly with Harry as Louis and Zayn continue to play FIFA. She promises Zayn that things will sort out soon and he will be expected to return home. Zayn nods politely not wanting to press the matter further. Harry excuses himself shortly after she leaves.

“Sorry, I have to be up early to prepare for the lectures. You can help yourselves to whatever leftovers we have in the fridge.”

“You ol’ hag.” Louis replies with a smirk.

“We can’t all stay young forever.”

“I can. I’m Peter Pan.”

“Alright Peter Pan. Goodnight.”  
  
Harry goes to bed wondering if Louis will sleep with him in bed tonight. He doesn’t have expectations after what happened the night before. He waits to be surprised.

\--------

The next morning, he takes a long whiff of Nivea’s men shampoo. Certainly not his. He forces one eye open and finds Louis sleeping soundly in his arms. He smiles to himself. He could get used to this. He doesn’t want to stir or move but he needs to be in the office in an hour.

Harry cautiously tries to withdraw his arm without waking Louis up but Louis quickly turns to him.

“Morning.” Harry says with a groggy voice.

“Morning.” Louis responds with a smile.

“Sleep well?”

“Better than I have slept in ages.” Louis responds.

Harry is satisfied with his answer. He is cautious about getting too close feeling self-conscious about his morning breath but Louis doesn’t seem to mind because he is already stretching out his neck to place a quick peck on Harry’s lips that sends his insides soaring.

“Have a great day at work Tinkerbelle. I will see you in class.” He falls back asleep as quickly as he has risen.

Harry smiles as he watches Louis sleeping peacefully.

 _And to think I hated his guts just a few months ago._ _How fast the tides changes._

\---------  


Liam is at the airport after his first lecture to pick up Niall. He is off for the rest of the day having cancelled his second lecture due to ‘family emergency.’

He pulls up to where the bleach blonde lad stands and gets out to greet him.

“Nialler.” He says as he takes him in for a hug. “What’s going on? You alright then?”

Niall smiles. He feels relieved to be with a friend again.  “’m alright.”

He slips into the passenger seat as Liam turns to get in.

“You came back real fast, you could’ve stayed longer you know.”

“more than enough time fer me.” Niall responds.

Liam nods not sure if he struck a chord with him.   


“Where am I taking you? Zayn’s still at Harry’s if you want company. I’ve got something else to do at the moment.”

“Sure, yea. If Zayn’s alright wit it.”

Liam pats Niall’s knee.

“What do you mean? Of course Zayn’s going to be alright with it.”

Niall nods his head with a sheepish smile.

Liam brings his hand to the back of Niall’s seat as he backs out and steers the car onto the road.

“Alright, Harold’s place it is.”

The two remain silent until its interrupted with Niall’s phone vibrating against the cup holder.

“Your phone mate.” Liam says to Niall who’s mindlessly staring out the window.   
“Oh—oh right.” Niall’s confused. He isn’t used to his phone going off. He reaches for his phone. It’s a text from George.

_Hi Niall. I hope you’re feeling better today. Let me know once you’ve landed safely in London._

Niall smiles to himself. He feels butterflies just at reading George’s name on his screen. This is a pleasant surprise. A very pleasant one at that.  
  
“Oh finally, a smile.” Liam looks down to Niall’s phone but looks away immediately to concentrate on the road.   
  
“good news I hope?” He asks.

“No..” Niall hesitates. “Not erm.. news. Just a friend checkin’ up ya?”  
“Friend from back home?”

“Somethin’ like it.”

“Hmmm.. something like it?” Liam quickly turns to look at Niall with a smile.  “Something you want to tell me mate?”

“hmmm?” Niall says peering over his phone.

“what is it?” He chuckles. “Have they got you frustrated too then?” he asks observing Niall on his phone.

“I’ll tell ya later.” Niall responds with a blush.

“I’m not letting this down later. I will pester ya about it you tosser.”

Niall laughs at Liam who is eyeing him slyly.

Liam silently thanks God that Niall is no longer in a damper mood. The two continue to have small talk until he is dropped off at Harry’s.

\-------------

Two hours later, Liam pulls up a few meters from Zayn’s home. He rolls down his window and lights up a quick cigarette. He reclines in his seat as he tries to remember everything he’s planned to say and rehearses it again in his mind.

His phone vibrates.

_All clear, let me know when you are here love._

It’s a text from Trisha. He exhales deeply as he hits send on his reply.

_Just outside now. Coming in._

Liam takes short strides as he walks up the driveway. His heart is pounding in his chest despite his internal war within himself to remain calm and collected.

The front door opens before he has a chance to ring the doorbell. Which is probably for the best anyway.

“Liam, hi!.” Trisha smiles at the boy as she pulls him in to kiss his cheek. “Zayn’s dad is just upstairs, he usually showers after work, should be done and down here soon.”

Liam smiles and nods, he hands her a small pot of flowers.

“Got you this. I hope you like daisies.” He manages to say through his wrecking nerves.

“Oh you shouldn’t ‘ave!” She takes the wrapped pot from his hands and leads him inside.

“It’s my first time here, couldn’t come empty handed.”

“Oh you are too kind Liam, really. I haven’t known you long but I can see why Zayn’s fallen for you.”

Liam blushes. He assumes that Trisha doesn’t know that he and Zayn don’t speak anymore. He is fond of her. He can’t blame Zayn for wanting to choose her over him. The same is yet to be said about his father.

“What could I get you to drink? Tea, coffee?” She asks kindly after placing the pot on the coffee table. “We have some mango juice too if you’d like.”

“Tea, would be great thank you.”

Liam nods politely.

“make yourself at home Liam, I’m just in the kitchen there if you need anything.”

\------  
  
A few minutes later..  
  
“Those are lovely pictures.”

“Oh- wait, I think I hear him coming down the stairs now.” Trisha whispers to Liam.

He immediately feels his heart sink and adrenaline rush through his veins.

_No. not fleeing. It’s time to fight it._

“Trisha.” A deep voice echoes from behind the wall.

“I’m in here.” He she yells out.

A tall figure cladded in pinstripe pajamas and a white cotton t-shirt comes into sight.

He looks taken back, examining Liam and looking back to Trisha, who has now stood up. Liam follows suit and stands up tall.

“Yasir—we have a guest.” She points to Liam.

“A guest.” He repeats sternly, looking Liam up and down.

“Sir.” Liam steps forward. “I’m here to speak to you about your son. Please allow me just five minutes of your time.”

“Who are you?” he asks.

“This is Liam.” Trisha answers as she sideway steps between them for extra measure.

“Another sodomite in my home?”

“Yasir!!” Trisha moves forward and glowers him intensely. “That is no way to treat our guests!!! And this is OUR house Yasir!!! OUR house!!”

He moves past Trisha furiously to take a seat on the couch. “Sit!”

Liam nods and takes a seat at his demand.

“Umm, sorry Trisha, actually, could we just be alone?” Liam asks her.

He hears Zayn’s father sneer at his request.

She nods hesitantly without saying a word and walks to the kitchen.   
  
“Sir, you don’t know me but I know much about you.” Liam begins. “I’ve been with Zayn for some time now and all he ever talks about is his family. You couldn’t imagine how much he loves you all.”   


His father sneers again. “Is this what you have come to tell me?”

“No.” Liam looks down at his hands.

“I’ve come to tell you more.” He looks up at Yasir.

 _This is it._ He thinks. _This is the moment where I own it or completely fail. Deep breath._

“You know Mr. Malik. I came here with a lot of faith.” He swallows thickly. “I knew you wouldn’t turn me away because that’s not the case in Islam and I knew you would hold your better judgement and let me speak.”

The older man shifts in his seat, his arms now crossed and his posture a degree more attentive.

“and what it is that you have to say?”   
“I want to talk to you about love.” Liam confidently asserts.

Yasir keeps himself from rolling his eyes, pressing his lips together instead.

“I mean, it’s only the leading principle in Islam. To love, to be in peace, to want peace and to shower others with love and peace.”

Liam pauses again, recollecting himself.

“It’s what drew me close to Islam.  Knowing that I can find solace in a belief so firmly indebted to love and peace. And I know that there’s a verse that reads that no man shall lie with another man but then, there are so many other versus and even in the suna that preach of love. God is love. So what is the value of one thing that is rarely mentioned and how does it measure up to another that is the sole foundation of a whole belief? How do you justify this? How do you denote what love should be, when love should be infinite and dissolute of any limitations like God himself?”

He pauses.

“Zayn and I have only loved. We have not committed no crime nor caused prejudice or harm to anyone. I never turned my back on Islam, I didn’t have to seek it nor accept it but when I found it, I found it with the same joy and devotion that I had for Zayn. It settled in me so peacefully and naturally.” He swallows again. “I wish that Islam would not turn its back on me for being gay.”  


Yasir exhales out loudly and shifts closer to the end of the couch.

“You speak of Islam.. are you are a convert Mr. Liam?”

“I just discovered it more is all.”

“Did Zayn ask you?”

“No sir, Zayn would never force anything on me. I just decided to look into it more after meeting him. I was intrigued by him. Everything about him, his family, his way of living, including the religion he followed. That’s what you do when you love someone.”

“So you found Islam.”

“Islam found me.”

Yasir nods silently.

“I’m not in place to dictate whether it should turn its back on you Mr. Liam. I’m happy you found the way of our fathers but you are not doing it right.”

“Right?” Liam scolds. “right?! You can’t dictate whether it should turn its back on me but you can remark that I’m not doing it right?”

“Homosexuality has no place in Islam.”

“Islam is love! What do you think homosexuality is? Sir, I beg of you. Tell me what is homosexuality to you?”

“Men sleeping with men.”

“Men sleeping with men they love!”

“Not in all cases.”

“Not in my case then! because Zayn and I are monogamous and in love! We are normal beings like you and your wife. We neither go around flaunting our gayness nor our religion.”

“Watch how you speak of religion!” He yells.

“Watch how you define it then!” Liam shouts back.

“What is that you want me to say to you? That you can be with my son? That I will welcome you both with open arms in my home that I have righteously protected?”

“No.” Liam stands up from his seat. “I didn’t come here for you to take me in. I came here to ask you to take Zayn back and love him for what he is.”

“I decide that.”

“No- Islam already decided that when it placed a heavy emphasis on loyalty to family. Your own blood clot. You will refuse it now? You will deny it because he learned to love without distinction unlike yourself?”

“Don’t talk to me about how I love. You will not disrespect me in my own home.”

“I’m not disrespecting you sir. I’m making you more aware. I ask you, for the sake of your family. Please! Please, go see your son and take him back. He has nothing outside your family.”

“He’s got you and his sinful ways now.”

“He doesn’t.” Liam shifts in his spot. “I told you earlier. He has chosen you. I have no place in his life now. And his ways aren’t sinful. Killing, lying, cheating those are sins. Are you going to tell me that you have never committed any sins yourself?”

Yasir looks taken back at Liam’s comment.

“That’s, that’s all I came to say. I’m sorry for having caused a rift in your family sir. I will take my leave now.”

Yasir does not protest. He watches as Liam walks to the door and turns back.

“and thank you for listening to me.” He closes the door behind him slowly and exhales out loudly as he walks back to his car.

He falls back onto his seat and closes his eyes gathering his thoughts for a minute.

_Did I even say what I wanted to say? Was it enough? Is it going to change his heart? Did I just make things worse for Zayn?_

He exhales out loudly again as he turns on the engine.


	27. Chapter 24

  
**Back at Harry’s condo the boys clear the table after dinner and settle in the living room. No one pressures Niall into talking about his trip back home or his brother’s funeral. He focuses on his project with Zayn instead and they agree to sit down and discuss it after dinner together.**   
  
“Are we going to have the privilege of hearing you sing then?” Louis pesters as sits between Zayn and Niall.  
  
Z: Oh bugger off, this is serious work man.

N: It’s arite, he can stay. I don’t mind really.  
  
Z:  Only if he can shut his mouth.  
  
Louis pats Niall on the back.  
  
L: That’s a lad Nialler!

   
_\--Meanwhile in the bedroom, Harry is on the phone with Liam--_  
  
H: How’d it go at Zayn’s today?”

Li: I don’t know Harry. I feel like… not I feel, I KNOW I messed it all up. I probably made things worse. Death is beckoning me to its arms.  
  
H: Don’t say that. You don’t know for sure. Did he kick you out?  
  
Li: No, no. Thank god for that.  
  
H: Then I’d say things went alright between you.  
  
Li: I don’t know Harry. I don’t even want to think about it anymore. How’s Zayn doing?

H: He is fine Liam. I promise. He’s been playing video games with Louis. He couldn’t be better.  
  
Li: Speaking of which, my console is missing and I know that knob head Louis took it!  
  
H: Heyyyyy… don’t call Louis a knob head.  Zayn gave him the key.  
  
Li: Oh I know but it was definitely Louis’ idea.  
  
H: I can bring it to you tomorrow.  
  
Li: No, no. Just wished one of them had the audacity to ask instead of being dodgy about it.  
  
H: Well, its Louis and Zayn.  
  
Li: I miss him Harry.  
  
H: I’m sorry that you do.  
  
Li: Not your fault Harry. I’m really glad you’ve --- _*doorbell rings at Harrys* ---_ been taking care of him really.  
  
H: Liam, I’ll call you right back.  
  
Li: Is everything okay?

H: Yes, just need to wee.  
  
*hangs up*

Deep down Liam feels unsettling. His nerves start to irk him and his adrenaline begins to rush through his body.  
  
\-------------  
  
Harry runs into the living room. The three boys are seated in the living room, looking at him.   
  
H: Whose at the door?  
  
L: We haven’t checked.

Z: If it’s Liam I’m going inside.  


Harry looks at them suspiciously. He can’t think of who it may be. He walks cautiously towards the door and peers in through the peephole.   
  
It’s Trisha.  
  
He turns around to the boys.

“It’s Trisha.”  


“My mum?” Zayn asks.

Harry nods.

“Hope she’s brought more muffins.” Louis chirps in.

Harry opens the door.  
  
“Trisha!.” He smiles with his arms wide open.  
  
“Harry- hi.” Her voice sounds a bit shaky.  
  
“Harry I need a word with you.” She tugs on the boy’s waist pulling him to the outside corridor.  
  
The door closes behind them.  
  
“What’s going on?”

“Zayn’s father is here.” She whispers and looks over to Harry’s left side where Yasir stands.   
  
Harry doesn’t respond looking clueless.

“He is here to speak with Zayn.” She pulls him closer and whispers in his ear. “to patch things up.”  
  
She’s got a nervous smile, but a smile at least to convince Harry that this is the truth.   
  
Harry nods silently. He turns back to look at Yasir and outstretches his hand.

“Harry.” Is all he says.

Yasir nods. “Yasir.”   
  
“Pleased to meet you sir.” Harry clears his throat. The door opens up behind him and Louis comes out.

“Harry is everything alright out here?” Louis’ concerned voice comes from behind him.  
  
Harry motions Louis to close the door, to which he obeys and walks over.   
  
_Harry’s phone vibrates in his pocket._  
  
“Umm, Zayn’s father wants to speak to Zayn.” Harry tells Louis. Louis’ eyes dart from Trisha to Harry to Yasir. His hands are on his hips. Louis looks back to Harry wanting more of an explanation. “To patch things up.” Harry says in lower voice stepping closer to Louis.   
  
Louis nods his head. He puts his arm around Harry’s waist while maintaining eye contact with Yasir. He smirks. He’s egging him. He wants to see his reaction to make sure that Yasir is really here to do that.  
  
Yasir doesn’t flinch. He looks to where Louis’ hand rests on Harry’s waist and nods approvingly to Louis.

The door opens again and Niall comes out.   


“Harreh.” He says in his Irish accent. “You aright out ‘ere? Zayn sent me.” Niall instantly blushes when he finds himself in front of 4 sets of eyes. “’ello everyone!” He sees Louis and Harry arm in arm. He feels his face twitch with confusion.

“’M just, gonna get back in there.” Niall says while pointing the door.

Louis reaches out for Niall’s arm. “Nialler, we are going for a walk.”  
“A walk?”

“Yes, Zayn’s parents are here to have a word with him.” Louis explains. He releases his grasp on Harry.  
Niall’s face blushes again. He scratches his head as Louis yanks at him and walks him down the hall.   
  
“Please come in.” Harry says. His phone continues vibrating inside his pocket. He knows it’s Liam calling again.  
  
\----------  
  
Zayn is looking down at a stack of papers when Harry walks in. He is marking something down and doesn’t look up. “Did mum run a city hall meeting in the hallway?”   
  
“No mum was just greeting them in the hallway.” Trisha responds. Zayn’s head shoots up. It takes his brain a few seconds to realize that the numbers dwindled and the faces changed. Niall and Louis are missing and Trisha and Yasir stand before him. His body instantly feels in danger and panic sets in. He drops his pen and moves back in his seat looking at them with worry settling in his eyes.   
  
His mum walks towards him. “Now Zayn, we’ve only come here to speak with you love.”   
Harry motions to Yasir to have a seat in which he nods and takes a seat in the nearest sofa. Zayn avoids looking his father, resting his eyes on his mother instead. Yasir avoids the eye contact too, shifting in place with his hands cupped together.  


Trisha places a hand on his shoulder. “Dad’s come to speak with you. Is that alright then? We will be just outside there.”  
  
Zayn doesn’t respond. He continues to look at his mother with the same worry in his eyes. His hands begin to tremble in his lap. His mother takes his hands into her own and kisses his right temple.   
  
“It’s alright Zayn. You can trust mum?” He nods.

“Then it will be just fine. Harry and I are just outside this door.” He nods again. She squeezes his hand and stands up, walking over to Harry.

 ---------  
  
Harry and Trisha stand in the hallway just outside the door. Trisha takes both of Harry’s hands into her own and squeezes them as she leans against the wall. She looks worried and pleased; Harry can’t seem to figure which one emanates more.   
  
“It’s going to be alright.” She whispers to Harry with a smile and squeezes his hands. Harry realizes his eyes have been wide with uncertainty the entire time. He relaxes his facial muscles and focuses on keeping calm. He never imagined himself to be in the middle of such a dramatic situation.   
  
_How did my apartment become a busy crosswalk?_ He thinks to himself _. It’s like a central meeting place for everyone in my life._ He feels that his apartment has gained importance and status that even he does not have a claim to. He is proud of it for reasons unknown to him.

*His phone vibrates again.*  
  
“Umm, uh Trisha sorry, I just have to take this call.” He says as he slowly withdraws his hands and reaches for his phone. “Liam’s been calling non-stop.”  
  
She smiles at him and nods her head. “It’s alright love. I’d like to speak to him myself.”

H: Yes Liam?  
  
Li: Where are you Harry?  
  
H: I’m standing outside in the hallway with Trisha.  
  
Li: WHY?!! WHY ARE YOU IN THE HALL? WHERE IS ZAYN? WHY AREN’T YOU BOTH WITH ZAYN?

H: he is inside the apartment with his father.

Harry clears his throat.

Li: ARE YOU FUCKING MAD HARRYY?!?!

Harry tries to cut in

Li: I’M COMING NOWWWWW- GET YOUR ARSE BACK IN THERE

H: Liam!! Liamm!!! LIAMMMM LISTEN TO ME!! He is fine!! They are just talking. Trisha and I are keeping an eye on them.

Li: I’M ON THE WAY HARRY!!!!!

Trisha snags the phone from Harry.  


T: Liam, love! Everything is okay!!! Don’t panic! I promise everything is fine. I won’t let anything happen to Zayn I promise.

Li: Trisha… what is going on?

T: I don’t know Liam but thank you.

Li: Thank you?

T: Yes, after you left Yasir begged me to bring him to his son to apologize.   
  
\--------  
**  
Meanwhile downstairs in the condominium lobby..**

“What you reckon’ he’s ‘ere ter talk about?” Niall asks Louis.

L: Don’t know. Harry said he’s here to make up. I wish I would’ve brought a snack with me. Who do you keep textin’ lad?  
  
Louis snatches Niall’s phone out of his hands.   
  
Niall screams out and wrestles Louis on the lobby’s sofa.

“give it ‘ere’” He yells.

“oiii… that’s a long conversation mate.” He scrolls up on Niall’s texts.

“Louis!!!!” Niall stops struggling under Louis’ weight.

“Common now Nialler, whose George?” Louis smirks and gets off Niall.  He hands his phone back to him.

“Just er friend.”

Louis nudges him.   
  
“Don’t remember the last time I had a conversation that long with ‘just er friend’ over text.”  
  
Niall shrugs.

\----------  
  
**Meanwhile inside Harry’s apartment...**  
  
“Zayn.”

Zayn doesn’t look up at his father. He remains still.

Yasir clears his throat.  
  
“When I married your mother, my father told me I must do everything in power to uphold our traditions and religious customs.”

He pauses.

“I never argued with my father. I never questioned what he asked of me. I always silently obeyed his wishes.”

Zayn’s eyes dart around the space where his father’s feet are resting.

“I wanted to be a man like my father. Respected, feared, loved.”

Yasir clears his throat again.

“A few days ago, when you told us…. I.  
I..

I felt like a failure.  
I felt like I let my father down.   
Let myself down.”

Yasir sits up straighter in his place.

“But today, I realized that it wasn’t because of your coming out that I felt less of a man, less of the father I want to be.”

“No-__”

“Today, when your -- Liam came, (Zayn’s eyes jump up to his father’s face when he hears Liam’s name) he made me see the real reason why I felt like a failure.”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with you…  
I learned, that I was not like my father..  
I wasn’t loved…  
maybe feared but not loved and you know why that is?”

Zayn keeps silent. Looking back down at his hands in his lap.

“Because I haven’t been kind with my love. I haven’t shown unconditional love to you or your sisters or your mother…  
… all these years I’ve been focused so much on being the head of the household that I’ve forgotten the most important thing.  
… to hear Liam speak of love today. It sounded so foreign to me. It was like a distant memory, this love. I can’t believe I’ve been hiding in darkness. I’m a disgrace to Islam. I haven’t been inviting, I’ve been driving people away Zayn. Not just at home but all around. All because of my insecurities.”

He chuckles to himself.

“Can you believe all my life I thought, if you show love or adoration it is seen as a sign of weakness? Of vulnerability?”

Zayn slowly nods.   
  
“Then there’s Liam who unexpectedly walks in and talks of love with so much confidence before me in my own home and ends up looking more of a man than I?  
  
and he is right you know… Islam is all about love. The one thing I repressed so deep in my heart. I’ve been lying to myself all this time, thinking I’m a devote, pious man and yet I did not share with others God’s greatest teaching.”

He pauses and swallows thickly.

It’s a rather long pause.

There’s a sigh.

A bit of tremble.

And a shaky voice.

“I’ve failed my father, myself, my family and even God!” He begins to sob his words out.

Zayn looks up frightened, he has never witnessed his father cry. He isn’t sure whether to move or not.

“Zayn!! I’m sorry son. I’m so sorry for all that I’ve done to you and Liam and your sisters, your mum. Please find it in you to forgive me, I’ve got nothing now, not even the heavens of the promised after life!” His sobs get louder. He covers his face and cries into his hand that is supporting his head.

Zayn stands up and walks over to him. He places an arm around his father.

“I forgive you.” He whispers with a tremble.

The doors open and Trisha walks in looking panicked.

“Everything alright?” She asks from far. She takes a minute to study her husband crying and her son holding him. Zayn motions her over. Yasir stretches out one arm to grab hold of Trisha. He does not look up at her but finding a moment of breath he cries out to her to forgive him.

“Trisha… I’m sorry.” He continues to cry.

“I haven’t been kind to you.”

Harry peers his head into the apartment long enough to see that the family is all embracing one another.

He misses his own family.

Mostly his mum.

He remembers Louis is downstairs.

He feels overwhelmed again, surrounded by all the emotions around him.

Harry quarrels with himself inside his head about whether or not being around this much mixed emotions is any good for his health. He makes his way downstairs.

\------  
  
He walks out of the elevator to find Niall on the phone and Louis trying to juggle the plastic apples from the lobby’s décor.

“Loueh.” He says in his deep voice.

Louis looks up, surprised to see him.

_One of the apples falls to the floor._

“Yes, sweet cheeks?”

Harry doesn’t say anything. He sits down next to Louis and immediately sinks into Louis’ arms.

Louis tosses the apples aside and wraps one arm around Harry’s shoulder and the other he brings to his waist.

“What’s wrong precious?”

“’M tired.” Harry says.

“Too much happening around you?”

Harry nods.

“It will end soon. You’ve been great. A great host to everyone.”

Harry nods.

Louis kisses the top of his head.

“What can I do for you to make you feel better?”

Harry shrugs.

“Just be here.” He finally answers.

“I’m always here pumpkin.”

Harry looks up and smiles at Louis.

Louis eyes shrink behind his smile but two glistening pools of blue pierce into Harry’s soul. For a minute Harry cannot believe it. He is in the arms of Louis.

Louis.

Louis, the former forward on Oxford’s footy team.

Louis, the dapper dressing and stubborn lad.

Louis, the secret genius and honorary student.   
  
Harry bites down on his bottom lip as he takes in that Louis is now his. His partner. His lover. His confidant.

Louis tugs at Harry’s bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.

“Stop biting on your precious lip.”

Louis pulls his lip down and leans in to kiss the inside.

Harry feels butterflies intensify in his stomach. Is this feeling ever going to dwindle? _I hope not._  
  
“Louis! Harry!” A voice behind them makes Louis jump. Liam appears before them.

“What are you doing here?” Louis asks.

“Just came to make sure everything is okay.”

“Everything is okay.” Harry says in a hushed tone.

“And Zayn?”

“He is upstairs, making up with his parents.” Harry answers.

“Nothing to be concerned about?”

“Nothing to be concerned about.” Harry repeats.

Liam turns to look at Niall who is standing a few meters away.

“Niall?”

Niall looks over to him and nods, still talking on the phone.

“Whose Niall on the phone with?”

“With George, what’s it to you?” Louis asks in an aggressive tone.

“Oh bugger off—whose George?” Liam turns to Harry.

Harry shrugs.

“His new beau.” Louis replies

Liam looks a little confused, he looks back at Niall.

“ooooHh….” He says, as he pieces one and two together. He nods his head and smiles.

“Right… George.”

“What do you know of George?” Louis asks.

“They kept texting when I picked him up earlier.”

Louis smirks.

“He’s got a gig here in London Wednesday night, we should all go and meet him.”

Harry smiles in Louis arms. He doesn’t know about this but he is happy for Niall.

“We mustn’t let our Nialler settle for any one less than average.” Louis jokes.

Niall looks over at him and flips him off.

The group laugh at his gesture.

“When are you going back up?” Liam asks.

“Whenever Trisha calls me.” Harry responds by showing him his phone.

“I’m getting hungry.” Louis responds.

“I haven’t eaten all day. Smoked more than I have had food or drink.” Liam says.

“I have food upstairs.” Harry turns to Liam. “We had leftovers from dinner. You are welcome to have some.”

“I can’t Harry. Thanks though. I can’t eat when I’m stressed or anxious.”

“Everything’s fine Liam.” Louis says.

\--------------


	28. Chapter Twenty-Five

 

**Setting: The boys are still seated in the lobby, Zayn remains with his parents in Harry’s unit upstairs.**

“Harry love, can you move just a tad, me phone is vibrating.”

Louis reaches for his phone.

“Yeah Zayn?”   
  
_(Liam is triggered and watches Louis intently)_

“Is Harry with you?”

“Yes, would you like to speak to him?”

“Why isn’t he answering his phone man?”

“I don’t know, let me ask him. ---Harry love, why aren’t you answering your phone?”

Harry looks frantic as he reaches for his phone. Two missed calls from Zayn.

“Oops. I’ve been laying on it, must’ve accidently silenced it.” He looks a bit worried. Louis turns the phone away from his ear.

“It’s alright babe.” He smiles at Harry and caresses his chin.

“What’s going on Zayn?” –“ Alright, I’ll let him know.” Louis hangs up.

“Zayn says we can come back now.”  
Harry gets up and pulls at his shirt.

“Liam you goin’ up?” Niall asks Liam.   
  
“I can’t. Zayn’s there.”

“That’s alright, I’ll stay down ‘ere wit ya.” Niall responds.

“Alright lads, see you in a bit.”

Louis wrestles Harry’s hand away from his shirt and holds it in his own as he paces towards the elevator.

\-------  
  
**Upstairs in Harry’s unit the Malik s are waiting by the door ready to leave.**

“Harry dear, thank you so much for everything. We have been such an inconvenience to run you out of your own home. Sorry dear.” Trisha takes him in for a hug. Louis props Zayn who stands next to her with a glow on his face. Yasir nods at the two boys and shakes their hands.

“Thank you Harry. Thank you Louis. It’s been a while since we’ve seen you at our home, do drop by sometime.” He looks over to Harry. “And bring Harry with you.”

“Will do Sir.” Louis politely nods.

“Uh Harry, thanks again for all your hospitality, we really are indebted to your kindness love.  Zayn’s coming home with us. He’s already packed some things.” Trisha says looking over to Zayn’s bag.

“Harry.” Zayn sighs heavily sounding a bit relieved. He reaches out a hand to pat Harry on the back. “Thanks for everything man, I’m going to miss it here.”

Harry smiles at him, reminding him how deep his dimples are.

“Always welcome here.” He pats Zayn on his back. “Come here.”

Harry pulls Zayn in for a tight hug and holds him for a few seconds before Louis’ intentional cough draws him back.

The five of them exchange a few last words before Louis and Harry find themselves alone in the apartment.

“Well, good to see everyone happy.” Louis says settling down on the couch.

“Except Liam.”

“Oh shit..” Louis replies looking sideways. “He’s going to see Liam downstairs.”

Harry’s eyes widen as he bites his bottom lip. “Do we tell him?”

“Nah,” Louis lifts his feet onto the coffee table and lays back in his seat. “I’d rather see how this plays out.” He smirks.

\-----  
  
**Meanwhile downstairs Liam and Niall are engaged in the topic of George. Liam sounds genuinely interested.**

“Oh, yeah? I’ve been to that venue before. It’s a great venue actually. I’m excited to hear their music. Have you heard him play before?”

Niall blushes and shakes his head.

“No I ‘avent. Should I ask him?”

Liam shakes his head.

“Take it as an element of surprise. Let’s not have expectations.”

Niall nods in agreement. “I’m actually very nervous.” He admits.

“To see him play you mean?”

“No. Just to see him again I suppose.”

Liam’s eyes shrink behind his kind, warm smile. “Sounds like someone’s got a real crush!”

A group of footsteps is heard behind them. Niall turns to see who it is; he turns back to Liam looking uncomfortable. Liam follows his gaze and to see Yasir, Zayn and Trisha walking by to get to the main door.

He and Zayn make eye contact.  
  
Liam feels his heart get heavy. It drops into his stomach. A feeling of anxiety washes over him and he feels a thousand knives stab through his already broken body. He is heartbroken. He looks at the boy he loves but the same boy who has cut him off.

Niall stands up to greet the Maliks as they walk out. Liam follows suit and stands up respectfully. He looks away from Zayn. Yasir comes forward.  
  
“Liam.”

Liam nods.

“Sir.”

It doesn’t take a second longer before Liam finds himself in Yasir’s arms. He is being held by Zayn’s father. He hears a repeated utterance of thank yous and God bless you son. Liam can’t respond, his eyes are closed as he tries to deter from looking up at Zayn and for the sake of his own manhood he tries to hold back his own tears.

“Thank you, thank you Sir” is all he says in response.

Liam steps back from Yasir to step into Trisha’s arms. Another exchange of thank yous and kind words are whispered into his ears. She squeezes him tightly. He steps back and stands next to Niall whose still in his bashful state. Liam smiles and nods as the parents say goodnight. Zayn hovers in the back and waves a mediocre goodbye their way with a pressed smile.   
  
There is a lot of tension in the air.

A lot.

Niall strokes his thighs as he sits back down looking at Liam with a sorry face. Liam presses his lips together and shakes his head. The lobby door closes behind the Maliks.

Liam wants to die.   
  
“You okay man?” Niall says.

Liam doesn’t respond. He continues to shake his head. Niall gets up and walks over to Liam on the other side and puts an arm around him.

“It’s arite Liam. You didn’t do nothin’ wrong. Louis told me what you did earlier. Didn’t know you were that brave.”

Liam nods, phasing out.

“Hey.”

Niall makes a point for Liam to look at him.

“You got them back together. Somethin’ to be proud of.”

Liam presses a hand to his mouth stopping himself from quivering.

Liam and Niall look up to a pair of footsteps walking their way.

Zayn stands with his hands in his pocket. He looks at Niall.

“Do you mind if I have a word with him?” Zayn asks.

“Course, yeah.” Niall is surprised at Zayn’s abrupt return.

Liam is in more shock.

“’M goin’ upstairs to Harrys.”

Liam nods at this.

Niall is by the elevator when Zayn sits down on the couch facing Liam.

He clears his throat.

“uhh…”

Liam looks up at him. His eyebrows slightly furrowed with focus trying to keep emotions at bay.

Zayn removes his hands from his pocket and holds his knees.

“Thank you Liam.”

Liam shakes his head.

“Don’t thank me. I haven’t done anything.”

“You’ve done the impossible.”

He continues to shake his head.

“I’m sure your father would’ve come around on his own terms.”

“No.”

Zayn doesn’t speak more.

He and Liam hold eye contact for a few seconds before Liam looks back down.

“I’m sorry Liam.” It comes out in a soft whisper. “I know I hurt you.”

Liam nods, still looking down at his hands cupped together.

“That’s an understatement.”

“Let me make it better.”

“Too late for that aint it?”

“Please.” Another whisper with a tone of desperation.

Zayn looks at Liam’s hands, the focus of his eyes.

“Please.” He whispers again.

“What do you want Zayn?”

“I want you to forgive me.”

Liam shakes his head once.

“Don’t keep your parents waiting. You better get going.”

“But I told them you’d drive me home.”

Liam stops rubbing his fingers together. He looks up at Zayn.

“What do you want Zayn?”

“I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you. I’m sorry if I blamed anything on you.”

“That’s not why I’m mad.”

“I’m sorry I chose them over you.”

“That’s not why I’m mad Zayn.”

“Okay..” Zayn taps his feet. “I’m sorry that I yelled at you and swore.”

“Not it either.”

“Okay Liam, what is it then?”

Liam shoots him a stern look.

“How about you apologize for making this whole thing just yours instead of OURS to fix?”

Zayn clenches his jaw tighlty.

“Okay….  
I’m sorry that I was being selfish.. pushed you away.. and told you that it was my problem and not our problem.”

“Do you understand how a relationship works Zayn?”

Zayn knows he shouldn’t answer. He waits to be told.

“There is no ‘I’ Zayn, there is ‘we.’ If you wanted to be with me, you’d understand that. We stick together through everything.”

“Yes Liam.”

Zayn’s head hangs low.

“I’m sorry, you are right. It was just the situation I was in, it was rough yeah?”

“It was when you needed me the most Zayn! But you pushed me away! How do you think I feel when you pick all our friends before me to help you? To rescue you? To shelter you? Are you not making me feel less deserving to offer a helping hand?”

“Yes.” Is all the escapes Zayn’s mouth.

“I was just scared to let you see me.”

“Zayn, I don’t care how ugly it gets and how bothered it will make me. I need to have been there for you.”

“But you were Liam, you solved it in the end. You are the hero now.”

“I’m not waiting to be a hero by other people’s standards Zayn. I’m not waiting to be a hero at all. I’m just waiting to be acknowledged as an equal.”

Zayn looks up at Liam. His eyes glisten with tears.

“Yes.” He whispers again. “I’m sorry Liam. Really.”

Liam gets up from his seat and walks over to Zayn. He sits down next to him forcing himself to keep his hands to himself.

“It’s alright Zayn.” He whispers back.

Liam doesn’t stir when Zayn wipes at the tears falling from his eyes. He looks at him sympathetically.

“Nothing to cry about.” Liam tells him.

“Yes.” Zayn whimpers. “I messed up our relationship and lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Liam feels heaven’s gate open up before him with the words that come out of Zayn’s mouth.

Zayn turns to him.

“I missed you badly Li-“ He chokes.

Liam pulls him into his strong arms and caresses his back. He kisses his shoulder and soothes him.

“Shhh- it’s alright Zayn, I haven’t gone anywhere. It’s alright.”

Zayn gathers himself and pulls back to look at Liam.

“Are we okay Liam?”

Liam nods with a frank smile.

“We are okay.”

“Okay.” He whispers.

Liam smiles again and wipes at Zayn’s tears.

“And I’ve missed you too.” He says.

Zayn lets out a small smile and leans forward to peck Liam’s lip.

Liam feels the wildfires spread inside his body. _Now is NOT the time Zayn._ He thinks. _He really missed intimacy but this was a serious moment._

“Okay Zayn.” He catches Zayn’s arm.

“Let’s drive you home babe.”

Zayn nods.  
  
\---short chapter, I know.. We are coming to an end. I hope you have all enjoyed the work so far. -Z


	29. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. The next will be an Epilogue.

**Chapter 26**

Niall politely turns down Harry’s invitation to sleep over. He must return to his dorm room for his morning lecture. “I feel like I ‘aven’t been there in ages, time I get goin’ thank you.” He tells him. Harry protests and Louis looks less than pleased.

“Harold—You heard the lad!”

Harry is reluctant to press it any further feeling Louis’ tension rise. He is only conforming to his duties that his mother taught him about being a proper host.

\-----  
  
During the ride home, Zayn and Liam make small talk about school and teaching. There is plenty of silence in between. Lots of feelings and emotions undiscovered. The sort of deep things to be explored a different day after they have leveled and reconciled their current situation. Right now, Liam just wants to enjoy his companionship in silence.

Zayn slowly reaches for his hand; he places his own hand over Liam’s on the shift stick. Liam freezes in place for a second before exhaling out slowly feeling his lover’s gentle caress against his hand. This is what sweet dreams are made of he thinks. He, Zayn, driving in the silent night, cool breeze, music on low and nothing but a raw love waiting to be rediscovered again.

Liam feels a strong desire to attack Zayn and claim him. He misses his lover. His everything. His touch, his scent, his creases and curves, his voice, even the way he watches him when Liam speaks. Zayn’s got an unforgiving way of staring at him. It makes Liam feel bold and weak at the same time. Zayn evokes too much in him. It’s a rare but scary thing.

Liam represses his primal desires.

“Here we are Zayn.”

Zayn looks out, scanning his parent’s home with a longing or estrangement in his eyes, Liam can’t tell.

“Never thought I’d see it again.”

Liam nods.

“Nor did I.” – _Well that was stupid to say._ Liam shakes his head.

“Thank you Liam.”

_Keep your mouth shut, lest you say something stupider._

Liam nods. He exists the car and comes around to get Zayn’s door. Zayn is bashful. Smiling down at his feet as he takes Liam’s hand. He forgets what it’s like to be treated by his courteous lover. Liam leads him up the driveway with a hand gently resting on the curve of his back.

“You’ll call me if you need anything?”

“Yes Liam.”

“Even if its 4 am. If anything happens. Call me right away.”

Zayn places a hand on Liam’s shoulder.

“I’m sure everything will be fine.”

“Right.” Liam hesitates. “Alright well, will you be returning to school tomorrow?”

“I think so.” Zayn says.

“I will pick you up?”

Zayn smiles.

“Sure. I’d love that.”

“Great.” Liam leans forwards and presses a kiss to his forehead.

The door slowly opens, starling the boys. Trisha stands behind the glass screen waving at them with a smile.

“Thought I heard some voices. Thanks for dropping him home.”

She pushes the screen door open, coming out.

“It’s not a problem Ma’am.”

Trisha places an arm around Zayn’s back, smiling at them.

“Liam, we’d love it if you can join us for dinner tomorrow. Yasir would really like it if you could join.”

Liam is both nervous and excited at her invitation.

“We thought we’d also take the opportunity to tell the girls.”

“Oh mum.” Zayn Starts. She puts a hand on his shoulder. “I know Zayn but we can’t hide it for long.”

Liam nods. “It’s fine Zayn. We can do it together.”   
  
“Listen I’ve told them you’ve been away at a soccer tournament all week. If they ask about the bruises-“ She is cut off by Zayn.---“I will say it was a fight at the tournament.”

She doesn’t protest and nods in agreement.

“That could work, yes.” She leans in and kisses his left temple.

“Don’t worry mum..”

 “So we will see you tomorrow?”

Liam nods respectfully at her question.

“You will see me tomorrow ---“ He pauses looking to Trisha “only if you promise not to overdo yourself.”

“Oh don’t be silly, no effort done for you is to be overdone.” She playfully slaps Liam’s shoulder.

He smiles at her touch. Zayn smiles too and Liam can’t help but admire his sincere smile.

Trisha leans in to hug Liam. Zayn feels compelled to do the same and whispers good night into his ear.   
  
Liam returns to his car. He pulls down his front mirror and scans his face.

_Average._

_Good looking._

He takes a side glance.

_Alright._

_I’m handsome._

He thinks about that last smile on Zayn’s face.

Moist lips. Sparkling round eyes. Sharp cheekbones. Pearly whites and a jaw line fashioned by the highest God.

_How did I get someone like Zayn?_

_Fuck._

_I want to wreck him._

_\-----------------------------_

**Meanwhile back at Niall’s dormitory.**

Niall lays down on his bed. His phone keeps vibrating with texts.

_G: I have had to charge my phone 2x today. Don’t remember the last time I’ve had to use it this much._

Niall giggles to himself.

_N: Uh oh. I’m sorry. I should let you go then._

_G: No no. I’m not letting you go till I know you’re soundly asleep._

_N: XD_

He quickly sends a follow up text.

_N: Is it weird that I love the sound of my phone vibrating?_

_G: Not weird at all. I’m feeling the same way._

_N: I keep getting’ butterflies…_

Niall pauses. _Shit. Did I move too quick?_ He hesitates on the response from George. _I hope I didn’t scare him off._

_G: Honestly, butterflies is an understatement Niall._

Another vibrate.

_G: I’m very glad to have met you._

N _: Me too. *blushing emoticon*_

G _: I’m already counting down the days. I wish I had more gigs in England._

_N: Can you?_

_G: Can I get more gigs?_

_N: Yes._

_G: I can definitely try._

_N: I think I’d like that._

_G: =)_

_N: I miss you._

_G: =D_

_G: I miss you too. Didn’t want to sound like a sap saying it first XD_

_N: You can stay with me if you come here more often._

_G: I’d love that!_

_N: I love your smile btw._

_G: Have you seen yours? You’ve got a laughter like nothing I’ve ever seen before._

_N: Then give me reasons to laugh more =P_

_G: Can I give you reasons to laugh and smile forever?_

_Niall feels heart race faster as butterflies swarm his stomach._

_N: *blushing emoticon* yes._

_G: Why can’t I get you out of my mind?_

Niall rolls around on his bed, feeling like a restless teenage girl in love. He is giddy, holding his phone close to him as though it were George himself.

_N: It’s probably because, you won’t get out of mine either._

_G: Is that right?_

_N: It couldn’t be truer._

_G: You know how to make a man blush._

_N: So do you ;)_

_G: I really can’t wait to see you again._

_N: Thanks for calling earlier. I appreciate it a lot._

_G: Pleasures mine. I didn’t like seeing you leave in that condition._

_N: I’m a lot better now._

_G: I have a picture of you._

_N: What?_

_G: Okay… I hope you don’t think… I’m a creep or .._

_N: What picture?_

_G: I’m not a creep. Promise you won’t think I’m a creep?_

_N: I promise….._

_G: When they cleared out Greg’s room. I saw the framed picture of you two by his bed. It’s always been there. I knew about you. I kind of took it._

_N: Oh…_

_G: I was going to give it back to you. Honest. I just didn’t think yesterday was a good time, seeing you in that condition._

_N: I understand. Thanks for keeping it safe._

_G: May I keep it?_

Niall feels his body folding in itself. He feels himself weak. George wants to keep his picture.

_G: It’s on my night table right now. I can’t stop staring at your smile._

Niall blushes. He really feels like he’s fallen prey to George. He is at his mercy. Okay, surrender.

_N: Sure…_

_G: Is that a positive sure? You don’t think I’m a creep?_

_G: This is pretty foolish. I’m sorry. I’m taking it down._

Niall hits the dial button quickly. It rings 2x before George picks up.

G: “Hey..”

Niall feels himself blush. George’s deep voice instantly calms him down.

N: “Don’t take it down. I don’t mind.”

…silence…

G: “You sure?”

N: “I’m just flustered. I promise. It’s arite.”

G: “You both look happy. What was the occasion?”

N: “It was taken at my high school graduation.”

G: “Ah, yes. Definitely an occasion worth smiling about.”

N: “Yeah, just…. I wish I didn’t graduate and leave him.”

G: “Hey, you can’t hold back on your life all the time. You did what you had to Niall.”

Niall exhales loudly.

G: “Niall?”

N: “Ya?”

G: “He was always proud of you, you know? He liked rubbing into our faces that his smart brother got into Oxford. So thanks for making the rest of us feel inadequate.”

Niall lets out a giggle.

N: “You aren’t inadequate.”

G: “And you didn’t make the wrong decision.”

N: “Thanks George. Really.”

G: “So…. Just a few days, are you coming straight to my hotel room when I reach there?”

N: “I will be at the airport.”

George smiles behind the receiver. Niall can sense it. He smiles too. There a comfortable silence.

N: “Can you sing to me until I fall asleep?”

G: “any requests?”

N: “Your originals.”

G: “Alright.” George hesitates. “I’m very nervous to sing to you but, I can’t deny you. So this one is called Over the Creek.”

Niall smiles as George clears his throat over the call.

G: “Ready?”

N: “’M ready.”  
  
G: “I may love you in the morning

Like today, you'll never know

Step this way, I find the garden

Like today, you'll never know

 

Well you may claim that you found me

Like today, you'll never know

Like today, you'll never know

 

Well nonetheless,

I must confess,

That I'm the mess that has been left to save you

 

Your situation must be dire

Your situation must be over the creek

Haunted we speak

But I can't of left you, I still haven't met you

 

Well I may fall into your dance

Like today, I'd never know

We may meet with awkward hearts

Like today, I'd never know

Oh like today, I'd never know

 

Well nonetheless I must confess, that I'm the mess that

Has been left

Well nonetheless I must confess I'm the mess that

Has been left to save you

My situation must be dire

My situation must be over the creek

And haunted we speak, and I can't of left you

I still haven't met you

 

If ever said too much

Hear my last spoken words

And if I never said enough

Well bleed my last spoken words

Well bleed my last spoken words

 

Oh nonetheless I must confess that I'm the mess

That has been left

Well nonetheless I must confess that I'm the mess that

Has been left to save you

Our situations must be dire

Our situation must be over the creek

Haunted we speak, over the creek

Haunted we speak

I can't of left you

I still haven't met you.”’

Niall feels completely weak. This voice. This voice belongs to a man who wants him. Yes, him. Niall. Of all people. Good looking, tall and talented. Niall has never had anything half as great as this but to have all of this is overwhelming. He must be dreaming. Is he dreaming?

G: “Did you sleep?” He whispers.

N: “No, I’m still here.”

Niall can hear George swallow thickly.

N: “That was so great. You have…. . such… such an amazing voice. I knew you’d be great but, not… wow.”

Georges laughs nervously.

G: “Well thanks Niall, but I imagine I’d have tight competition. Greg tells me you sing and play too.”

N: “Not like that.”

G: “I’d love to hear you sing.”

Niall and George continue to talk for another hour before Niall feels himself drifting into sleep. George is careful to stay on the line until all he hears is Niall’s shallow breaths. He waits on the line for a while before hanging up.

\---------------  
  
**Meanwhile in Harry’s condo.**

Harry is in the shower. Louis lays in bed. This is the first time they’ve had the apartment to themselves. Louis feels nervous. Incredibly nervous. He doesn’t know why but he guesses it has something to do with his plans to come onto Harry tonight.

It’s been a long time since he’s done anything physical. He lays restless in bed rehearsing what he will say and do but all that is thrown out the window when Harry appears.

He stands in the doorway of the en suite with a small towel tightly wrapped around his hips. His thin torso is shiny with droplets of water that fall from the ends of his short hair.

Louis’ mind goes blank as he studies Harry’s body.

 _Whoaa… okay. How am I going to work on this tall figure?_ Is his only concern. He forgets how much taller and broader Harry is.

Harry smiles at him as he walks to the dresser. Louis jumps from the bed catching up to him.

He comes up behind Harry and presses his body against him (he stands on his toes.) He places his arms around Harry’s waist. Harry is startled at first but leans into Louis’ chest.

“You smell so good.” Louis hums as he gently places kisses up Harry’s Jawline.

Harry lets out a soft moan as he tilts his head into Louis’ kisses. He feels his knees goes weak.

“Come to the bed baby.” Louis whispers into his ear.

He backs away from Harry, taking hold of his hand.

“Just need to put on my briefs.”

“Later love.” Louis winks at him and leads him to the bed. He helps Harry lay down and slowly comes on top of him straddling his hips. His lips connect to Harry’s jaw again kissing him down to his collarbones. He slowly digs in his teeth, grasping a good chunk of his flesh and starts sucking.

“Louis, you are going to leave marks on me.” Harry howls.

“That’s the idea.” Louis winks and smirks before trailing down his torso again, slowly sucking in mouthfuls of flesh to suck on. He comes back up to suck out sweet kisses from Harry’s lips every once in a while. Harry’s hands stay on Louis’ back holding onto dear life as his legs move restlessly and spine arches under him.

His moans are growing louder and longer as Louis’ lips inch closer to his hips.

“Uhhhhhh, Louissss.”

He opens his eyes and looks down at him. Louis’ face is lined up with his pelvis.  Louis’ eyes shoot up, meeting Harrys. He smiles as his hands find the fold on Harry’s towel and slowly draws it open. He pulls the towel back revealing Harry’s cock.

Louis gasps. He remembers the time when he made out the trace of Harry’s hard-on behind the fabric of his pants but he didn’t realize it would be this long.

He looks up at Harry who is still watching. Louis licks his lips.

“Just sit back and relax love.” He whispers. Harry nods and rests his hands on the back of Louis’ head.

Louis squeezes out a bead of cum with the pad of his thumb, he brings it his mouth and slowly sucks on it while looking at up at Harry.

“MMmmmm… babyyy. You taste sooooo good. Now I know why you eat that kale and carrot rubbish.”

“Heyyyyyyy..” Harry tries to sound offended but he end up moaning into Louis’ mouth that is now wrapped around his girth.

Louis lightly sucks on his head moving his own head in and out, reaching further down each time.

Harry arches his back some more.

“Louehhhhhhh!!” He yells.  


Louis moves away from his cock and looks up while jerking him with his right hand.

  
“Yes baby?”

Harry shakes his head.

“Does it feel good?”

He nods.

“Good baby, let me know if it gets too much.”

He nods again.

\---------------------------

**The next day at Oxford in Queer Literature.**

The boys seem distracted throughout the entire lecture. Niall is constantly texting under his desk and nudging Louis to look down at his phone. Harry keeps looking at Louis who smiles with raised eyebrows and a wink.

Harry is surprised when Louis raises his hand.

“Uh, yes. Go ahead.” He says to him.

“So.. PROFESSOR.” He emphasis the professor. _Oh great, the witty Louis is back._ Harry can hear it in his tone.

“Are you really implying that Dorian Gray is gay because he simply has no interest in anyone but himself?”

“Umm..sort of.” Harry hesitates to answer, watching Louis’ lips move, the same lips that were sucking his cock to his first orgasm.

“Why couldn’t we just assume he is narcissistic and asexual?”  
  
“Well that’s a possibility love.” Harry’s eyes widen. “Louis! Louis. That’s..” he coughs into his cupped hand and furrows his eyebrows. “That’s a possibility.” Louis smiles widely and sinks in his seat licking his bottom lip and folding his arms together. Niall looks up from his phone abruptly, he looks at Harry and back down at Louis with a confused smile and reddened face. He quickly looks back down at his phone trying to diffuse the situation.

“We aren’t really labelling him as one, we are just exploring the different types of sexuality.” He struggles to talk and tugs at his tie loosening it up. “But it’s great.” He presses his hands together. “Right then.” He looks down at his podium and shakes his head. “Asexuality.”

The rest of the lecture passes discussing classifications of sexuality and what it means to adhere to one and not another. Louis doesn’t press Harry further. He continues to smirk at him making him feel flustered.

On his way out he and Niall stop to chat to Harry.

“Close call Hazza.”

Harry shakes his head at him.

“You’re going to get me in trouble Lou.”

He slaps Harry’s back playfully.

“Lighten up and live a little LOVE.”

He laughs and walks off with Niall who giggles at them while typing away at his phone.

\-------  
  
**Setting: Harry and Liam’s office.**

Zayn bursts into their office looking annoyed and frustrated.

“Mum, wants to know if you’re okay with spices.”

“Hello to you too.”

Zayn doesn’t respond looking more serious and agitated.

“Okay--- I can handle spices.”

Harry looks over the rim of his glasses at the tension in the room. His eyes dance between them.

The door opens.  Louis walks in with a big grin on his face.

“Do you guys not know how to knock? This is our private office.” Liam scolds. “Zayn!”

Liam walks over to Zayn as Louis takes a seat on Harry’s desk.

“Zayn. What’s going on?”

Zayn shrugs.

“Right then.” Louis interrupts the tension in the room. “In brighter news, I just negotiated with the Dean. I may be looking at getting back on the team -if--- I promise to get on the Dean list this term and improve my skills on field.”

Zayn gives him a thumbs up turning back to Liam.

Louis looks to Harry. “But not on scholarships. I have to pay my way through.”

Harry nods.

“That means Hazza, I will be working with you.”

“What’s going on?” Liam asks Zayn again, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You want to be a teacher’s assistant for my lecture you mean?” Harry asks.

“For next term, yes.”

Harry doesn’t hesitate. “Of course Lou.” He smiles at him.

“Zayn?”

“I’m just nervous about tonight.”

“What’s tonight?” Louis asks.

“Liam’s invited to Zayn’s for dinner.” Harry answers him.

“Not just dinner. They want us to come out to the girls.” Zayn mutters.

“And your problem is..?” Louis asks while helping himself to the candy on Harry’s desk.  
Liam looks relieved that Louis asked this question, saving him the trouble.

Louis walks over to sit on Harry’s lap.

Harry is a little surprised.

“Well, just worried about their reactions.”

“There is nothing to worry about.” Liam says, pulling Zayn in closer.

“They are my sisters. I care about what they think.”

The door opens again, Niall walks in on his phone.

“One second George.” He places a hand on the receiver. “Do you guys have plans for the weekend?” He asks the group.

“No”—Liam shouts- “Do none of you have respect for our office space anymore?”

“Nope.” Louis says as he sucks on a candy. “I’m allowed.”

“So am I.” Zayn mumbles under his breath.

Alright, so maybe that warmed Liam’s heart. He wails his hands in the air.

“Alright fuck it.”

“What’s happening on the weekend?” Harry curiously asks.

“George is coming.”

“Ahh, that a lad George.” Louis says with a grin.

“We’d love to meet him.” Liam responds.

Niall gives them a thump up.

“All in George.” He says as he leaves the room.

“Guess he REALLY couldn’t wait till next week.” Louis mutters.

Harry playfully kicks Louis’ foot but giggles with him anyway.

“I don’t think your sisters will be a problem Zayn. It’s a different generation.” Harry says.

Zayn exhales out loudly.

“I’m… I’m just like worried they will like… react in front of Liam or say something disrespectful.”

“They are children Zayn!” Liam retorts. “I would understand if they would react that way. I wouldn’t take it personally.”

“Yeah Zayn.” Louis mimics with a smirk as he re-adjusts himself on Harry’s hard crotch.

Harry holds his breath until Louis settles down again. He must be blushing. He could feel his face heat up.

Zayn watches Louis intently. He knows his best friend well enough to know what he is up to.

“Stop teasing him!” Zayn exposes him.

“Can’t.” Is all Louis says.

Liam nods at an embarrassed Harry.

“Alright. Come on.” Liam tells them. “Get of here, we have work to do.”

Louis looks bummed out, Harry shrugs at him innocently.

Liam kisses Zayn’s head, walking him to the door and consoling him about the plans for the evening.

\----------------------------  
  
**Setting: The Malik’s home.**

Liam arrives to dinner at the Malik’s home with a store-baked apple pie from the local bakery. He doesn’t have to ring the door bell, Zayn is already standing on the front porch having a cigarette.

“Nervous are we?”

“You didn’t have to bring anything Liam, really.”

“Oh hush, wouldn’t be gentleman if I hadn’t.”

Zayn rolls his eyes with a smile.

“Always showing off?”

“Hey, you wanted to be with me.”

“I had my reasons man.”

“I’m sure. Is your Mum inside?”

“They are ALL inside.” Zayn emphasis his words, feeling the anxiety wash over him.

“Heyyy now.” Liam places a hand on his shoulders. “Are you really that worried?”

“What if they offend you man?”

“They are young, I’m sure my students offend me more. I know what to take to heart Zayn. Besides, you heard what Harry said. Different generations, different tolerance. You always worry and get anxiety over fears in your own head love. Let it be.”

“Not my family.”

Liam doesn’t respond, he pats Zayn’s bottom signaling for him to enter. He follows closely behind.

Liam is seated in the family living room. He is introduced as Zayn’s friend. The girls politely nod and say hi from a distance, a few giggles are shared between them. Trisha comes back from having put the pie away in the kitchen. She sits next to Liam extending a warm welcome to their home again.   
  
In a few minutes, Liam joins the family at the dinner table. They have a plentiful of dishes to choose from. (Zayn’s quite impressed with his mother’s trying to make an impression on Liam.) They freely converse about their day, Yasir’s job, Zayn’s future goals and Liam’s upbringing. Trisha seems rather eager to know about his parents and what she imagines them to be like.  Liam provides compliments every here and there after trying all her dishes, which puts a smile on her face.  
  
Zayn taps his foot under the table restlessly waiting on the subject to come up but it doesn’t. Not at the dinner table at least.

After clearing the table, they all take seats in the living room again. Trisha hands out coffee and tea with the pie that Liam brought and a few other selections of desserts.  Liam immerses himself in conversation with the girls. He asks about their school and favorite subjects and what they enjoy doing in their spare time. They answer without hesitation although it would be too generous not to note, that they occasionally blush at his curious and insistent questioning.  
  
“I’ll break it to them. Stop worrying so much you look petrified.” Trisha whispers into Zayn’s ear as she settles down next to him.

“Girls, I’m glad you are getting on well with Liam because Liam is going to be a very important addition to our family.”

The girls look mildly confused.

“Liam is actually your brother’s partner.”

Liam clears his throat. Well that happened a lot quicker than he imagined.

Zayn’s jaw looks tightly clenched. Liam can see him tense up.

Zayn doesn’t look at his sisters either,  he stares mindlessly at the television screen.

“Partner?”

“Yes love, they are dating. They are soon to be married.”

“Soon to be married?” Zayn frantically yells– Liam chokes on his tea-

“Well not soon-soon but one day sooner than later god willing.”

The girls giggle at their mom’s comment.

“Don’t you guys like Liam? He is going to be your brother in law.”

Liam chokes on his tea again. Zayn looks at him with embarrassment shading over his face.

The girls don’t respond, they nod instead.

“See?” She looks at Zayn. “Was that hard?”

“Does dad know about this?” Waliyha asks. (Yasir is upstairs praying.)

“Of course dad knows about it, he gave Liam his blessings.”

“Blessings?” Zayn turns to Liam.

Liam shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders pretending not to know.

 _[But Liam knows exactly what Trisha’s is talking about because as soon as Zayn left for a cigarette after dinner, Liam did not waste a minute while helping in the kitchen. He made sure to ask Trisha and Yasir for their blessings to marry their son._  
  
“I’m sorry I just don’t want to hide it from you but before we broke up last time, I was planning to propose to him. I already bought a ring you see. I kind of want to do this soon. I mean like, I’m ready. I got my own home, a car, my job, he is in good hands, I promise. And I live just minutes away. ”  
  
“You got a ring?!?!?!” Trisha’s arms extend open as she steps up to Liam for a hug. He is relieved. He is not sure where all this is coming from. He is either too desperate or too old school.   
  
Yasir nods from a distance, leaning against the counter. He is watching over the water boiling for the tea. 

_“You have my blessings, son. But take your time, we aren’t giving up our only son so quickly yeah?”_

_“You have my blessing toooo!!” She kisses his cheek. “You can marry him tomorrow, if you’d like.” She whispers into Liam’s ear with a soft giggle._

_Liam is feeling a lot of love and a lot of relief]_  


The girls just smile not wanting to prey into territory that is not their own. Zayn feels a bit relieved.

“Don’t you guys think Liam is so handsome?” Their mother asks.

“Mommmmm”— Zayn chimes in. Liam blushes and smiles at Trisha who winks at him.  
  
The girls continue to giggle.    
  
“Zayn is handsome too, all my friends think so.” Waliyha answers.   
  
“You tell your friends to stay away from my man. I don’t need to be getting jealous of 14 year old girls.”

Everyone laughs at Liam’s comment. They all continue to converse well into the night. Yasir eventually joins them and the girls beg to play games of Charades and Heads Up.

\------  


On Saturday Niall, Liam and Zayn drive to the airport to pick up George. Niall is so anxious he can taste blood in his mouth. He finds himself with the tall, handsome blonde in a surreal moment when he comes face to face with him again. _So he isn’t a figment of my imagination after all_. Niall thinks to himself.

Liam drives them back to Oxford where they all join Harry and Louis for lunch.  George and Niall retire to his hotel room to put away his belongings and spend the rest of the day together walking along the streets of Oxford (and no, no hand holding, George is too much of a gentleman to rush the bases on someone special to him.)

Niall spends the next few days with George in between classes, giving him a tour of the campus and Liam’s and Harry’s office where the group spends much of their free time in.

George’s charming and gentle nature rings well with all the lads and finds a fitting spot within their circle. He generously spends his evenings helping Niall and Zayn prepare their music project.

\----------------  
**Wednesday- George’s gig**

“Okay, slow down on the drinks love.” Louis looks over to Harry who is sprawling in their booth.

“Might be a good idea to give him more of a buzz. For your sake if you know what I mean.” Liam winks at Louis.

“For my sake?”

“Yeah, he gets clingy… very touchy when he gets drunk.”

“Wait---“ Louis looks at him suspiciously.

“Something you want to tell us?” Zayn asks his boyfriend.

“No—no!!” Liam frantically jumps to his defense. “Nothing.. no like that. I’ve- Okay help me out here Harry.”

Harry shrugs in his seat, he has a big smile with hollow dimples on his face.

“He’s gotten drunk with me before. Nothing happened. I just know he’s a sap.”

“That all?” Louis asks sternly.

“Promise.” Liam looks at Zayn confirming his honesty.

“Do me a favor?”

Harry looks at Louis earnestly waiting for his command.

“If you ever get drunk again. I’m the only one you touch, understood?”

Harry nods with a smile. He leans forward and throws his body onto Louis.

“Oii--- big boy, easy on me crotch.” Louis winces in pain as he takes an elbow to his groin.

Niall walks over to the table with a round of shots.

“On the house. George is hookin’ us up tonight.”

“Bottoms up!” Zayn waits for the boys to grab their glasses before he toasts.

“To Niall and George!!!” He drunkenly yells.

Niall blushes looking back to the stage wondering if George heard his friends.

George is on stage tuning his guitar and messing with the cords. He does not hear Zayn but looks their way to meet Niall’s gaze with a sincere smile. Niall smiles back and gives an awkward wave.

“Excited to hear him play?” Liam asks him.

“Incredibly.”

“Hey- hey!!” Liam shouts. “Will you two get a room?”

Harry and Louis are caught making out in their corner of the booth. Louis right hand is lost in Harry’s short strands. His other hand comes off his waist to give Liam the finger.

Zayn whistles and howls as Liam shakes his head at their disgustingly cute public display of affection. He can’t help if he feels a little jealous of his friends. Liam takes another sip of his beer and leans into Zayn.

“Sleepover tonight?”

Zayn doesn’t look at Liam but a smile spreads across his face as he nods in agreement. It’s been a LONG time he thinks. He and Liam didn’t want to rush back in but tonight’s an exception. They are all out to have fun and maybe with some luck even Niall will get some tonight (he does but only the first kiss.)

The end.

 

 

**Epilogue**

The next year, Louis finds himself back on the University’s footy team having made it back onto the Dean’s list. He gets a position as Harry’s teaching assistant, having come in the top of his class. He eventually graduates Law School in first place and continues to live with Harry.

Liam proposes to Zayn a year later during his graduation ceremony. He gets his parent’s blessing and asks for Zayn’s hand. Zayn accepts and the two arrange for their wedding ceremony in December. Zayn moves in with Liam only after they are married.

George makes a permanent move to England, accepting a position as an entertainer with the center for mental health and addiction in Oxford. He puts out an album and kick starts his singing career with Niall’s encouragement. Niall graduates two years later and goes on to become a financial analyst with a local financial institute. He and George move into their own flat in Oxford. 

\------  
  
**Four years down the road.**

Louis has already made a name for himself having become a notable lawyer. He is well paid and well recognized for his witty attitude and shameless remarks within the _Supreme Court of  the United Kingdom_.

“Harry.” Louis calls out as he comes home late.

“Yes Lou?” Harry’s voice emerges from their bedroom.

Louis tracks Harry’s voice to their bedroom.

He finds Harry in bed reading a book.

“Hi love.”

“Hi love.” Harry smiles up at him, taking in the suit cladded Louis.   
  
The same suit Louis wore when he met him four years ago on the first day of class.

“I got … um.. something for you.” Louis walks over to the bed and hands Harry an envelope.

“For me?” Harry is excited, quickly grabbing it from his hand. He tears open the envelope and finds a thank you card.

Harry’s motions slow down as he carefully opens the card.

 

_My dearest love Harold,_

_Thank you for putting the wind in my sails. Your kindness has helped me reach my destination. Here is my repayment for your services._  
  
I love you always,

_Louis Tomlinson. Esq._

 

Harry giggles at the Esquire. Of course, Louis would put Esquire as his title.  He pulls out a note from the card’s fold. It is a check.  It’s a check made out to Harry styles from Louis Tomlinson in the amount of 75, 000 pounds. Harry is taken back and looks at Louis.

Louis is kneeling in front of him on one knee. Harry goes to speak but he is interrupted by the box in Louis’ hand. He pulls the top back and reveals a platinum band with small encrusted diamonds around the rim.

“Louis.” Harry’s voice ghosts over as Louis takes his hand in his.

“Hazza….  Now that I’ve reached my destination, will you do the honor and accompany me on the rest of my journey?”

“Louis.” His voice comes with a low tremble.

“Harry Edward Styles. Will you marry me?”

Harry’s eyes widen. He chokes back some tears, his nose burning red at its end. He nods. He can’t speak but he nods and forces his lips into a smile that reveals his dimples.

“Awww.. don’t cry on me love. You know I’m no good with this emotional stuff.” Louis gets up in bed next to him and takes him into his arms.   
  
“I would love to Loueh.” Is all Harry says on repeat.  
  
And the rest is….

HISTORY.  
  
  
I hope you all enjoyed the adventure.


	30. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

The next year, Louis finds himself back on the University’s footy team having made it onto the Dean’s list. He gets a position as Harry’s teaching assistant and graduates from his Law program in first place. Louis continues to live with Harry. They occasionally visit both their mother's homes and share holidays with both families.

Liam holds to Yasir's promise and proposes to Zayn a year later during his graduation ceremony.  Zayn accepts his proposal and the two arrange for their wedding ceremony in December. Zayn moves in with Liam only after they are married.

George makes a permanent move to England, accepting a position as an entertainer with the center for mental health and addiction in Oxford. He puts out an album and kick starts his singing career with Niall’s encouragement. Niall graduates two years later and goes on to become a financial analyst with a local financial institute. He and George move into their own flat in Oxford. 

\------  
  
**Four years down the road.**

Louis has already made a name for himself having become a notable lawyer. He is well paid and well recognized for his witty attitude and shameless remarks working as a General Attorney with the _Supreme Court of  the United Kingdom_.

“Harry.” Louis calls out as he comes home late.

“Yes Lou?” Harry’s voice emerges from their bedroom.

Louis tracks Harry’s voice to their bedroom.

He finds Harry in bed reading a book.

“Hi love.”

“Hi love.” Harry smiles up at him, taking in the suit cladded Louis.   
  
The same suit Louis wore when he met him four years ago on the first day of class.

“I got … um.. something for you.” Louis walks over to the bed and hands Harry an envelope.

“For me?” Harry is excited, quickly grabbing it from his hand. He tears open the envelope and finds a thank you card.

Harry’s motions slow down as he carefully opens the card.

 

_My dearest love Harold,_

_Thank you for putting the wind in my sails. Your kindness has helped me reach my destination. Here is my repayment for your services._  
  
I love you always,

_Louis Tomlinson. Esq._

 

Harry giggles at the Esquire.  He pulls out a note from the card’s fold. It is a check.  It’s a check made out to Harry styles from Louis Tomlinson in the amount of 75, 000 pounds. Harry is taken back and looks at Louis.

Louis is kneeling in front of him on one knee. Harry goes to speak but he is interrupted by the box in Louis’ hand. He pulls the top back and reveals a platinum band with small encrusted diamonds around the rim.

“Louis.” Harry’s voice ghosts over as Louis takes his hand in his.

“Hazza….  Now that I’ve reached my destination, will you do the honor and accompany me on the rest of my journey?”

“Louis.” His voice comes with a low tremble.

“Harry Edward Styles. Will you marry me?”

Harry’s eyes widen. He chokes back some tears, his nose burning red at its end. He nods. He can’t speak but he nods and forces his lips into a smile that reveals his dimples.

“Awww.. don’t cry on me love. You know I’m no good with this emotional stuff.” Louis gets up in bed next to him and takes him into his arms.   
  
“I would love to Loueh.” Is all Harry says on repeat.  
  
And the rest is….

HISTORY.  
  
  
I hope you all enjoyed the adventure. -Z


End file.
